let's just go with "i'm color blind..."

so today . . . my clothes don't match.  that's why i'm blogging.

i started to write a status update on facebook about the terrible mistake i made this morning, but it was too long.  i could have shortened it, but really... if i can't say it the way i want to say it, then why say it at all!

i was sitting in ms. martha's class while the kids were having music time.  i was sitting instead of leading music, because in a moment of weakness, ms. martha and ms. michelle agreed that if i would do chapel every tuesday, they would cover the music time for the rest of the week!  that's right, people, i only have to do music one day every week!!  ...and tell the bible story, but still, it is a good deal for me!

so, i was sitting there, in a teeny tiny chair, when i happened to look down.  and that's when i saw it.  my top did not match my pants.  at all.  before i could stop myself, i said out loud, "my clothes don't match!"

(perhaps this would be a good place to remind you that i have certain ocd tendencies...  i need things to look a certain way!  i can't even explain my "rules" of how things have to go together.  i just know what is right and what is not..  and if i have to walk out of the house and something isn't right?  it will bother me all day long--translation: i will feel cranky and annoyed. all. day. long.)

ms. martha just looked at me.  "my clothes don't match," i repeated.  "i thought these jeans were red, but they are not.  they are orange!  and there isn't any orange in this top, just some red.  and pink and ivory and brown and, and, red!  and the red is dark!  it isn't even a sort of orangy red that could maybe go with these apparently orange jeans!  it doesn't match!!"

and then, ms. martha, my dear friend and co-worker, said, "well, it doesn't look (insert big pause here) ba-ad."  and yes, when she said the word 'bad' it had two syllables.

anytime it takes a person two syllables to say the word 'bad,' it is not a good thing!

"oh thank you!" i said, "because that's just what i was going for when i got dressed this morning.  i really wanted to come to school looking 'not ba-ad!'"

ms. leigh anne walked in about that time.  ms. leigh anne is new.  she is still getting used to me, so she did not offer an opinion on my choice of wardrobe.  she probably couldn't figure out what the big deal was.  as i said, she is still getting used to me...

but ms. martha knows.  in an attempt to salvage the day, she fell on her sword and offered up her own outfit as an example of something that didn't match.  (yes, she really is my friend.)  to be honest, she was right.  her outfit didn't match.  but it didn't help, because she had a perfectly good reason as to why her clothes didn't match... which i would tell you if this blog was about ms. martha, but it isn't.  it's about me :)

the ironic this is, i spend my days surrounded by tiny children who don't even know if my clothes match or not.  they aren't oblivious.  they constantly comment on what i am wearing, but it mostly sounds like this-"ms. julie, i like your bracelet,"  or  "ms julie, i like your dress," or "ms. julie, i like your sparkly shoes."  which doesn't necessarily help, because really, can you trust the judgement of someone who can't even tie their own shoes or who wear their shirts backwards?!?

so now i have a problem.  i do not have red jeans.  i have orange jeans.  what exactly does one wear with orange jeans???  i can't wear black, because orange and black are halloween colors.  clearly i can't wear red--i tried that today and it didn't work out that well.  brown?  i guess that would be ok, but that feels like fall to me. i thought about a white top and a yellow sweater, but that would make me look like a piece of candy corn...

i guess i'm going to have to give color blocking a try.

but color blocking is dangerous territory for someone like me.  not every orange looks great with every purple... or green... or pink???  especially when i think the orange is red... and it sort of is under some lights...  i mean, i could spend hours in my closet trying to come up with the right combinations.  i would never be on time to work... or anyplace else!

and i know that right now some of you are saying to yourselves, "what is the big deal? just throw on some clothes and go out the door!" and while you may be right, i can't seem to do that.  i can't!  well, i can, but only when i am wearing my pre-arranged, pre-approved "throw it on and go out the door clothes."  which, i'm not kidding, i have...

and perhaps you are wondering why this is a problem at all?  why on earth would someone buy a pair of orange jeans??  this is a very good question, because i would never buy orange jeans.  but again, i thought they were red!  i tried to convince myself that it was just the lights at school that was turning them orange, but when i went outside at lunch time (yes, i ventured out in my mismatched duds--when i'm hungry nothing gets between me and jack in the box!) i'm sad to say that they were still orange...

so i guess i am going to have to go shopping for something that will look right with orange jeans.  because after wearing them all day, i've decided that i kind of like them.  they are different.  everyone has red jeans, but who has orange jeans?!?!  (no one in their right mind, you say...  i know, i hear you...)  and i'm thinking i should probably wear the jeans when i go shopping, so i can be sure that whatever i choose will actually look ok with the actual color of the jeans, and not just the color i think they are in my head!

of course, this means that i am going to have to find something in my closet that i can wear with them when i go shopping... now where did i put that top i wore today...?

