to help or not to help...

so today . . . i am beginning to see why people will spend a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of toms shoes--aside from the humanitarian reasons...

i am not a fan of toms shoes. i know that for every pair of shoes they sell, they donate a pair to a needy child. and i admire that. but if we really want to put shoes on children's feet, maybe instead of buying a 38th pair of shoes for ourselves, we should donate the money and give several pairs of shoes to needy children! besides they are ugly--the shoes, not the children.

diandra, however, is a fan. she got her first pair several months ago. they were olive green, and she raved about how comfortable they were. she wore them all the time. then she bought a gold pair to wear when she shoots weddings. and then a black pair for their versatility.

and three lucky children got new shoes. yay!!!

but toms shoes are ugly. they come in a myriad of colors, but the style is always the same--pieced canvas uppers in a squarish shape with a thin rubbery sole. they are not cute or stylish. they are plain and flat. and i'll bet a huge percentage of people under the age of 30 have more than one pair...

diandra's black pair finally got dirty enough that she decided they should be washed. i didn't know they could be washed, and i admit i was a little uneasy tossing them into the washing machine. but they looked ok when they came out, and i thought they were fine. until today.

today diandra said, "mom, i need you to do something for me." i did not immediately say ok, because "something" covers a very broad range of tasks. so instead i said, "oh?" that is my standard non-committal reply. "yes," she said, "i need you to wear these shoes for me."

my first thought? YAY!! because i have been the happy recipient of more than one pair of boots from my darling daughter. and not just boots--my favorite jeans came from her, as well as several tops and jackets that she no longer wanted. in fact, i could probably just "shop" in her closet and never have to go to the mall again...

then she said, "when we washed these black tom's shoes, i think they shrunk a little bit and now they are too tight for my feet. but if you wear them..." and now i am thinking, "ok, i am going to have my own pair of ugly tom's shoes," but she continued, "... then they will stretch out a bit, and then i can wear them and they will be fine!" oh.

talk about a roller coaster of emotions...

i put the shrunken canvas shoes on my feet, and they fit me perfectly. and i was surprised to find that they were very comfortable--lightweight uppers and cushy inside. but they were still ugly. there is no way to get around that--no matter how comfortable they are, they are still ugly.

and yet, they are starting to grow on me. i've been wearing them around all evening, you know, just to help diandra out. i find that i like the way they feel on my feet. they are comfortable. they are flexible. they almost feel like i'm not wearing any shoes at all! i'm thinking that maybe if i attached a rhinestone pin to add a little pizazz... because, you know, if they don't stretch out enough, then they will be too tight for diandra...

maybe the olive green ones need to be washed as well.

;)

timing is everything!

so today . . . i was schooled! out maneuvered! intellectually smacked down!

by a cute little five year old girl. in curls. and twinkle toes . . .

i finally wore my twinkle toe sneakers to school yesterday. yes, out of the house. i did not make this move recklessly. oh no i did not . . . i actually went back to the store a fifth time and bought another pair of shoes a half size larger. i brought them home. i tried them out. they flopped. i tried them with different kinds of socks. they still flopped. i tried the smaller shoes. they didn't flop, but they were a little snug. after much testing, i came to the conclusion that there was no way i could make the larger pair work. if i wanted these incredibly cute shoes, i was just going to have to keep the smaller ones and hope they stretched out a bit.

so the decision was made. to seal the deal, i wore them to school yesterday and returned the larger pair to the store during my lunch hour. i wore them all day. by the time i got home, i was ready to take them off and let my toes wiggle free! but it was ok--the shoes looked too cute for words, and my feet survived.

today, two little girls wore their twinkle toe sneakers to school. when i saw the first pair, it had laces, and i thought, "wow! why didn't they put laces on the adult shoes? why did they have to make them slip ons?" then the second little girl came in, curls bouncing (yes, here it comes . . . ) "look at my shoes, teacher!" she said. "i have twinkle toes too!" her mother came in behind her, shaking her head. "she said she HAD to wear those shoes today. she has never worn them before, but today she HAD to wear them, because ms. julie had twinkle toes on yesterday."

i am pretty sure the mom did not think i had really worn twinkle toes yesterday. i am pretty sure she thought no one over the age of eight would wear them! i am pretty sure of this because of the way she looked at me when i assured her that yes, i had worn twinkle toe sneakers to school yesterday.

pretty soon i heard that same little girl say, "i am going to ask my mom to get me some shoelaces for these shoes--sparkly ones!" and my adult mind said, "that is a crazy idea! she doesn't need shoelaces. those are slip on shoes! what will she do with shoe laces?!?"

and that's when it hit me! shoe laces! duh!!

because even though the style of my shoes were designed to be slip-ons, they had holes for shoe laces. i could have bought sparkly shoe laces, laced those bigger shoes up, tied them tightly, and they wouldn't have flopped on my feet! they would have been perfect!!

it was a brilliant idea--conceived by a five year old girl who wanted just a little more bling in her life. really, a girl after my own heart. and without even thinking about it, she had solved the problem that had puzzled me for days!! DAYS, i tell you!!! shoelaces. why didn't i think of that. it was just the solution i needed . . .

