a rude awakening!

so today . . . i had a near death experience. in the shower.

when i get up in the morning, i am not really alert. my eyes are open, but they don't really see anything. my brain struggles to begin conscious thought. really, i am on autopilot until about 10:00. so i am not always aware of the details of my surroundings...

this morning i felt my way along the wall until i reached the shower. i turned the water on, and continued sleeping. i opened my eyes briefly so i could find the shampoo, and then closed them again--because really, i can't see my hair while i'm shampooing it anyway...

near the end of my shower, i finally opened my eyes all the way. and then i saw it--a big, fat, hairy (well, i couldn't actually SEE that it was hairy, because i wasn't wearing my glasses and my eyes were five feet away, but i know it was hairy!!) SPIDER!!! IN THE SHOWER!!! WITH ME!!!!!!!

let me just say, if i was diandra, shrieking, screaming, crying, and panicking would have ensued. we would have all gone running, thinking she was fighting off a knife-wielding psychopath instead of a spider. she would not have been able to get out of that shower fast enough!! i, however, kept my cool. mostly...

i am not so much afraid of spiders, as i am creeped out by them. i am capable of grabbing a tissue and eliminating any feckless spiders that happen across my path, but that doesn't mean i want to be surprised by one. i don't want my bare foot to find one in my shoe. i don't want one to drop on my head and crawl down my arm. and i certainly don't want to take a shower with one!

my poor sleeping brain wasn't quite sure what to do. my first thought was to drown it. i was in the shower, after all--there was plenty of water. but i was kind of afraid that if i moved the stream of water to kill the spider, it might flee from the water--toward me! i couldn't squish it with a tissue, because a) there were no tissues within reach, and b) a tissue would just disintegrate in the shower and then i would be HOLDING a spider! i couldn't yell for help, because i was alone. in the house. with a spider. IN MY SHOWER!!!

i decided that perhaps my best course of action was to get out of the shower. and fast. so i turned off the water, grabbed my towel and started to dry off. in the shower.

yes, i dry off in the shower--i have to. our shower is right inside the bathroom door, so if i step out onto the bathmat without drying off first, then the bathmat is wet! and then every time i go in or out of the bathroom, in my bare or stockinged feet, my feet get wet. and i hate having wet feet! (technically, we probably don't even need a bath mat since we can't step on it with our wet feet, but i just think we should have one. at least it feels nice on my feet before i step into the shower.) so yes, there i was, drying off in the shower, with one eye on that spider.

actually, both eyes were on the spider. i just knew that once the water was off, he was going to start running laps around the shower floor, and then he would eventually get dizzy and stagger into the center of the shower WHERE MY FEET WERE!!! sure enough, he started moving clockwise. he got to the side where the door was (i don't know how he knew that was where the door was... do spiders even know what a door is?!?!?) and started to climb up the side toward freedom. i thought this was an excellent idea! but he couldn't seem to get out!! he would crawl a little way up and then slide down, crawl up a bit and then slide down. clearly he was not getting anywhere...

and then he turned around and headed straight. for. me!

by now i was almost dry--everything except my feet and my dripping hair! i backed into the corner of the shower, drying off one foot. he kept coming. the foot that was still on the shower floor started tingling. i just knew he was going to be on my foot in seconds! i slid my foot as far away as i could get and started angling toward the door...

and then he crawled down the drain.

DOWN THE DRAIN!! OF HIS OWN FREE WILL!!! didn't he know that there was water down there? didn't he know that spiders can't swim? didn't he know that soon rollie would be getting in the shower and he would be toast???

i don't know. maybe the spider was not a morning person either and was running on auto pilot like i had been. (you notice i say "had been," because now i was thoroughly and completely awake!!) or maybe he had just had enough! maybe he was tired of living in fear of diandra's screams and my looming tissues... maybe we had annihilated all the other spiders in our house, and he could see the handwriting on the wall...

either way, apparently i was not in the shower with a knife-wielding psychopath... just with a suicidal spider...

busyness and randomness...

so today . . . i'm just writing to let you all know that i am still alive.

i haven't blogged in a week! but i'm not sick. i'm not hurt. i'm not sad or depressed or unfunny. i'm just busy.

we had a very busy weekend, and then we were out of town sunday night through tuesday for a retreat. (oddly, i was more tired when i got home from the retreat than i was before i went.) i've spent most of my available time continuing the search for glasses--both online and in stores. i think i've finally made a decision, but since i haven't actually paid for anything yet, i'm not absolutely sure that i am sure about my decision. we will see what happens in the next few days...

tuesday afternoon i got a flu shot. it was free--i guess my insurance company is hoping it will keep me from getting sick. i am hoping for that too. i am hoping i will NOT get the flu this year. or pneumonia. or have an asthma issue. again, we will have to wait and see...

this morning i had to go back to work after having two days off. my alarm went off, and i thought, "rats! back to work..." i wish i was one of those people whose eyes pop open immediately, and who leap out of bed in a happy mood (yes, i guess in the morning i wish i was rollie!) but instead i lay there thinking, "i can't get up and go to work today. i just can't. i can't get out of this warm bed. i can't get in the shower. i can't get dressed. i am just too tired. i can't go to work. not today. nope. today i think i just have to stay here in bed. today maybe i will just go back to sleep."

this is all a bluff, because i know that i am going to get up, get in the shower, get dressed, and go to work. i know that when the clock hits a certain time, i really have to roll out of bed. i know this, and yet i lay there pretending that i have a choice.

