the power of suggestion strikes again...

so today . . .  i cannot blog.

i cannot blog today, but not for the usual reasons.  usually when i say i cannot blog, it is because i am too tired, or nothing blog-worthy happened, or my brain has left the building.  but none of those reasons are the reason i cannot blog today... (well, except that really nothing blog-worthy happened, but i could probably come up with something if i gave it some thought.)  the problem today is that i need to do report cards and homework letters for school tomorrow, and it is already almost 10:00!

why, you may ask, didn't i get started earlier?  well, i have my reasons!

first of all, i didn't sleep very well last night.  and it is all my doctor's fault! 

i had to go to the doctor yesterday for a follow up visit to my "annual procedure."  she is not happy with the mediocre results we are getting with my current medications, so she wants to make some changes in a few weeks.  in order to make the best decision, she started asking me some questions about how my current medications are affecting me.  "are you irritable?" she asked.  "i don't think so," i replied.  "i mean, my husband hasn't looked at me like i was a crazy person and asked what the heck was wrong with me!  so no, i don't think i am irritable."  "ok," she said, "what about sleeping?  are you sleeping ok?"  "yes," i said, "i sleep really good!  sometimes i wake up in the night, but i usually go right back to sleep.  but sometimes i go to bed really late." (i didn't tell her it was because i blog!) "so maybe i don't get enough sleep, but not because i CAN'T sleep."  "ok," she said, "i'm asking because one of your medications tends to ramp most people up."

what?!?!  one of my medications tends to ramp most people up?  where is my ramping up???  this is a side effect i could use!  it seems like i am always tired (probably because i hardly have any iron in my blood, but that is another story...) i think that if i have to take this medication, it is only fair that i get the good side effects...

now i am irritable.

but my doctor said adequate sleep is important to managing my medical issues.  so last night i went to bed early.  before 9:00!   and laid there, not sleeping.  i didn't get to sleep until after 11:00, and then i woke up every couple of hours!  all. night. long.  this has never happened to me before.  i am usually a good sleeper.  i stay up until i am tired, and then i fall asleep quickly and am dead to the world until i start smacking the snooze button on my alarm at 7:00 in the morning.

in fact once, our security system went off in the middle of the night.  rollie immediately leaped out of bed, grabbed a weapon and went to investigate.  diandra jumped out of bed and peeked out into the hall to see what was happening.  the dogs barked, and mia jumped off the bed and on the bed and off the bed and on the bed.  i was aware that the alarm had gone off, but i just rolled over and continued to sleep.  i only know what happened, because rollie told me the next morning... along with little comments like, "if i wasn't home, and that was a real burglar breaking in to the house, you would be dead!  you have to pay attention to the alarm!"  i sort of think that if i was alone and a real burglar was breaking into the house, my best defense would be to stay asleep and hope he would just take the valuables and run...

but i digress.

my point is that i slept perfectly fine until my doctor put the notion in my head that maybe i shouldn't be sleeping perfectly fine.  and so last night i didn't sleep perfectly fine, which meant that i was tired today.  so when i came home from school, i took a little nap... just to get me through the evening.  because it is thursday, and rollie teaches a class on thursdays, and usually we go out to eat before his class. and i had some errands to run after that, so i didn't get home until almost 8:00. and then it was time to farm with my dad on facebook.  and then, milo started bugging me to hold him...

which would have been fine if he would have let me hold him.  but he didn't want to lay in my lap, he wanted me to hold him in my arms.  but he kept shifting around.  he just couldn't get comfortable.  he will lay in rollie's lap and let rollie hold him for hours, but when i hold him, he wants to actually be held.  in my arms.  and he is a bit chubby, so my arms get tired pretty quickly.  

finally rollie came home from his class.  "oh good!  you are home!!"  i exclaimed.  "why?  what's the matter?" he asked.  "milo is demanding to be held, and i have stuff to do!  maybe he doesn't feel good..."  "he is probably just ready to go to bed.  usually we are in bed by now, and he seems to know when it is time."

ah yes... milo doesn't have any trouble sleeping at all!  of course, maybe that is because he lays his chubby little body on the most comfortable spot on the bed... my pillow!  

for some reason he has recently decided that he has every bit as much right to lay his little furry head (or whole body,) on my pillow as i have.  and usually he gets away with it.  because usually i am asleep!  of course, if last night is any indication, that may soon all change...

and so, here i am at 10:45, "not blogging" because it is late, and i have school work to do.  i don't think i am going to be asleep by 11:00 tonight either...  and getting all the school work done before morning is starting to look less and less likely to happen...