. . . IF i still had the larger sized shoes. and IF i hadn't already worn the smaller ones all day yesterday. if only i had procrastinated just one or two more days . . .

sometimes i think the cosmos is mocking me . . .

new-shoe-ophobia

so today . . . i got new shoes!

i don't remember a lot about my childhood (maybe because it was so long ago,) but one vivid memory i have is brand new white patent leather shoes in my easter basket. (this picture is not from the year i remember--it is a couple of years earlier. but notice the white patent leather shoes?) i don't know that brand new white patent leather shoes showed up in my easter basket every year, but i specifically remember one year when they did. i think i was in kindergarten. i don't remember the easter dress, even though i am sure there was one, but those white patent leather shoes sitting in my easter basket on the kitchen table pop into my head every year in late february when the cadbury eggs show up at walmart.

today i bought new shoes, and i love them. but i am afraid to wear them.

there, i've said it. i am always afraid to wear new shoes. this fear comes from knowing that once i wear them out of the house, they are non-returnable.

you know i am indecisive. you know if i see something i like, i tend to buy two. you know i don't like to spend more than $20 for anything. so for me, shopping is an extreme sport, because i might like something now, but what if i see something i like better tomorrow? or what if i get it home, and it doesn't look good with anything else i have? or what if i change my mind? it could happen. it has happened. and so i need the security of knowing i can return an item if i want to--for any reason.

but shoes are not like any other type of clothing. they need to fit perfectly in order to be comfortable, and sometimes you cannot tell that by putting them on your feet and walking around the store for a few minutes. they may feel perfectly fine in the store, but then at 10:00 a.m. at school they might be killing my feet! and yet, there is no way to know if that is what will happen until i wear them to school--at which point i cannot return them because i have worn them.

a terrible catch-22.

i have had to donate several pairs of barely worn shoes to charity. shoes that were so cute that either i talked myself into thinking they were comfortable, or they really were--until i wore them for more than 15 minutes. sometimes i hang onto them with a hope that one day, i will put them on and they will magically feel great. but this never happens . . .

which brings us to today. i saw these shoes a few days ago online, but they were $30--too expensive for school. then yesterday we went to the skechers outlet, and they had them for $20 AND buy one pair, get the second pair half off--which works great for me, since i like to buy two of everything. but i couldn't make a decision, and rollie was with me and had already looked around the store and said, "i'll meet you at the car." so i came home without them.

but i thought about them, and this morning i went back. i was there for an hour! and i already knew what i wanted!! these are not regular tennis shoes. they don't tie--they are slip-ons, and so they felt different on my feet. i texted my friend jessica, who has a similar style shoe (although, without the lovely sparkly toes,) and asked her about how they should fit. taking her advice, i bought the smaller pair.

but now i am sitting here at home, looking at my cute new shoes, and wondering if they are the right size. because they are kind of tight, and i'm worried they will hurt my feet if i wear them for a long time. but jessica said they will loosen up. she said i just need to wear them. but i can't wiggle my toes--and my feet tend to be claustrophobic if i can't wiggle my toes. but then, i look at the sparkly toes and think i don't care how they feel! i'm keeping them!! they are too beautiful! my feet can just deal with it! but if they are too uncomfortable, i won't wear them, and that will be $10 down the drain! and then i think, JULIE! IT IS JUST $10! WEAR THE SHOES!!! but in these difficult economic times, i think $10 is a lot--especially since it is almost summer.

(aren't you glad you don't live in my head.)

so i guess i will put them on and wear them around the house this weekend, and see what happens. i could always go back and get the larger size . . .

but not if i wear them to church tomorrow :)

maybe the boy has a dog . . .

so today . . . i handed out the seatwork to my kindergarten students, and then went back to my desk to give them time to do a little bit of work before we started reading groups. soon eugene was standing in front of me with one of his papers. "yes?" i asked him. "can i help you?"

"this is weird," he said. "why is he wearing shoes in the house?"

huh? "i don't understand. what do you mean? who?"