;-)

what if one day "they" discover that sugar was GOOD for us...

so today . . . i despair.  again.

i try to eat in a healthy way, i really do!  well, ok, that isn't totally true.  i know how to eat in a healthy way, and sometimes i make good food choices, but lately it has been awfully difficult.  i am finding that when it comes to eating, i am an 'all or nothing' type of person.  that hasn't always been true.  several years ago when we went on the south beach diet, i found that i could eat half a peanut butter cookie from subway after my lunch and feel satisfied.  HALF.  who eats half of a cookie?!?!?! but i was trying to make good food choices and had decided that half a peanut butter cookie a day was ok, but just half...

now before you all jump all over me about dieting when i was already pretty scrawny, let me just say that it wasn't so much about losing weight as it was about giving my body healthier foods to eat.  because the truth is, i could pretty much live on junk food and be happy.  but as we age... well, you know...  i don't want to die any earlier than i have to!  and i found that after following the south beach diet, my cravings for sweet things really did go away... until i ate something sweet.  which of course i did, because i like sweet things!

yesterday on facebook one of diandra's friends posted something about a dietary supplement that she was taking that was really helping her lose her post baby fat  she said it really helped to curb her appetite, and thus, her eating.

this would not work for me...

this would not work for me, because my eating is rarely about being hungry.  it is about what tastes good!  i am hardly ever hungry-i don't give myself a chance to be hungry!

i love to eat.

i blame my constant eating on some medication i am on.  my doctor keeps saying it is going to get better, but i am starting to despair just a little bit!  my brain knows i need to make better food choices, but my car keeps taking me to burger king for cinnabons!  yes, they now have authentic cinnabon rolls at burger king!  i am doomed...

...and then yesterday i got an email that said "eight superfoods to add to your diet now!"  i've heard of these superfoods, i just can't remember what they are!  so i thought i would check it out, and here is what i found...

1--salmon.  ok, i am good with this.  i LOVE salmon!!  it is almost always my food of choice when we eat out... well, when we eat out at a real restaurant where the menu isn't posted high on the wall behind the bank of cash registers, and you have to leave a tip.  but for some reason, i rarely fix salmon at home--and not just because i rarely cook!  i think it has something to do with having to actually buy the salmon from a store.  i grew up in oregon, and in oregon our salmon came from the ocean!  my dad went out and got on a boat and caught the salmon, and then he brought it home and cooked it in any of several delicious ways--my favorite being with cheese sauce (which i know maybe sort of defeats the purpose of eating a healthy fish, but it tastes soooo yummy!)  and so, during my formative years, i am pretty sure my mom never bought salmon at the store.  she just went to the freezer and ta-da! there it was.

salmon does not magically appear in my freezer, fresh from the ocean...

but still, i do love salmon, and so even though i don't eat it as often as the 8 superfoods article said i should (2-3 times a week,) i'm putting it in my "plus" column.

2--walnuts.  chalk up another one for me!  i have always loved walnuts.  in fact, i like almost every kind of nut (just ask rollie-teeheehee,)  walnuts are a little bitter, though, so my favorite way of eating them is by the handful, mixed with chocolate chips.

i'm pretty sure chocolate chips are not one of the 8 superfoods...

i have just the opposite problem with walnuts that i have with salmon--i eat way more that the recommended amount (15 nuts a day.)  fifteen nuts a day???  who can eat just 15 nuts a day?!?!?  and since i can't have chocolate chips with my walnuts, i have to mix them with pecans, so then i am eating at least 30 nuts a day...  and i've heard that almonds and pistachios are also good for you, and don't even get me started on cashews!  i haven't heard that cashews have any specific health benefits, but they sure are tasty!  and addicting...

3--broccoli.  a few years ago, this would have been a definite "i will die before i eat this" food.  but while we were on the south beach diet, i taught myself to tolerate it.  and now, i really like it!  i can eat it steamed or raw, and i don't even have to embellish it with fattening sauces (although a little ranch dressing is always a good thing, isn't it?)  broccoli is a superfood that i love, which is a good thing, because the list of other cruciferous vegetables (cabbage, brussels sprouts, kale, bok choy, and horseradish) are definitely "i will die before i eat this" foods.  i guess i'll just have to eat a lot of broccoli.

so as i was reading this article, i was starting to think, "i am doing pretty good!  i have no problem eating the first three superfoods.  maybe i won't die young after all!"  and then, i looked at the next superfood...