... unless, of course, some "ramping up" starts to occur...

thank goodness my car is not powered by diet lemonade...

so today . . .  i decided to quit complaining about the high price of gas... at least until the high price of diet lemonade from chick fil a goes down...

i've stopped drinking soda.  really.  it has been three or four weeks since a diet coke has passed my lips.  you know it has been a goal of mine to be soda free, and yet, i never last more than a few days before the siren song of that bubbly, caffeinated, sugary deliciousness called diet coke (or pepsi one or diet lemon cokesi) lures me right back in.  i couldn't help it.  i was probably slightly addicted... slightly...

and then a few weeks ago, i had lunch with diandra at chick fil a.  i ordered my usual kid's meal with a diet coke, but diandra ordered a diet lemonade (sweetened with splenda, mom, so don't worry.)  i looked at her quizically and she explained to me that she was trying to eat more healthfully and that included eliminating soda from her diet.

ok.  fine.  whatever.  (don't you hate it when your kids make better choices than you do...) we ate lunch and i enjoyed my diet coke and didn't give it another thought...

...until the next day when i was back at chick fil a for lunch.  (i eat lunch out a lot now.  this is new for me, since my lunch break was increased from half an hour to an hour this year.  now i have time to actually get out of the building, breathe some fresh air, and eat food i didn't have to prepare.  but i am somewhat limited in my choices, because an hour isn't as long as you might think it is--especially when you have to punch a time clock.  so i have to stay pretty close to work, which means chick fil a, jack in the box, subway, or mcdonald's.  chick fil a usually wins...)  so there i was, at the counter placing my order, and i found myself ordering a diet lemonade.  diandra had given me a taste of hers the day before, and it was really good.  so there i was, choosing lemonade over soda...

i'm pretty sure the earth stood still for a minute.

i ate my lunch, refilled my lemonade and headed back to work.  and then a funny thing happened.  over the next few days, i found myself choosing iced tea or diet lemonade over coke or pepsi.  and before i realized it,  i had gone for five days without any soda!  maybe i could really do it.  maybe i didn't need to have that sweet, fizzy, caffeine fix every day.  maybe i wouldn't die without it...

but if i was going to really stay away from sodas, i was going to have to find some alternatives.  and what i learned, over the last few weeks, is that not all un-carbonated beverages are created equally.  the iced tea at subway is sweetened with honey and tastes kind of yukky.  jack in the box has unsweetened iced tea (yay!) but they only make one batch a day, so if you go there for dinner, you are probably out of luck.  subway does have bottled flavored iced tea drinks, but they cost the same as a fountain drink and you can't refill them!  their fountain does have minute maid lite lemonade though, which is ok...

but the best beverage by far (if one is not going to drink diet lemon cokesi) is the diet lemonade at chick fil a!  i give it all the credit for helping me to stay soda-free.  it is what started me on the road to recovery, and it is what keeps me there.  the problem is, chick fil a is a little farther from my house than 7-11 (which, btw is probably going bankrupt now that i am not stopping there every morning for a giant diet lemon cokesi.)  and so today i had a brilliant idea!  i was going to see if it was possible to buy chick fil a's diet lemonade by the gallon!

i tossed this idea out to ms. jessica while we were on the playground.  ms. jessica loves chick fil a nearly as much as i do.  "so," i said to her, "do you think it is possible to buy the diet lemonade at chick fil a by the gallon?"  "yes," she said, "i know you can buy their sweetened tea by the gallon.  i think it is about $5."

ok.  five dollars for a gallon of lemonade.  that's not bad.  it would probably last me for four or five days, and it would keep me from drinking soda, and did  mention how delicious it is???  i was glad i could buy it by the gallon and have it at home and at school and in my car... i was pretty excited about it and already figuring out how much i was going to need every week...

and then i looked at my gas gauge.  i didn't immediately need gas (thank goodness) but it did make me think about how much i pay for gas.  a couple of weeks ago when i filled my tank, gas was about $4.29 a gallon!  four dollars and twenty nine cents a gallon!!!  it's crazy! and yet every couple of weeks i put ten gallons of the stuff in my car.  and complain about it (to myself, because it seems as though i am almost always by myself in my car, so there is never anyone there to listen to me rant and rave about the ridiculous price of gas!) 

and then suddenly it hit me.  i didn't mind paying $5 a gallon for lemonade (which i was just going to drink, and then, you know...) in fact, i was excited about it!  but i continued to complain about the price of gas, (which powers my car and takes me wherever i need to go!)  the gas is useful and necessary.  the lemonade is neither.  and yet i couldn't wait to get to chick fil a and buy myself a gallon of lemonade...

i'll admit i am not the most practical or consistant person on the planet.

but let's not lose sight of the good news!  the good news is, i've stopped drinking soda!!  and so, if it costs me $5 a gallon for lemonade, that's ok.  it is a good trade.  i'll just make a sandwich one day a week to offset the cost of it.  it will be worth it...

... or at least, it would have been worth it at $5 a gallon.  but when i got up to the counter at chick fil a to place my order, i discovered that the diet lemonade was not $5 a gallon.  it was $10.73 a gallon.

yeah, the price of gas is looking better and better...

the camera doesn't lie... or does it...

so today . . . i am on diandra's blog...

i have mixed feelings about this.  i have come to the conclusion that i am not photogenic, so being featured on a photography blog makes me a little uneasy.  however, the photography blog belongs to my daughter, who thinks i am "cute."  i think she is blinded by love.  but, whatever, there i am...

i don't think the pictures are horrible.  the dress was beautiful, the light was gorgeous, the shoes were unexpected--yet sparkly!  and the photographer was amazing!  the problem was my hair...