"look! he is wearing shoes in the house!" so i looked at the paper he was holding, and sure enough, the little boy was wearing shoes. in the house.

this is the seventh year i have taught kindergarten at my current school using this particular curriculum, and this is the first time anyone has noticed that the boy is wearing shoes in the house--probably because that really isn't the focus of the picture. we have had discussions about his choice of toys, we have had discussions about him smiling while picking up his toys, we have even had discussions about if they should use crayons or markers to color it. but no one has ever noticed the shoe thing before.

"yes he is," i said. "some people do."

eugene persisted--"but why?" so i replied with the only logical answer i could think of. "to keep their feet warm," i said. eugene thought for a minute and then told me, "we don't--do you?"

now i am not quite sure what to say. because we do wear our shoes in the house, but clearly at eugene's house they don't, and that seems normal to him. if i tell him that i keep my shoes on when i am inside, will it be the beginning of a rebellion in his five year old mind? will he go home and refuse to remove his shoes, because "teacher ms. julie wears her shoes in the house."

(you may think i have a somewhat inflated view of my importance, but trust me, i don't. it is almost scary how these kids remember things that i have said, and then act on them. i try to use my powers only for good--like telling them that i don't watch scary movies and that peas are delicious and that i always feel better after i take a nap--implying that they should avoid scary movies, eat their peas, and sleep during naptime. but they seem to be more influenced by the fact that my favorite color changes every day, and that i like taylor swift songs, and that i wear skechers.)

so i sort of hedge my bets--"yes, i wear shoes in my house, but i have dogs."

eugene has fish, not dogs, so he accepts that explanation and heads back to his seat.

the truth is, we tried the shoes off thing after we had our carpets cleaned last time. we have really light cream colored carpeting in our house, and when they were done cleaning it, it looked so good! so we decided that if we would just take off our shoes in the house, it would stay nice looking longer. which may be true, but we didn't find out. because it wasn't long until we were back to wearing our shoes again. for us, it was just too much of a hassle. it seemed like usually when we came into the house, we were carrying books or computers or food. and that made it hard to stop and take off our shoes. and if we did, then we had to carry them upstairs to put them away, and then carry them back downstairs to put them on. and then we realized that the dogs weren't wiping their feet before they came in. and while their feet are small, between the two of them they have eight--and yes, there are more dog feet than people feet here!! so eventually we just stopped doing it.

i think if you have dogs, you have to wear your shoes in the house--especially if you also have a doggie door--because you never know what surprises may be lurking just around the corner. and there are some things you just don't want to find with your bare foot--even if it is wearing a sock! there are sticks. and leaves. and the water splashes from their water bowl. and milk bone crumbs. and bits of chewed up toilet paper tube. and plastic eyeballs they have removed from their stuffed animals. and the stuffing from the stuffed animals. and the occasional, but inevitable result of eating grass. and sometimes, when milo is really stressed, we will even find a dirty sock that he has liberated through the mesh of the laundry basket.

and then, of course, there is the dog hair.
times two!!

i am guessing that if you have fish, you do not have these issues. and so at eugene's house, they don't wear their shoes inside.

but i do. because unexpectedly stepping on a soggy chewed up toilet paper tube in your bare feet is not something you want to experience more than once. or ever!

trust me.

caution! girly, shoe shopping blog ahead!!

so today . . . i was once again ambushed by sparkly things.

i can't seem to help myself. this evening i went to burlington coat factory, a nice practical store. i went all by myself, because my usual shopping compadre (diandra) is a bad influence on me when i am shoe shopping--or really any shopping at all, and i had a mission: buy black or gray boots--flat ones.

without going into all the reasons why i need them (you can thank me later,) i was hopeful i would find something at burlington coat factory. usually when i go there, i find my arms full of wonderful things that i must then narrow down to what i really "need." but tonight my mission was not to be completed.

i was saboutaged. by sparkly things.

here's the problem--i need the flat boots, but i want fancy dress-up ones with impossibly high heels. and when i go to look for the practical, comfortable boots i need, i have to go into the section of the store that they share with the fancy, girly, high-heeled boots. this is further complicated by the fact that i cannot find the type of boots i am looking for, so i am forced, forced i say, to try on the "yeah, i am just that cool" boots.

burlington coat factory was not the first store i tried. last week i went to ross. i looked through the terribly messy shoe section for flat boots, but had no luck. well, depending on how you define luck. i did find a pair of shoes, and a pair of those fancy, girly, high-heeled boots i mentioned before--neither of which i needed. but they were so cute! and they were so affordable! and the boots even have this little metal detail on the bottom!! i was in love . . .