4--sweet potatoes.  eew.  in my family we only ate sweet potatoes once a year-at thanksgiving.  that was not often enough to develop a taste for them--even when they had marshmallow filling. i have noticed several places are starting to serve sweet potato fries, but i am thinking that those might not really count as a superfood, although i could probably learn to like them.  i think my main problem with sweet potatoes are their texture.  maybe if i could hide them in a smoothie... a few days ago, ms. jessica gave me a little taste of her smoothie.  it was very healthy.  it had spinach in it.  "but you can't even taste it!" she said.  does she think i am five years old??  i am not that easily fooled.  it was GREEN for goodness sake.  it may have had all sorts of wonderful fruits and vegetables in it, but it was green.  there was spinach in it!  i tried it, but i can tell you that there was no way i would be able to drink a whole huge cup of it like she had.  no.  way.

now, if sweet potatoes tasted like pumpkin, there might be hope.  then again, i don't really like pumpkin either, unless it is in a pie or cookies or ice cream... and it is fall...

5--mushrooms.  ok, listen to this.  "mushrooms have long been an unsung hero in the realm of superfoods, but they are now starting to get recognized as a major player because they're the only fruit or vegetable source of vitamin D."  are you serious???? vitamin D comes from the sun.  the sun!  ten to fifteen minutes a day is all it supposedly takes to get your vitamin D fix, and i am out on the playground a whole lot longer than that every day!  even if you are not fortunate enough to live in the land of perpetual sunshine, there are always delicious, chewy dietary supplements that can be taken-i know because i take them.  i am NOT eating a mushroom.  it is a fungus, for goodness sake!!!

6--tomatoes.  "studies show that eating tomato products may reduce prostate cancer risk."

not my problem.

however, i know there are other benefits to eating tomatoes.  so i tried to learn to like them.  after all, i learned to like broccoli (and cauliflower, btw, which apparently is not a superfood.  i wish i had known that before i made myself eat it...) i thought i would start slowly, so whenever i ordered a sourdough jack at jack in the box, i would just say "no ketchup," but i would let them leave the sliced tomatoes on it.

baby steps, people, baby steps.

here was the problem--the hamburger was hot.  the tomato slices were cold.  and apparently the cold was stronger than the hot, because i know, i KNOW those tomato slices cooled my hamburger off to the point where it was barely edible.  so maybe tomato slices on my hamburgers was not a good idea...  and as we already know, the tiny grape tomatoes had too much of a squish factor to become a regular food.  although, i did plant a grape tomato plant, hoping that fresh ones would taste better than the ones in the store.  everyone said they would.  but what i discovered was that they just tasted more like a tomato!!!

7--blueberries.  this should be an easy one.  blueberries are a fruit, and fruit is sweet, and i like sweet things, so this one should be easy... and maybe it would be. except for the dreaded squish factor.

i can't help it.  i have texture issues.  little did i know that the blueberry muffins that you make with a jiffy mix, which i love, don't have real blueberries in them.  the first time i had a real blueberry muffin, i was horrified!  after the first blueberry exploded in my mouth, i laboriously picked out all the other blueberries so i could finish my breakfast!

my mom eats blueberries every morning on her cereal.  frozen blueberries.  she thinks they are wonderful.  but then, she also eats flax seed...

the last time i was at costco, i bought a bag of dried blueberries.  for rollie.  because i certainly don't want him to die, and if blueberries are the key to longevity, then by golly, he has got to eat them.  and he loves dried fruit, so i thought it was worth a try... yesterday i went into the man room just in time to see him throwing away the bag of dried blueberries.  "what are you doing?" i said. "those are good for you!  and you like dried fruit!!"  he made a face.  "i don't think i like dried blueberries.  they taste funny."  listen, those dried blueberries don't grow on trees!  those dried blueberries were expensive!!  i was not going to just let him throw them away.  "give them to me," i said.  "i'll try them.  maybe i will like them!"  i put one in my mouth.  "i think maybe it is ok to throw these away," i said...