it isn't that i hate my job--i have a pretty good job. the problem is that i hate getting out of bed. i even hate getting up on saturdays! my bed is comfy cozy. i have a memory foam mattress pad and a fluffy comforter. i usually have a dog snuggied up against me, and reading material close by... and at 7:00 in the morning, it seems preferable to a room full of four and five year olds.

but i did finally get up and made it to school on time. it was a completely uneventful day--except for the appearance of sod on our newly renovated playground. actually, the new sod was the most exciting thing that happened today, until "angry birds" showed up...

angry birds is a shooting game. i got a notification that it was a free download today for android phones. i don't have an android phone, but rollie and diandra do. so i forwarded the email to them. i had no idea what the game was like, but it was free (and probably more fun than my flu shot!) rollie downloaded it, and then started playing it so i could see what it was like...

little birds jump into a slingshot, waiting for you to fling them toward different structures that house green pigs. they smack into the structure, causing differing amounts of damage, trying to flatten the pigs. of course, you get points and there are ever increasing levels of difficulty. but what i love, even more than the graphics, is the sound. the angry birds mutter angrily. when they smack into a structure, they say "ow." if the pigs survive, they laugh. i found it funny. especially because rollie was sitting next to me on the couch so i could see the game, but while he was trying to play, both dogs were trying to get into his lap. he was trying to ignore them and send tiny virtual birds smacking into pig-infested structures at the same time. milo would try to get close enough to his face to lick it. rollie would try to avoid milo. mia would creep closer to him, until she was draped completely across his lap. milo sat in my lap watching for an opportunity to reach his face. and rollie kept playing. through all that commotion... he cleared ten levels!

he finally went up to bed, but i am not so sure he went to sleep. my guess is that he is still avoiding dogs, and sending virtual birds flying through the air...

i, however, am going to shut down my computer for the night and head for my comfy, cozy bed. it is calling to me, and maybe if i get into it earlier, my morning conversation with myself will be a bit more positive. maybe. or maybe not...

me and james dean

so today . . . i was a rebel. i wore my red birkenstocks to school--yes, my "if i'm moving to california, i am buying birkenstocks" shoes.

i am one of those people who hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times before i can actually roll my body out of bed. the result is that i do not have much time in the morning to get ready for work--it is jumpintheshower, runacombthroughmyhair, slaponabitofmakeup, throwonclothes, grababagelandmycomputerbag, and careenoutofthedrivewaytowardschool. so i do not have time to make clothing decisions. but girl clothing requires decision making and as you know, i am terrible at making decisions. i can try on 4 different tops with a skirt, reject them all and the skirt too, and then grab a dress--because there are less decisions to be made with a dress. until i remember how cold my classroom can be when the a/c is blowing directly on me, so then i have to choose a sweater too. or maybe my denim jacket, because it goes with everything, or perhaps just a scarf will be enough . . .

but shoes are the worst. i want to be comfortable, but i'm not going to work in tennis shoes. that is where my beloved skechers come in. but some days the skecher look is just not right, and today was one of those. my choices were either my favorite pair of red patent leather high heeled steve madden open toed shoes or my red birkenstocks. i lovelovelove the red steve madden shoes, but i thought their appropriateness for school might be questionable. that left me with the red birkenstocks.

the red birkenstocks are comfortable and cute, and seemed like the obvious choice except for one small detail--they do not have a back on them.

buried deep in the employee handbook for my school is a paragraph requiring all teachers to wear shoes with a back on them. it is not a rule i am fond of, but i have adhered to it for the last five years (well, except for a few times when i have sneaked a pair of "clog" type shoes in under my pants.) i try not to complain too much, because i know some schools also decree that teachers cannot wear open-toed shoes, and at least we still have that option. but sometimes i chafe under this rule--especially when the perfect pair of backless shoes is staring out at me from my closet just begging to go to school . . .

recently i overheard someone say that i was a "people pleaser." this really bothered me, because i don't think that i am, and it bothers me that apparently that is how some people categorize me. i think of a people pleaser as being someone who is weak and easy to push around, someone who will do anything to make others happy, or to keep from rocking the boat--an "anything to get along" attitude. i'm not like that. i am nice. i am polite. i try to be kind and considerate to other people. i see no point in arguing, so i usually just don't. and i usually follow the rules, because i think that is the right thing to do. but not at any cost. i am a strong person with a mind of my own. i stand up for what i think is important, speak out when someone needs to, and occasionally i speed :)

this morning i looked at those red birkenstocks and thought, "yes, i am wearing those!" and i did. with my attitude intact, i headed for school. and everything was fine at first . . .

. . . and then the director arrived.

i had forseen this happening. i knew she would be at school today. i knew that at some point she was going to see my shoes. the question was, what would happen when she did?

as the day wore on, i found my bravado slipping. i tried to avoid her. when i did see her, i tried to hide my feet--which is a little bit hard when you are standing all alone in a hallway. i thought up responses to her possible remarks. verbally, i was ready, but emotionally i still felt like a kid with stolen candy in my pocket.

but i got away with it--at least for today. not being one to press my luck, tomorrow i will go back to wearing "regulation" shoes. but i have a plan, a slightly rebellious plan. it involves pushing the limits of acceptable footwear in my workplace, one backless pair of shoes at a time . . .

i am NOT a people pleaser. i am a rebel. sometimes.