i confess. i bought them.
i put the boots on as soon as i got home, and suddenly realized there was a tiny little problem. while they were surprisingly comfortable, i couldn't really walk in them. well, i could, but it was with that awkward gait that i mock in all the prom girls. the heels were so high that it was hard to pick my feet up enough to set them down smoothly, so i walked with these little mincing, flat-footed steps. i took them off and decided they had to go back. but i kept thinking about how cute they were . . . and about the silver bow on the sole of the boot (which, btw, is an actual silver metal bow that is attached to the sole--not just stamped on!). . . and thought, maybe i could learn to walk in them . . .

but i still needed flat gray or black boots--and so, the trip to burlington coat factory.

as soon as i walked in the door, i knew i was in t.r.o.u.b.l.e. there was a display of shiny, sparkly, beaded evening bags right inside the door. there were the usual black, silver, and gold bags, but mixed in were a red one and a brown one and a steel blue one and several white ones--and they all sparkled!!

i don't need a sparkly evening bag. or perhaps i should say, i don't need another sparkly evening bag. the truth is, i have several. i even have one my mom gave me that is completely constructed out of sparkles!! and yet those bags called to me . . . i stood there for 20 minutes admiring them, holding them, opening them, and comparing them as if i was going to buy one. but i wasn't--at least i didn't think i was going to . . .

flat boots. flat boots. flat boots. put down the sparkly bags and go the the shoe department.

to get to the shoe department, i had to walk past the handbags and the racks and racks of women's clothes. i guess i could have gone the long way around, through the men's department, but i didn't. by then the mantra was strong in my head--flat boots. flat boots. flat boots.

i got to the shoe department only to discover that the boots were all gone, replaced by lovely spring shoes :) ooooohh, yippee!!

NOOOO!!! flat boots. flat boots. flat boots.

i went to the clearance rack, thinking that must be where all the boot remants from "winter" had gone. once again i was disappointed. the only flat boots i found were a lovely shade of purple--which i loved, but that was not why i was there!! flat black boots. flat gray boots. and then i saw these . . .again, not why i was there. "but look how cute they are! and they are black AND brown--ok, gold-- which means i can wear them with anything. and they open and close with a zipper, so no buckles or ties to deal with. and i could wear them with dresses or pants or skinny jeans . . . " and so it goes, in my head. i decided to try them on. "they're not really my size, so they probably won't fit," i thought. but they did. and they were comfortable.

and had those really high heels and a not so affordable price.

you will be pleased to know that i showed some self control and left the store empty handed. although not without playing with the sparkly evening bags one more time. the brown one almost wrestled me to the floor and demanded to come home with me. after all, i don't have a brown evening bag . . .

but really, where would i even use an evening bag? it isn't like i am getting an invitation to walk the red carpet. i'm not even standing in line outside the studio to get into a dr. phil taping! i have absolutely no use for a sparkly evening bag! and if the occasion does arise, i already own four!

but i dream of dressing up in sparkly shoes and a sparkly dress and carrying a sparkling evening bag and going . . . i have no idea where.

this is my problem. i teach kindergarten during the week. on the weekends i do laundry and go to the movies and clean out my closet. on sundays i go to church in our alternative service where jeans are the clothing of choice. i would never spend the kind of money for dinner that one would have to spend to wear party clothes, and would be horrified if rollie did it (don't do it rollie--i'm serious!! i would be totally uncomfortable!) and yet i confess that i do own a few party dresses, and more than one pair of sparkly shoes, and those evening bags.

maybe rollie should run for president. i could be the first lady and wear pearls all the time and go to fancy dress-up balls. i could blind heads of state all over the world with my sparkly attire. my agenda could be "make everything shine!"

i think i might need that brown evening bag after all!

storm watch. 2010. day 2.

so today . . . it rained some more. really, really, really hard. and there was thunder and lightning too!

but it didn't start out that way. when i looked out the window this morning, it was mostly cloudy, but it was those smooth, high, white clouds with a tiny bit of blue peeking through. hmm. maybe that dumb jet stream had settled back into it's normal path and was sending the rain to washington or oregon where it belonged!

but just in case, a shoe decision had to be made. they were still predicting rain, which kind of affects footwear choices. i looked in my closet. bad news. my closet is filled with shoes--suede shoes, canvas shoes, open toe shoes, high heeled shoes--none of which were going to keep my feet toasty warm and dry. the best thing i could come up with were my black "ugg" boots. (notice the quotation marks--because real ugg boots are just slightly beyond my budget. but my boots are made from real suede, and i thought if cows can wear it in the rain . . . )