8--dark chocolate!!  ok, now we are talking!  i can totally get on board with this one!  in fact, since i have started eating dark chocolate, milk chocolate just tastes too sweet for me--a novel concept, i know.  but anytime "they" say dark chocolate is good for me, i am just going to accept that at face value and do my very best to stay healthy by eating as much dark chocolate as i can get my hands on.  yep.  i will live to be 100 by eating dark chocolate...

one day i am going to come up with my own list of superfoods.  it will have absolutely nothing to do with nutrition and everything to do with satisfaction.  because the truth is, no matter how bad it is for you, sometimes you just have to have a cinnabon.

or two.

my 39th first day of school...

so today . . . it has been 146 days since i last blogged.  i'm sorry...

blogging is sort of like exercising--if you miss a few days, it is awfully hard to get back into the habit.  and if you miss 146 days... well, let's just say my blogging muscles have become flabby and perfectly happy sitting on the couch.

but here i am.  i apparently took the summer off... and most of the spring as well.  a lot has happened during that time.  i found out i was going to be a grandma (i know, it is hard to believe since i still look like i'm about 30... ok, you can stop laughing now...) school ended.  diandra and i went to portland for a week, and then rollie and i drove up to brookings to check on our house and then went on a cruise to mexico.  i found an awesome new house sitter (thank goodness, because it seems like we were gone a lot!) and switched classrooms... again!  we went to lots and lots of angels games, and made new friends (it's amazing how yelling at... i mean for... a team can unite you.)  i got a new car (pretty much like the old one, only better.) we went to denver for some meetings, (which meant i had to miss the first week of school,) and then school started.  for me.  today...

i was not late for school.  well, ok, i was one minute late, but i don't think one minute counts.  actually, i don't think five minutes counts--that is part of my problem!  but this year i am committed to being on time.  every day.  i just give myself a five minute grace period :) hopefully the person calculating the time cards will also give me a five minute grace period...

so i was on time.  i walked into my teeny tiny classroom (i forgot to mention that the new classroom i moved into is about the size of my kitchen.  my kitchen is a decent size for a kitchen, but pretty small for a classroom,) and groaned!  i had had to move all my stuff and organize the room three weeks ago, because i was going to be gone at the end of august and the beginning of september, so i had spent a couple of days trying to whip things into shape.  the truth is, it wasn't really up to my exacting standards, but i ran out of time, and so, there it was... 

however, changes had taken place since i left it.  some of them i expected--all the papers and stuff from last week--but there were other things that had been left in there that just had to go!  there is no space in my teeny tiny classroom for clutter (and by clutter, i mean anything that doesn't belong to ME!)  and since i was on time, but not early, i had to do some serious moving while still watching ten kindergarteners...

... and then i got the word that i was getting another student!  under normal circumstances, this would be a good thing, but these were not normal circumstances.  our space was already pretty well maxed out!  and all the workbook pages had already been organized for the whole year.  and the seating was ok for ten, but was going to be awfully tight for eleven...

...and then i lost two workbooks.  two.  i know i had them.  i know they were there.  but when i got ready to add them to the other workbook pages, they were gone.  i looked everywhere, but those two books were nowhere to be found!  and i need them, because as i just said, i am getting a new student and she is going to need those workbook pages...

...and then last week someone had let the kids bring blankets and pillows for rest time.  big pillows.  and blankets.  now i can't complain too much since i was gone, but there is no room in our teeny tiny classroom to store big pillows and blankets for eleven students--not to mention what pillows and blankets to do rest time!  does anyone rest?!? of course not!  all they do is play with their blankets and pillows... especially if the pillows are pillow pets...

...and then i had one little dumpling who brought all of his own food today.  no allergies, he just wanted to bring his own food.  this created issues with the other kids who would rather have his food than the school's food.  ok, i'll admit there are days when i would rather have his food too, but today his food was almost exactly the same as the school's food!! and yet, there it sat in his brand new, totally unnecessary lunch box, calling his name, while his mean teacher (that would be me,) made him eat what everyone else was eating...

my desk is a mess.  there are stacks of papers everywhere.  the children are having to adjust to quiet voices and walking feet and holding a pencil correctly. i am having to adjust to not having an aide, or a bathroom in the class, or a sink, or space to move around.  i had kids trying to cut their plastic pencil box with their brand new scissors, i had kids asking "but when do we get to play?" over and over and over again, i had kids falling out of their chairs and coloring their hands with their markers.  it was not the best of first days...

...but in the middle of all of that chaos, i laughed.  i was explaining about echos and how i wanted the children to "echo" what i was saying as we were learning a new sound.  so i finished explaining and found the song that i use to teach the vowels, and reminded them to "echo" me... and then before i could start the song, i coughed.  which resulted in... you guessed it... a whole chorus of coughs!

oh well... they may not have mastered the short vowel sound of "i", but at least they were listening and trying to follow my directions...

tomorrow is another day :)

now if i can just keep the chinese teacher's materials from taking over my space...

rain = no need for sunglasses :(

so today . . .  it rained.

it rained.  here i am, with brand new prescription sunglasses...  and it rained.

the cosmos hates me...