...my hair.  the bane of my existence.  my hair has always been an issue for me.  until a few years ago, i was never happy with how it looked.  i tried it long and straight.  i tried it short and curly.  i tried it short and straight, and long and curly.  when it was straight, my ears would stick out.  to get it curly, i had to perm it.  my life has been a constant battle with my hair.  until a few years ago...

a few years ago, my hair got long--longer than it had ever been before.  i didn't plan it that way, i just neglected to go in and have it cut.  for months!  and as it got longer, rollie and diandra really liked it.  even now, when i talk about cutting it short again, they both say, "NOOOOOO!"  of course, they have both seen me with short hair--they know it is not going to be good.  i always have great hope that this time will be different.  this time the short hair cut will look good.  but it never does.

but long hair has it's own issues.  like when do i get it cut?  i just tend to sort of ignore it until one day i decide it is driving me crazy and must be cut immediately!  (these are the days when it is good that i live in a big city and can just walk into super cuts and get my hair cut.  diandra is horrified that i trust my hair to super cuts, but then, she has the patience to wait for an appointment at a better salon.  i do not.  and if i can't get in somewhere for a haircut immediately, i have been known to do it myself...  usually that is not the best decsion.  usually.)  and so, there are days when i walk around with witchy hair... those in between days when it is really too long, but i haven't noticed it yet.

this was the sort of day when we decided to take pictures in my wedding dress.  a witchy hair day.

sadly, i did not know it was a witchy hair day.  i was too focused on diandra's upcoming wedding and the fact that it was only a few days away, and i had said i was going to make her a bolero-type jacket out of my wedding dress for her to wear with her wedding dress.  we had been planning this for several months, so it isn't like i just suddenly had this great idea at the last minute.  and yet, there we were, at the last minute.  but i wanted to take photos first, and between my schedule and diandra's schedule, and the weather (winter, you know,) we hadn't been able to make it happen...

... until just a few days before her wedding.  i suddenly realized that if i didn't get started on making the jacket immediately, i would not have time to finish it before the wedding.  so when i got home from school, i threw the dress on, we walked down to the park, and took some pictures.

it was a beautiful day.  the light was warm and golden.  i loved wearing my dress, realizing that this would be the last time i would wear it...  and then, there i was, looking into the camera without a clue as to what to do next.  diandra tried to help me.  she put me different places and gave me ideas of what to do with myself, but i just felt awkward.  i sooo wanted the pictures to be beautiful and perfect, but people were looking at me (ok, there were only a couple of dog walkers, but they LOOKED at me, like "what the heck is she doing?!?!)  and the wind was blowing.  hard.  my hair kept blowing in my face.  but diandra just kept snapping pictures...

and then we went home, and i cut up my dress.  diandra showed me the pictures she had taken, and to be honest, i was disappointed.  all i could see was my unruly hair.  why hadn't i taken a few minutes to curl it or straighten it or something?  why hadn't i planned ahead and at least had my bangs cut so you could see my face??  why hadn't i done something besides twirl around???

oh well...  it was too late to do anything about it.  my dress was in pieces, just waiting to be sewn into a jacket for diandra...  there were no "do overs."

i didn't give the photos much thought after that.  diandra got married.  we moved.  i went back to school in the fall...  and then last week i got a text from diandra.  "guess who is going to be on my blog this week?"  yep, it was me.  in my wedding dress.  with my witchy hair. 

i protested.  "mom, stop!" she said, "you look cute!"  as i said, she was blinded by love... and so, i waited for the blog with both dread and hope.  and waited.  and waited.  because although she had planned to post the blog last week, i got bumped.  to monday!  what a way to start the week...

this morning diandra sent me this text, "you are on my blog."  "AAACCCKKKKK!"  i replied.  "i guess i'd better go look."  and so i did.  and again, all i could see was my witchy hair.  i texted diandra, "i was right.  my hair was awful!  i wish we had taken a few more minutes to fix it better.  and my nose always looks so big in pictures.  does it look that big in person?  i did love the pictures that didn't have my face in them."

and then diandra texted me these words, "um... no.  you look happy and beautiful.  stop it."

well, you know, she is my daughter.  that is how i look through her filters.  i just hoped i wouldn't scare people away from visiting her blog again...

later in the day i went back and looked at the pictures a second time.  and i liked them a little better.  and then i looked at them again before i started blogging, and you know what?  i don't know about beautiful, but i do look happy.

in diandra's blog, she said i hated being in front of the camera.  that isn't completely true.  i like having my picture taken, because i am always hopeful that the results will be good.  but they rarely are, which is why i also hate having my picture taken.  i'm always worried about my bangs or my posture or that weird smile i get when i'm forced to hold a smile.  and i never think i look like myself.  i mean, i look at myself every day when i get ready for work, so i think i know what i look like.  but then i look at pictures of myself and they don't really look like me, or at least what i think i look like.  and so then i wonder, what do i really look like?