AND it was cold enough for the new sweater i got for christmas to finally see the light of day. it is big and soft and cozy, and i felt like i was wearing a snuggie all day--except i didn't trip over it!

when i got to school, i could see through my tiny little windows near the ceiling--yeah, my classroom is in a basement--that as the morning wore on, it was getting darker outside. and then, about noon, the rain began . . . gigantic drops were flung from the sky! the ground was soon flooded! the storm drains couldn't keep up! there was thunder. there was lightning. there was even a tornado warning!! i was thinking, where are we? kansas?!?!?!

since it is tuesday, rollie brought me lunch. he even braved the storm and went into an actual restaurant for food (well, panda express) instead of going through a drive-through. and then he parked in the closest parking space to the door of my school. he texted me, "wow. thunder. lightning. heavy rain. feels like oregon. be sure to wear something on your head when you come." thank goodness i had the sense to wear my big, puffy coat with the hood--even though (gasp!) it didn't match my outfit. i raced from the school to the car, which probably took all of 10 seconds, and i was drenched! we sat in the car munching our orange chicken and watching everyone else slosh through the flood to get to their cars. we listened to the rain pound the roof, and watched for lightning. and then, we noticed that we couldn't hear the rain on the roof anymore, even though it was still raining. and then it stopped.

the clouds dissipated, the puddles drained, and the sun fought to shine. all in the half hour i call my lunch time . . .

i walked back into the school without my coat, collected my students and finished out the afternoon.

at the end of my day, when i took my kids over to the other building for chinese and spanish classes, i saw joshua--remember? from last year? and he said to me, "i love the rain." so we talked about the rain for a few minutes. and then i said, "do you know who does not like the rain? milo!" and i told him the story about how yesterday i had to go out into the backyard with my umbrella and stand out there with milo until he would finally poop. and how milo didn't want to be out there in the rain, but i made him stay out there, because i knew he had to go to the bathroom.

joshua just looked at me for a minute. and then he said, "don't you have a toilet in your house?"

i guess he had forgotten that milo is a dog . . .

the agony of making a return . . .

so today . . . i went to the mall. i couldn't believe how many people were still out spending money! or maybe they weren't. maybe, like me, they were just returning something.

on black friday i bought a pair of boots. i needed new boots this year--both black and brown--because the ones i had were pretty much worn out. so i started looking for new ones in september. but boots are expensive! and i am kind of cheap when it comes to buying clothes. so i had a problem.

and then, on black friday, when j.c. penney was crammed with bargain shoppers, i found a pair of boots. they weren't exactly what i wanted, but they were marked way down so they fell into my price range, and i decided they would be ok. diandra was not impressed. she tried to talk me out of them. but there was only one pair in my size . . . so i bought them.

when i buy new shoes, if i spend more than $10 i feel the need to wear them around the house for a while to be sure they are going to meet my comfort standards. (unless they are skechers--i can wear skechers right out of the store, because i KNOW i am going to love them! they are just that wonderful!!) but as you may recall, i got sick after thanksgiving and didn't really feel like wearing new boots around the house. so they sat there in their box, staring at me, waiting for a chance to come out and convince me that they were perfect. as christmas neared, i thought i might like to take them to portland with me, so finally put them on. and they were not perfect. i tried them with socks. i tried them with tights. i tried them with those little footies. but no matter what, they were just a bit too tight. but not so tight that a half size larger wouldn't be too big. and while they looked nice with dresses, they looked kind of weird with jeans. so there i was, still bootless.

we went to portland for christmas, and on the day after christmas we hit the mall again. as usual, we started out at j.c. penney. i went straight to the shoe department in hopes of finding an ok pair of boots. with winter being half over, i had given up on finding the perfect pair. i was now willing to settle for reasonably comfortable and not terribly ugly.

i found a pair that conformed to my lower standards, but again, diandra was not impressed.

diandra is my fashion barometer. it is her job to make sure that i don't buy something that makes me look too old or too young. once in a while i overrule her and end up with a result that surprises her, but usually she has a pretty good eye for what will work for me. since we still had several stores to visit, i bowed to her judgment and started out of the shoe department. bootless.

and then we saw them. the perfect boots.

they were tall. they had slightly rounded toes and slightly chunky heels. they had hidden platform soles (which would add to my height--and intimidation factor.) the "leather" was distressed. they came in both black and brown. and they had my size. and they were almost 70% off. AND there is no sales tax in oregon. game, set, and match!

i bought them. both pair.

