Friday, September 16, 2011

adventures in cooking #1

so today . . . i cooked. it wasn't pretty.

i have this brand new lovely kitchen. it has new cherry cabinets. it has wood laminate flooring. it has stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. it has big windows and is open to the family room. it is beautiful! i love to be in it, so i've decided i should start cooking again.

i actually decided this about five or six weeks ago. it was one of those nights after rollie was staying at the new house, but i was still packing up the old house. all alone. which was ok--i didn't really want rollie to help me pack, because i knew at that point his idea of packing was going to be to throw everything into the dumpster! so i was all alone in a big, not empty enough, very quiet house, but nothing was getting packed. i just kept walking from room to room, picking things up, moving them around, but making no progress. i needed noise.

i cannot explain it, but my brain seems to need noise to function properly. which was a problem, because all the tvs that could get hd programming were gone. all i had left was the small, old tv that i used in the scary room, and it was not hd ready! it only got one channel. but luckily the channel it got was shopping tv! so i flipped it on, and started packing boxes...

i was packing boxes with half my brain, but the other half was watching shopping tv. nine o'clock rolled around, which is midnight in florida. this meant it was time for a new "today's special!" so i stopped for a minute to watch. and guess what? the new "today's special" was a set of cookware. and it came in red...

i have cookware. i got most of it as wedding gifts, so it is kind of old. but it is still in pretty good condition, because, you know, i don't use it all that often. but this new cookware had clear glass lids (the better to see what you are cooking, my dear!) a new type of ceramic non-stick interior surface (good for temperatures up to 850 degrees!!) and did i mention it was red? and sparkly? clearly this cookware was made for me.

i texted rollie--"i think if i am going to start cooking in our beautiful new kitchen, i need new pans. red ones." he replied, "ok."

ok?!?! what kind of a response is that?? i needed clarification.

"what do you mean, ok? do you mean it's ok with you if i buy them? or do you mean ok YOU will buy them? or do you mean ok, yeah, i'll believe it when i see it?!?"

and his response? "yes." (there was also a goofy smiley icon with weird eyes and the tongue sticking out. sadly for you, i can't figure out how to get that into my blog.)

"ok, then i'll take that as a yes! thank you
!!"

this was a bluff. because here's how the finances work in our household--rollie keeps track of the money and pays the bills, and i don't worry about it. (although there are written instructions in case something happens to him-like he gets lost in the bermuda triangle, which could happen-and then i would have to keep track of the money and pay the bills.) i used to keep track of the money and pay the bills, but mostly i would spend it. so this way works out much better. which is why i was checking with him before purchasing a new set of cookware.

"well," he texted, "you are working and have some money to spend... or how about this? how about if i buy them after the third home-cooked meal in the new house."

he is so funny...

"it will be too late by then! they will be sold out! but you are right. i chose to buy shoes and jewelry instead... and it isn't like i don't have pans... or like i actually use them..."

i know you can't technically hear 'tone of voice' in a text, but i am pretty sure he detected my not so cleverly hidden whining and sighing. ever mindful of my feelings, he texted back. "oh, it's a sale. ok, how about if you buy them tonight, and i will reimburse you after the third meal you cook in them?"

i was beginning to think he didn't believe me when i said i was going to start cooking more. and clearly he had forgotten that it was summer, which meant i wasn't working OR getting a paycheck. i mean, i had money, but i might need it for something... like, like, well you know, SOMETHING...

i finally ordered the cookware, and it came while we were on vacation. but after we got home from vacation, i was busy still unpacking boxes, and then we had to leave on a business trip, and then my mom and dad came... so not a lot of cooking was been going on...

which brings us to tonight. we had planned to take my mom and dad to eat at ruby's in seal beach. it sits on the end of the pier, and the food is really good, and i thought it would be fun to be at the beach and drink a milkshake! but it was cloudy all day today. all day!! not a great day to go eat at the beach. and rollie was feeling a little under the weather. and my dad had his nose in a book. and my mom and i were learning how to use our new electronic devices. so we decided to eat at home.

we have eaten at home some since they got here--mostly bologna sandwiches. WHICH WE LIKE!! but this was dinner, so i thought it should be hot. and yet, we were all kind of busy... so, toasted cheese sandwiches it was!

i got out the bread and the cheese and the butter. i unlocked the cooktop and turned it on. i got out my new frying pan :-) and proceeded to make toasted cheese sandwiches for my dad and rollie, because yes, this frying pan was big enough to make two toasted cheese sandwiches at once!

here is how i make toasted cheese sandwiches--i butter one piece of bread and plop it in the pan. then i slice the cheese and put it on top. and then i butter the other piece of bread and put it on top of the cheese. then i flip it. typically this works. but tonight was not typical...

because you see, not only had i never before used this particular frying pan, i had also never before used this particular burner on my cooktop, which meant i wasn't quite sure how hot was hot enough. apparently "7" was too hot. because no sooner had i finished constructing the second sandwich for my dad, than i thought there was an awful lot of smoke coming from the first sandwich.

"quick," i said to my mom, who happened to be standing in front of the utensil drawer (because how would she know that was the utensil drawer--we hadn't used any utensils!) "move! i need to get the spatula!" (i never know if spatula is the right word for that flat thing you use to turn stuff over with. i've always called it a pancake turner, but it seems kind of odd to call it a pancake turner when using it to flip an egg or a hamburger or a toasted cheese sandwich.) i opened the utensil drawer only to find... wooden spoons. no spatulas. or pancake turners. and then i remembered...

when diandra moved back in with us three years ago, some of her kitchen utensils were much better than mine (obviously, since i had been "using" mine for over 25 years!) so i had just tossed my old ones out and replaced them with her new ones. but now that she was planning to move out again, i had packed her newish utensils with her stuff. which meant that i had no spatula. or pancake turner. what i did have was a smoking pile of bread, butter, and cheese and nothing to flip it with.

i grabbed the only thing i could find. the cheese slicer. it was small, but at least it was flat. it was not however, a spatula. or a pancake turner. i tried to flip the sandwich only to have everything slide off to one side...

oh nonononono! i cannot have a misaligned toasted cheese sandwich! it might be burned, but those bread edges were going to line up properly and that cheese was going to stay inside! i flicked the now burned piece of bread repeatedly until everything was square, and then repeated the process with my dad's sandwich, which was also threatening to burn.

"you might want to turn the heat down a little," said my mom.

she is obviously the cook in the family.

it hadn't even occurred to me to turn down the heat. i was just trying to keep the sandwiches moving so that at least the second side wouldn't be burned. after her suggestion, i turned the burner down to "5"...

i've been cooking on a gas stove top for the last 20 years. on a gas stove top when you turn the flame down, it is immediately cooler. this is not true of an electric burner. electric burners take a while to cool down--especially if you have already heated them up to "7."

my dad's sandwich wasn't too bad. i can't say the same for rollie's. my mom (bless her little pink heart,) said, "why don't i eat that one, and you can make rollie another one." ok i thought, i've got the hang of this now. surely if i make a third sandwich, it will be perfect...

so i turned the burner down, buttered another piece of bread, and proceeded to make another toasted cheese sandwich, thinking "third time's a charm..."

sadly, it wasn't. not even close.but the good news is, i've now cooked in my new pans three times--i made toasted cheese sandwiches tonight, and i've boiled eggs. twice.

the bad news is, i appear to have forgotten how to cook!

i'm pretty sure that even though i have new, red, sparkly pans in my cupboard, they are not going to forget our names at rubio's...

1 comment:

Wendy said...

All I can do is shake my head and feel sorry for Rollie...