i take pictures all the time.  of diandra.  of rollie.  of the dogs.  they all look great in my pictures--probably because they are used to having their pictures taken.  i am not.  i am always the one taking the pictures, not the one getting my picture taken.  and so i think i am just not comfortable in front of the camera, and that's why i don't think i look like myself.  i look like a flat, two dimensional caricature of myself.  at least, that's what i think.

but i've also been thinking about diandra's words today.  it doesn't matter if i looked cute or beautiful.  cute and beautiful are just a matter of someone's opinion.  clearly!  what does matter is that i looked happy.  whether i like it or not, i looked like myself, on that day, witchy hair and all.  it was a beautiful day, i was out in the park with my darling daughter, and we were laughing.  i was happy.  even though my hair was trying to swallow my face...

so i think i'm going to stop avoiding the camera.  i think i'm going to step in front of it once in a while, even if i have to put my camera in someone else's hands and say, "take a picture of me."  i'm not going to worry about my bangs being perfect.  (well, that's a lie.  i will worry about my bangs until the day i die.  but if they aren't perfect, i'm going to try not to let it ruin my picture.)  diandra has said that she doesn't always take her good camera with her, because she finds that if she is focused on taking pictures, then she isn't really experiencing the moment.  i think that is probably true.  i think i haven't really been a part of a lot of moments, because i have been busy taking pictures.  but i need to have pictures to remind me of the fun times we have had...

i guess it comes down to this.  pictures document our moments.  and all of our moments aren't perfect, so neither are our pictures.  but perfection shouldn't be the goal!  the goal should be documenting a memory, imperfections and messy hair and all.  it doesn't matter if i look beautiful.  what matters is if i look happy.  or contemplative.  or tired.  or whatever the moment brings.

so thank you, diandra, for documenting my wedding dress's last day.  thank you for taking the time to take those pictures.  and blogging them.  thank you for making me laugh.  and thank you for reminding me today that although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder,  happiness can be seen by everyone.

(although, it could be seen more easily if i could remember to get my hair cut...)

plan? plan? what plan...

so today . . .  i have blogger's block.

my goal last week was to blog about diandra's wedding all week long.  there were so many gorgeous photos i wanted to share, but getting the photos onto the blog has proven to be an issue.  so my plan was to blog like a maniac this weekend and get caught up.  which was a great plan, except rollie was gone friday and saturday, which meant "project time" for me.

i thought i could do both.  i thought i could do projects during the day and then blog at night.  but that isn't exactly what happened...

... because what happened was that everything took waaaay longer than i thought it would.  of course.  it always does!

but i did attempt to blog.  in fact, i have SIX unfinished blogs in my draft folder.  (actually, i have 88 unfinished blogs in my draft folder, but only six from last week.  i should probably clean out my draft folder...)  i just can't seem to finish one!  my brain is just going in too many different directions to focus!

so.  here is my plan.  this is my blog for today (sad and pathetic as it is.)  and then i will try to do regular blogging next week.  but i will also work on finishing up last weeks blogs...

...because i can't just abandon them!  there are beautiful pictures to see, and computer glitches to complain about, and an inspiring event to share, and power tools and vacation plans and a trip to home depot...

yes, it was a busy week.  no wonder i couldn't focus long enough to finish even. one. blog.

the day before the big event...

so today . . . i am thinking about tomorrow.

i am thinking about tomorrow, because last year at this time we were in las vegas for diandra's wedding, which was going to be the next day. and so a year ago on this day, we were into full blown preparations...

by mid-afternoon nearly everyone had arrived in las vegas. and when i say nearly everyone, i mean the four members of our family that were able to make the trip, and the 40 members of javier's family who were there... yes, we were a little bit outnumbered :)

our car was full of stuff. diandra and javi's car was full of stuff. because when you plan a destination wedding, it is surprising how much stuff there is to transport! diandra had found a wonderful venue, but it had a gazebo. diandra is not a fan of gazebos. in fact, when she started looking at venues, "no gazebo" was one of her first criteria. and yet, there we were. with a gazebo...clearly something had to be done. diandra's solution was to hang purple and silver christmas balls and tiny chandeliers from the gazebo. i was not seeing how that was going to help, but she kept saying, "trust me, mom, it will be pretty and sparkly!" so my mom and dad and i spent the very windy afternoon stringing purple and silver christmas balls on the gazebo. keeping those things untangled while the wind did it's best to tie them in knots was truly a group effort. i fully expected it to be a big, giant mess when we arrived for the wedding the next day, but miraculously everything stayed in place.while we were working outside, rollie was running back and forth to the airport picking up two of diandra's cousins and her best friend. after they arrived, the girls went to work setting up the tables for the reception...and the candy buffet...the candy buffet almost didn't make it to the actual wedding. the purple gummy bears were especially at risk! but finally everything was set up and ready to go...

and so the kids left. they all went back to caesar's palace to lounge by the pool, go out to dinner, and have a good time...

we went back to our room. or should i say, our suite...