which brings us to my trip to the mall today. because now i had to return the boots i bought on black friday. and i hate to return stuff. which is unfortunate, because almost every time i buy something i think, "well, if i change my mind (or if it doesn't match or it doesn't fit) i can always return it." and then my trunk fills up with things that need to be returned. and then when i do finally make my way to the customer service desk, i seem to feel the need to explain in great detail why i have to return the item. or how even though i am returning this thing i purchased, i replaced it with something even better (or more expensive) from the same store. so really, it isn't costing them anything. or how i shop there all the time, so even if i am not buying something else today, i will surely buy something soon that will make up for my return . . .

which is all a wasted effort, because the people at the customer service desk don't really care--as long as i have my receipt.

but since i do kind of feel this obligation, i always think it is better if instead of just returning something, i exchange it. so i spent a few minutes wandering around j.c. penney trying to find something else to buy. there was no shortage of stuff i would have liked to have, but i really didn't need any of it. and i sure didn't want to have to make another trip to return something else. so i finally just got in line and waited my turn.

and waited and waited. because apparently the guy who worked at customer service was in the bathroom or something. while the line behind me grew, with irritated customers.

when he finally returned to his cash register, he was a bit flustered. there was a long line of angry people waiting for their turn to make his life miserable. i was the first, although i had no interest in making him miserable--i just wanted to return the less-than-perfect boots (which, btw, i had replaced by buying two pairs of boots, also from j.c. penney. so i was on pretty solid ground, i thought.) i had my return story all ready to go. but he was in a hurry (probably expecting me to complain) and didn't seem open to a conversation. before i knew it, he had returned my money and was beckoning to the next person. i told him to have a nice day and walked away in a bit of a daze. it had all happened so fast. he didn't look at me like he thought i was trying to cheat the store. he didn't question me as to why i was returning something. he didn't inspect every inch of it looking for telltale evidence that it had been worn. he didn't even act like maybe i should think before i made a purchase. he just rang it up, handed me my money, and moved on.

so i am blogging about it. because really, this time i had such a good return story that somebody should hear about it! lucky you!!

they walk among us . . . kind of.

so today . . . i laughed right out loud. apparently iman thinks she is one of us.

i was watching shopping tv this afternoon. well, maybe not really watching it--i was laying on the couch trying to take a nap. i used to be able to fall asleep almost instantly, but now it seems that i have a hard time napping--no matter how tired i am. i lay there, but my brain won't shut off! so i have found that if i have some sort of "white noise" in the background, it distracts my brain just enough so that i can sleep. shopping tv or sports (but not golf--it is too quiet) seem to work really well. unless iman is on shopping tv.

iman is a supermodel. she is married to sting, the rock star. she is tall and beautiful and has an exotic accent. i love to listen to her talk, so i thought that would be a soothing sound to fall asleep to. once again, i was wrong.

the advantage of white noise is that it distracts your brain, but isn't distinct enough that it catches your attention. today iman caught my attention. she was selling a rolling duffel bag that she had apparently designed. it was a nice looking duffel bag. it had compartments and wheels and a telescoping handle and decorative hardware. it came with a make-up bag, a shoe bag, a luggage tag, and a lock and key. after describing all it's physical features, they started discussing how much you could fit into this bag. they were saying it was adequate for up to 10 days worth of clothes. (the key words here were "up to.") iman was saying how she has traveled all over the world with that bag, and how she doesn't like to wait for her luggage, so she needs an adequate carry-on bag.

i'm sorry, but i just do not believe a supermodel can pack everything she needs for several days in a carry-on duffel bag. even if she is a mom.

she continued by listing all the things she had packed in that bag. she had two pairs of boots (one tall, one short) five or six pairs of shoes, three pairs of pants, three jackets, tshirts, jeans, plus all her toiletries and hair products. and then she said, "everything i needed for my two day trip out here!"

did she just say two day trip?!?!?! that's a lot of shoes for a two day trip. i am thinking if she were going to be gone for ten days, she would need several of these duffel bags. and more than one shoe bag.

i understand the shoe thing--i really do. every summer when diandra and i go to portland, shoes are an issue. we are usually only gone a week, but it seems like i think i need ten pairs of shoes! i always have to take some out of my bag before i leave. so i understand the need for shoes. but seven or eight pair for two days?!?! even i think that is excessive.

and then she says, "and it fits so easily in the overhead compartment of an airplane."

really? in coach? because i am pretty sure she is flying first class. and while i have never flown in first class, i am guessing that their luggage compartments might be somewhat bigger than in coach, where the rest of us sit. plus, she is six feet tall! she can reach the luggage compartments. there is no way an average woman could sling that thing up into those compartments unassisted. especially with all those heavy shoes in there.

but it was really nice looking.

iman is not one of us. she probably doesn't have to check her bank balance before she uses her debit card. she probably doesn't have to vacuum. she probably doesn't have to go to the grocery store every week. she can wear a caftan to take her kids to school and people think she looks elegant, not like she is wearing her pajamas. and she certainly doesn't travel all over the world in coach!

but i am tempted to buy her rolling duffel bag anyway. because it looks roomy, and it is a beautiful piece of luggage.

although, i am going to need more than one shoe bag.

they were meant to be party shoes

so today . . . i wore my new shoes to school. it proved to be a bad decision.

but first, a disclaimer--if you are a guy reading this, it is going to make absolutely no sense to you. you do not have shoe issues. you either wear your athletic shoes or your work shoes. and you wear the athletic shoes with your jeans and the work shoes with your slacks. you do not have to make a shoe decision every day--only on casual fridays, when you have to decide if you want to wear your work shoes or your athletic shoes with your jeans . . .

i have a lot of shoes. i rarely make the decision of what to wear based upon the clothing i have. i choose either shoes or jewelry first, and then go from there. but we are having very weird weather right now, so i have to consider the clothing. today it was at least 85!! i know this, because i went to chick-fil-a for lunch, and i drove with the top down. and i found myself praying for a red light so i could take my lightweight sweater off, because i was starting to sweat. and i hate to sweat. so it is really hard to get dressed in the morning (especially when your brain doesn't fully function until 10:00.) what to wear, what to wear . . .

since it is november, i can't wear my summer clothes--it is just wrong! and yet it is over 80 degrees, so winter clothes are wrong too! my solution is layers, but they have to be lightweight layers that aren't summery. and tights. because even though it is hot, it is almost thanksgiving!!! today i went with a short-sleeved black jersey dress with turquoise accessories and a black & turquoise sweater. (and i know none of you cares at all what i was wearing, but it explains the shoes, which is what the blog is really about--i'm just not there yet.) this is the first time i have worn this outfit in the "fall," so i added black tights, and put on my black patent leather and suede skechers. i was comfortable, and ready to walk out the door. until i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

oh no no no no no.

the dress was too long to wear with tights and flat shoes--it made my cute skechers look like orthopedic nurse shoes. only in black.

ok, well there wasn't time to change my clothes, so i thought i would just change my shoes. i went to my closet and was faced with two black choices--ugg boots or sandals. and the clock was ticking . . .

i bought a new pair of shoes about a month ago. i knew fall was coming, and i needed a black pair of heels i could wear with tights. i thought i had found just what i was looking for at payless shoes, but i am kind of picky about my shoes being comfortable. usually i wear them at home a few times to be sure before i wear them out, and i hadn't had time to test the new shoes yet. but they felt comfortable when i put them on. and they were so cute. and they worked with the clothes i was wearing. so i decided to live dangerously--i slipped my feet into them and bolted for the door . . . even though a little voice in my head was saying, "wear the skechers . . . "

i should learn to listen to that little voice.

everything was fine, until i had been at school for about half an hour and realized that it might be my turn to do music today. these were definitely NOT shoes to do music in! i scrambled around and managed to dodge that bullet, but by lunch time my toes were starting to murmur a bit. i ignored them and went to lunch at chick-fil-a. this required walking to my car, in and out of the restaurant, and then from my car back into the school--all on very unforgiving pavement. my toes were starting to speak a bit more loudly. since i had an hour for lunch today, apparently i should have spent 15 minutes of that time at home, changing my shoes. but i had no idea how bad things were going to get . . .

during my prep time, i just took the shoes off. i try to avoid walking on the floor at school without shoes, or touching it with my hands, because you just never know . . . but today i didn't care. the tile in the workroom felt cool to my newly freed feet, and the half hour i spent there went by way too quickly. against their protests, i stuffed my toes back into the beautiful black shoes and finished out the afternoon.

and then, i realized i had to go to the grocery store. and not just any grocery store. costco.

i debated going home first, but i am already almost halfway to costco from school, so i decided to once again ignore my uncomfortable feet and just go.

i got a good parking space, grabbed a cart, and started down my list only to discover that the aisles had been rearranged! i don't know why stores do that!! how are you supposed to find anything! my feet and legs were starting to protest pretty loudly, so i started to sort of stretch out the muscles. as it turns out, not a good idea. the muscles started to cramp up. i envisioned myself writhing on the floor of costco--the cool concrete floor--and being unable to walk. someone would have to call 9-1-1. and i wouldn't be able to drive home, because i wouldn't be able to depress the clutch!

no no no no no. this could not happen.

i very s-l-o-w-l-y started relaxing the muscles, and managed to begin moving forward. i still had nothing in my cart. but i had made it to costco and survived threatening muscle cramps, so my tired feet and my new shoes and i walked up and down almost every aisle in costco until we had completed the shopping list, and then tried to get to the car without hobbling.

i just wanted to go home and dunk my feet and legs in hot water. but i still needed to go to one more grocery store. i almost skipped it, worried that i really would be unable to walk, but it is right by costco. so i parked the car, stood up tall, and walked in . . .