...because some friends of ours gifted us with a week at their time share in las vegas. it was beautiful! it was just off the end of the strip, so it was still quick to get to the places we needed to get to, but it was out of the hustle and bustle of las vegas on the eve of st. patrick's day! it had a beautiful view of the outskirts of the city from the balcony. and it had hgtv, which turned out to be a good thing, because i spent a lot of time in front of the tv, working on a special project for diandra...

...which i will blog about later. because i have decided that this is going to be "anniversary week" on my blog. i thought i could write one blog about the preparations and one about the wedding and be done. then i started deciding what photos i wanted to use, and it quickly became apparent that i was either going to have to cut down the number of pictures i was going to post or increase the number of blogs.

i chose to increase the number of blogs. because, the pictures are just too, too beautiful to not include them all. well, not all of them, because i am pretty sure more than 1000 pictures were actually taken, but all of my favorites. well, not even all of my favorites. i have lots of favorites!

last year at this time i was overwhelmed--diandra was getting married, rollie had changed jobs, we needed to find a new house and move... my brain was on overload. and so i didn't blog this important event as it happened. which is too bad, because i am sure i have forgotten so many funny or interesting details. but at least i have the pictures. and really, the pictures tell the story...yes, there is definitely more to come :)

government intervention strikes again!

so today . . . i was a fashion faux pas. i blame the u.s. government...

i don't know whose brilliant idea it was to move daylight savings time to the second weekend of march, but they should be forced to live in the dark until the end of april. i'm serious. i know the idea is to shift time so that people will use less energy, but if you have to get up for work before 8:00 a.m. (which is true of almost everyone with a job!) you are going to have to use your lights in the morning anyway, so i don't see how that is saving any electricity!!!

clearly i am a bit frustrated by the government's intrusion into my mornings...

i don't like to get up in the morning. ever! well, except for christmas morning, but other than that, mornings are not my happy time. i especially hate getting up IN THE DARK! the dark was made for sleeping, not for getting up. my eyes do not want to open unless the sun is fully visible. the best thing about our new house? the dimmer switch in our bathroom! it allows me to see without the light screaming at my eyeballs. so it should go without saying that if there is any ambient light at all in my room in the morning, i am not going to be turning on any lights. especially since i shouldn't have to! because it should be light enough at 7:30 in the morning not to require the use of any electricity!!!

which there was. last week. before daylight savings time.

last week, when i was cleaning out my closet and organizing things into my new dresser, i sorted my tights and belts by color--black, brown, gray--and put each color in it's own drawer... in alphabetical order, from the left. because how else would you do it?!?! so this morning, since i was wearing a navy dress with brown shoes and a brown sweater, i decided brown tights would be the right choice. i went to the second drawer from the left (the brown drawer,) and picked out a pair of tights, and got dressed. i looked in the mirror before i left my room, and everything seemed to be ok, so off i went to work...

... and everything was fine until my break. because during my break i went to use the bathroom. and that's when i realized that my tights weren't brown. they were black.

yes, i was wearing black tights with a navy dress and brown shoes. black tights. it was so, so wrong...

how could this have happened, i wondered. i got the tights out of the brown drawer, didn't i? maybe i didn't. maybe i had accidentally (since my eyes were only half open,) accessed the black drawer. but still, wouldn't i have noticed the color difference when i looked in the mirror? yes, i would have, if there had been enough light for me to actually SEE the colors i was wearing! and why wasn't there enough light for me to see??? stupid daylight savings time, that's why!

i read fashion magazines. i watch tv. i live in l.a., for pete's sake, so i either have to have a clue about what looks good or die! i know that "color blocking" is the trend this spring, but i am pretty sure that color blocking does not mean a navy dress, brown shoes, and black tights! i am not adverse to mixing colors in unusual ways--like navy and brown, or turquoise and yellow, or lime green and orange. i even like black and brown together. but black, brown and navy? i don't think so...

remember the chipped pink nail polish? yeah, well, this was way worse. waaaay worse, because i could sort of hide the chipped pink nail polish. there was no way to hide my legs. one of my facebook friends asked if i had taken the tights off when i noticed. no. no, i did not. it was cold today, so i was stuck. apparently being the "what not to wear" model for the week is better than freezing to death...

which would not have been an issue if there had been adequate light in my bedroom at 7:30 this morning. which there would have been if someone, somewhere hadn't decided that they could play fast and loose with the beginning of daylight savings time. which clearly isn't saving any electricity anyway!

i'll show them. tomorrow morning i am going to turn on the lights! from the time i get up at 7:30 until i leave the house at 7:50! i'll use all the electricity i can!! daylight savings time will not save any electricity in my house...

... and maybe i'll double check the color of my tights... just to be safe.

the swap meet strikes again!

so today . . . i learned a few things.

1. i prefer mediterranean ocean views to hawaiian ocean views.

2. all palm trees are not the same. some palm trees look like they are coming to eat me.

3. rollie likes paintings of red poppies (yay!)

4. i am a terrible judge of space and size. (and age and weight, but those two aren't really relevant to today's blog.)

5. i need to drink more water.

every saturday morning rollie plays basketball at the church. he leaves early and usually gets home between 10:00 and 11:00. most saturdays this works great for me! i sleep in and just take it easy. but every once in a while, i get this urge to go do something fun. and today, my urge to go do something fun just happened to coincide with a non-basketball saturday for rollie and our need for some new artwork...

that, of course, meant just one thing. orange county swap meet, baby!

we have lived in our new house for seven months now, and there is nothing hanging on our walls. nothing. the furniture is all in place. the boxes are all emptied (well, except for the book boxes--i need to get a bookcase.) we are all settled in. except that there is nothing on the walls.

when we moved, i decided i didn't just want to hang everything back up. we've been looking at the same photos and artwork for the last 20 years, and i decided it was time for a change. so i put all those photos and decorative items into boxes and spent the last seven months looking at blank walls. and that has been ok, but it feels like spring is just around the corner, and that always makes me feel like prettying things up.

in the past, our walls have mostly been decorated with photos. i love photos! but it seems like once i frame a photo and hang it up, it's place is secured until the end of time. i've heard that there are people who actually change the photos on their walls occasionally, but i am not one of those people. once a photo is up, i can only add to the arrangement. i cannot take it down. the result of this sort of thinking is that my walls become "cluttered" with photographs.

i've worked really hard to get rid of stuff and keep our new house clean and clutter-free. it just feels calmer to me that way. cleaning now trumps cuteness. i watch all these shows on hgtv where they come in and redo rooms for people, and they always look beautiful! but now i look at all the stuff they "stage" and think, "who is going to dust all of that after the designers leave?!?" i am done with dusting stuff just because it is cute. i hate to dust! so my solution is not to clutter up every horizontal surface with things that require me to dust them.

this also goes for wall art. i love a good collage wall, but that means a lot of frames that have to be dusted and glass that needs to be cleaned. instead, i've decided bigger is better. bigger means less dusting! bigger means less confusing to the eye. bigger means i feel calmer.

but there is a limit...

our goal today was a nice big picture to hang in our bedroom. for the last ten years, our bed has had a window behind it, but now there is this big, blank wall. we have a vaulted ceiling in that room, and it is a large room, so i thought a nice large painting would be perfect. i've tried to give that room a calm and peaceful feeling, so we have light yellow walls, driftwood colored furniture and white trim. this decor screamed out for a beachy picture. i was thinking ocean, sand, and palm trees. and then we started actually looking at paintings...

i discovered that i hated the palm tree beach pictures. i didn't know why, i just rejected all of them. i was saying things like, "the colors are too vibrant," or "it looks too fake," or "it looks like a picture from a calendar," or "no huts with thatched roofs!" and then there were the snakey, carnivorous palm trees. they looked like they were coming to get me. they looked like if i didn't run fast enough, they would eat me for lunch! they were my worst nightmare!! i couldn't have those things hanging right above me as i slept... or i shoud say, as i tried to sleep!

this surprised me! i love palm trees!! but i was not loving the palm tree pictures...

what i was loving were the pictures of the mediterranean ocean views. we had the good fortune to visit santorini in greece several years ago, and there were some paintings of that location. i really loved those paintings! they were calm and serene, and they reminded me of how much we enjoyed that trip. the problem was, i have a small painting that we bought when we were in greece of santorini, so it seemed like two pictures so similar might be too much.

as we were flipping through all the paintings, we found one of red poppies. i love red poppies! (actually, it would be more accurate to say that i love pictures of red poppies. in person, i'm not such a fan. but show me any group of paintings, and if there are red poppies, that is probably going to be my favorite.) "i love those red poppies!" i said to rollie. "well," he replied, "they are the state flower of california." "really?" i said, "i guess i did not know that. they are just so happy looking." "yes," he said, "i like them too!" this was news to me. i didn't think rollie would be all that enthusiastic about any flower pictures, but he liked the poppies! we quickly decided that the poppies would be perfect in our living room, over the brown couch which will one day be a cool and stylishly sleek red leather couch. i hope.

we were making progress, just not in the direction we had planned. now we had a painting that we weren't even looking for, and we still didn't have one for the spot we needed. we looked and looked and looked, and finally decided on a painting of the marina on catalina island. the colors were perfect for our room, but the painting was really large. we asked if they had a smaller one, but they didn't. that was ok though, because as i said, we have vaulted ceilings...

we walked back to our car, each carrying a painting. and then we got to the car. it's a prius. i was looking at the large painting and looking at the prius and thinking, "we are going to have to call someone with a pickup truck to get this painting home!" have i mentioned that i don't really know anyone with a pickup truck who would be willing to drive all the way out to costa mesa on a saturday afternoon to pick up a painting for me??

maybe i need some new friends. preferably ones with a pickup truck and no life...

rollie was saying, "oh, ye of little faith..." as he put the back seats down and got that big painting into the back of his prius.

ok, maybe i don't need any new friends as long as i have rollie and his prius...

we were all smiley all the way home. we had found not one, but two paintings that we both loved! we were so excited to get them home and get them hung up. we brought them into the house and i propped the poppies up on the back of the couch, just to see how they were going to look. they were perfect!

then we went upstairs to hang the picture of catalina. and that's when the trouble began...