. . . only to discover that this store, too, had been rearranged.

i confess, i almost took my shoes off. the cool tiles were beckoning to me . . .

but i moved forward, got my groceries, and was finally on my way home. and noticed it was a beautiful evening. i drove home in the dwindling light, under the full moon, with the top down and the stereo playing, thinking about how much i love living where i live.

diandra heard me pull into the garage and came out to help carry in the groceries. needless to say, i remained shoeless. i said hi to rollie, put away the groceries, and then heard these words:

"so, are you ready to go get something to eat?"

i looked at my shoes, and seriously considered my answer . . .

me and james dean

so today . . . i was a rebel. i wore my red birkenstocks to school--yes, my "if i'm moving to california, i am buying birkenstocks" shoes.

i am one of those people who hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times before i can actually roll my body out of bed. the result is that i do not have much time in the morning to get ready for work--it is jumpintheshower, runacombthroughmyhair, slaponabitofmakeup, throwonclothes, grababagelandmycomputerbag, and careenoutofthedrivewaytowardschool. so i do not have time to make clothing decisions. but girl clothing requires decision making and as you know, i am terrible at making decisions. i can try on 4 different tops with a skirt, reject them all and the skirt too, and then grab a dress--because there are less decisions to be made with a dress. until i remember how cold my classroom can be when the a/c is blowing directly on me, so then i have to choose a sweater too. or maybe my denim jacket, because it goes with everything, or perhaps just a scarf will be enough . . .

but shoes are the worst. i want to be comfortable, but i'm not going to work in tennis shoes. that is where my beloved skechers come in. but some days the skecher look is just not right, and today was one of those. my choices were either my favorite pair of red patent leather high heeled steve madden open toed shoes or my red birkenstocks. i lovelovelove the red steve madden shoes, but i thought their appropriateness for school might be questionable. that left me with the red birkenstocks.

the red birkenstocks are comfortable and cute, and seemed like the obvious choice except for one small detail--they do not have a back on them.

buried deep in the employee handbook for my school is a paragraph requiring all teachers to wear shoes with a back on them. it is not a rule i am fond of, but i have adhered to it for the last five years (well, except for a few times when i have sneaked a pair of "clog" type shoes in under my pants.) i try not to complain too much, because i know some schools also decree that teachers cannot wear open-toed shoes, and at least we still have that option. but sometimes i chafe under this rule--especially when the perfect pair of backless shoes is staring out at me from my closet just begging to go to school . . .

recently i overheard someone say that i was a "people pleaser." this really bothered me, because i don't think that i am, and it bothers me that apparently that is how some people categorize me. i think of a people pleaser as being someone who is weak and easy to push around, someone who will do anything to make others happy, or to keep from rocking the boat--an "anything to get along" attitude. i'm not like that. i am nice. i am polite. i try to be kind and considerate to other people. i see no point in arguing, so i usually just don't. and i usually follow the rules, because i think that is the right thing to do. but not at any cost. i am a strong person with a mind of my own. i stand up for what i think is important, speak out when someone needs to, and occasionally i speed :)

this morning i looked at those red birkenstocks and thought, "yes, i am wearing those!" and i did. with my attitude intact, i headed for school. and everything was fine at first . . .

. . . and then the director arrived.

i had forseen this happening. i knew she would be at school today. i knew that at some point she was going to see my shoes. the question was, what would happen when she did?

as the day wore on, i found my bravado slipping. i tried to avoid her. when i did see her, i tried to hide my feet--which is a little bit hard when you are standing all alone in a hallway. i thought up responses to her possible remarks. verbally, i was ready, but emotionally i still felt like a kid with stolen candy in my pocket.

but i got away with it--at least for today. not being one to press my luck, tomorrow i will go back to wearing "regulation" shoes. but i have a plan, a slightly rebellious plan. it involves pushing the limits of acceptable footwear in my workplace, one backless pair of shoes at a time . . .

i am NOT a people pleaser. i am a rebel. sometimes.