"it's going to be too big," i said. "it isn't going to fit! we are going to have to take it back!!" "let's just get it unwrapped and see," said my calm rational husband. "ok," i said, "but i can tell that it is too big." we unwrapped it and held it up where we wanted to hang it. yep. it was too big.

how could this be?!? it fit in the prius!! how could it not fit on the wall?!?! and what if we couldn't take it back? why hadn't i measured the space? or the painting?? i was getting a little bit panicky.

rollie was not. because even though it wasn't fitting in the space we had, it was close. so we started shifting things around, and we finally got it hung. (that is the short version. the long version included moving the bed several times, taking the 6" risers out from under the legs of the bed, and carrying the painting around the room to see if we had other options. this was all done by rollie, while i stood back and gave my opinion. and then of course, we ended up right back where we started. there are days when you don't want to be married to me...)

our house is starting to show some personality. when you walk into our living room, now it looks like people live here, not just like it is a storage room for furniture. and while that giant painting in the bedroom is a little overpowering right now, i do love it. and i think when i get some smaller things up on the rest of the walls, it will balance out.

at least i don't feel like it is going to eat me!

on a side note... one of the things i was looking for today at the swap meet were seat covers for my car. it sits in the sun with the top down sometimes, and i am worried about the fabric seats fading. there were lots of people selling seat covers, but these are the ones rollie thought i should get.do i even need to tell you what i thought about that??? i didn't think so...

indecision strikes again...

so today . . . was the big day. the day everyone was waiting for. the day... when apple was expected to announce a new ipad.

would it be the same size? would they finally add flash player? or a usb port? would it be more expensive? faster? smaller? bigger? lots of speculation was out there, but today was the day we would finally know the truth.

look at what i've become...

i knew the announcement was set for 10:00 pacific time. thank goodness i live in pacific time! i searched online until i found someone who was actually at the event and was giving real time updates about what was happening. and then i waited to see what the future was going to be...

you would think i own apple stock...

i have this love/hate relationship with apple. i've always been a pc person, but last year i started down apple's slippery slope when i became a somewhat reluctant iphone4 owner. the ipad followed a few months later. and now, i seem to live for apple updates.

but it's complicated. my apple products are sleek and cool, but they aren't perfect. and they are expensive!! and so i go back and forth about whether to stay with my istuff or start looking at the android devices. i'm sure android devices aren't perfect either. and it would be another os for me to try to figure out. but apple is just so darned arrogant! i hate that!! and yet i love my istuff...

i've been having issues with my ipad. i've been to the genius bar at the apple store 3 or 4 times in the last couple of months. (have i mentioned how much i hate the apple store?!?! oh my goodness! it is a nightmare! it is always packed with people, and i don't know how they sell stuff--there aren't any cash registers or cashiers! just a bunch of 12 year olds wandering around in blue tshirts with iphones in their pockets and ipads in their hands.) i'm beginning to wonder if it is a hardware problem. this has started me thinking about an upgrade, which is why i was so tuned in to the big announcement today!

of course, the big news was the resolution of the new screen. it is apparently amazing, which i will never know unless i brave the apple store, because the screen i am viewing the new ipad on doesn't have the gazillions of pixels that the new one has. the new ipad (yes, that is what they are calling it, at least for now,) also has a much better camera. but really, who runs around taking photographs with their ipad??? i suppose if it were ever necessary to take photos with your ipad, it would be nice to have a good camera, but that is certainly not enough of an incentive for me to consider an upgrade. it is faster. four times faster, apparently. but unless you are a gamer or do video editing stuff, i'm not sure the faster speed would make that much difference...

... and yet i keep coming back to that screen. i spend a lot of time looking at my ipad every day, and to be honest, i would love, love, love that screen. i'm sure of it. so i'm looking at the prices, and i'm contemplating what i could sell my current ipad for, and i'm thinking maybe it is doable. and i am loving apple for making that beautiful screen available...

... and then apple cuts me off at the knees. because while they haven't raised the prices on their new ipad, they have cut the price on the ipad2 by $100! great. in a matter of minutes, my ipad is worth $100 less than it was yesterday! how could they do that to me?? how could they just take $100 right out of my hands??? don't they understand my economics?

now i sort of hate apple. i decide i am not giving them one more cent of my hard-earned money. i am just going to keep the ipad i have, which is perfectly capable of frustrating me, albeit at a much slower speed than the new one. and really, what will the new one do that mine won't? really not that much...

but it would sure look pretty doing it...

stop it! i hate apple. no new devices for me!!

and then, apple offers an apology. they release a new os, ready to go today. all those people getting new ipads have to wait and wait and wait until at least next weekend for their new and improved ipad, but i can get my new os today!

ok, apple, i accept your apology, but i still don't love you. you've annoyed me one time too many. what's that? you have something else for me? a new photo program that will finally do everything i've been looking for? and it only costs $4.99? and i can get it later today?? TODAY???

ok, fine. i love you again.

the only problem is, now that i have that great photo program, i might really need that high resolution screen on which to view my photos.

well played, apple, well played.

i think i'm going to need some new shirts... red ones, with an "A"

so today . . . rollie went a little crazy.

rollie is not the one in our family who goes a little crazy. i go a little crazy. diandra has been known to go a little crazy. even the dogs go a little crazy! (ok, the dogs go a little crazy all. the. time!) but not rollie. rollie is the calm, rational one...

well, we can't say THAT anymore!

this afternoon, i got this text from my calm, rational husband--"i am at angels stadium trying to get tickets to take mike to a game on may 28." ok, this was not exactly news to me. mike's birthday is really close to rollie's, and the last couple of years they have gone to an angels game to celebrate. even though mike has moved a few hours north, i knew they had been discussing trying to make it happen again this year. so why he was texting me this information was a mystery... unless he was standing in a long line with nothing to do... which seemed highly improbable to me... how could there be a long line for tickets when the season doesn't even open for another month? apparently i don't understand the fervor of angels fans. yet.

and then i got this text--"how would you feel about season tickets?"

HOW WOULD I FEEL ABOUT SEASON TICKETS?!?!?! ARE YOU INSANE????? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SEASON TICKETS PROBABLY COST???????

that's what i was thinking. that is not what i texted back. because the truth is, i love to go to angels games. and even though i knew it definitely was not in the budget, i wasn't quite ready to kill the dream just yet. so, being the supportive wife that i am (stop laughing!!) i merely said, "why? are they making you an offer you can't refuse?" and he said, "i'm not to the window yet. i was just wondering."

rollie was standing in line at angels stadium, contemplating season tickets. the only thing i can compare it to is when i am in the shoe department at nordstrom rack. it's like, suddenly everything seems possible...

we continued to debate, by text, what to do. this is something we had sort of talked about possibly doing one day... i just didn't think today was that day. so i said, "well, it wouldn't hurt to check it out, but don't get them today! you need to think about this. if we do it, there will have to be budget trade-offs i'm sure." what i didn't say was, "and i'm not sure i am willing to go without home improvements, a vacation, or food, to make it happen!"

he finally got up to the ticket booth and told them he wanted two seats for the may 28th game. the ticket seller clicked around on her computer and said, "i only have two seats left for that game." ONLY TWO SEATS LEFT FOR A GAME THAT IS ALMOST THREE MONTHS AWAY?!?! "and," she continued, "they are in the very back row, clear out in center field, and the view is obstructed by a pole."

ok, now this was a problem. who is going to want to sit in those seats? certainly not rollie and mike for their birthdays! so after waiting in line for 45 minutes, rollie got out of line...

... and went in search of the season ticket office. (i choose to think that at this point, he was following my advice to just check it out. i choose to think that he had not yet made the decision to actually buy season tickets. i may be wrong, but let me just live with my delusions...) he walked in and was greeted with, "do you have an appointment?" you need an appointment to buy season tickets? really?? he obviously didn't have an appointment, but they allowed him to wait for the first available season ticket seller. when he was finally seated in the conference room, the season ticket seller said, "so, what do you want out of your season tickets?"

what kind of a question is that?!? if we are going to get season tickets, we want a world series win! duh!!

but rollie handled the question with a bit more tact than that, and said, "well, i have a budget..."

something you may not know about rollie is that he is a hoarder. i know, i know, you thought i was the one who was in danger of being buried by my stuff, but rollie is a hoarder too--he just hoards something a little smaller than most of my stuff. he hoards $20 bills. whenever he can, he puts $20 bills in a stack somewhere (somewhere where i can't find them, obviously!) he calls this his fun money. he saves it in hopes of some day taking a dive trip somewhere or skydiving or something else he thinks would be ridiculously fun that isn't in the budget. i think he also dips into it when we go to the swap meet or the outlet mall. but the truth is, he hasn't had time to do a lot of fun things in the last year, so his fun money stash has been growing...

the season ticket seller went to work. they discussed his choices. they went into the stands and checked out the best options. he sent me a picture of what our view of the baseball diamond would be. and in the end, he signed on the dotted line.

my calm, rational husband went a little crazy.

so we are season ticket holders for the angels, at least for this year. rollie is deliriously happy. if he was the sort of person to make a bucket list, this would definitely be on it. and i'm happy, because he is happy. and let's not forget that since he is married to me, i am pretty sure i am going to be sitting right next to him for most of those games :) he has assured me that this will not affect our budget at all. we will still have food to eat. my home improvement projects will not suffer. we may even still get to go on some kind of vacation...

... although, now that we have 82 games to attend, our vacation may have to wait until after the world series...

... because, you know, a world series win was part of the deal... wasn't it?