even when i TRY to do the right thing . . .

so today . . . it became clear to me that i should always play before i work. rollie, the work before play guy, is now fighting the urge to scream, "NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

and his eye is twitching ;)

i've been cleaning for about a week now. i am not just cleaning--i am CLEANING! i am vacuuming nooks and crannies, i am scrubbing walls, i am checking for pesky cobwebs. i washed the filter in the vacuum cleaner, i used a toothbrush to clean the top edge of the baseboard, i used a pumice stone to eradicate hard water stains on porcelain surfaces. i've filled several bags with clothing we no longer need, for charity. this is how i know it is summer--i go into "i must clean everything!" mode.

it is good that i do this, because during the school year i am mostly in "i think i will just sit here and hope that the house cleaning fairies come while i am not looking" mode. but they never come . . .

i make lists. i make schedules. this is important to the cleaning process, because i feel successful every time i mark something off my list. when i started channeling mr. clean ten days ago, i even scheduled in a couple of days where i didn't have to do much--sort of like rest days. only since i never get everything done, they turned out to be catch up days.

and then saturday night, i realized that everything was not going to get done on my time table. so, what to do, what to do . . . i know! make new lists! so that is what i did--a list for sunday, a list for monday, and a list for tuesday. some things from the old list did not make it onto the new list. the drapes will not get shaken. the windows will not get washed. (ok, those things weren't on the first list either--i'm not insane!!) but my plane leaves on wednesday, so some tasks had to go.

yesterday was pretty much taken over by church in the morning and then the fireworks stand until midnight, so today i needed to spend some serious time with my lists. this was not going to be a day to read or watch tv or even turn on my computer (because that is where my trouble begins . . . ) i went to look at my monday list to see what to do first, but my lists had gone a.w.o.l. yep, they were nowhere to be found.

now what to do? i can't work without my lists!! rollie said, "can you make new lists?" no, i cannot! the whole reason i make lists is so that i don't have to think about what to do! once i write something on the list, it is out of my head. i tried to work, but couldn't finish anything. what was the point? i couldn't mark it off my list, because i couldn't find my lists! i finally gave up, started the laundry, and sat down with my computer.

and there they were. under my computer.

you see?!?!? if i had just been my usual lackadaisical self, i would have found my lists much earlier, and maybe been more productive! or maybe not, since i would have had my computer in my lap. because now, my computer is on. and facebook is only a click away from blogger . . .

maybe i should have put 'taking care of my facebook games' on one of my lists. because now that the lists are back in my possession, i feel this obligation to at least mark something off today . . .

my 300th post!

so today . . . it rained.

and i was going to write a blog about the rain, but then i realized that this is my 300th post! i think that is kind of amazing! so the rain blog will have to wait for another day . . .

three hundred is a pretty bug number. so it got me to thinking about what other things i have done 300 times . . .

--the laundry. yes, i passed the number 300 long, long ago.
--kissed the dogs. i kiss them multiple times in a day, so i surpass 300 kisses every year!
--hmmm--i guess i should add kissed rollie and diandra too. i kiss them almost every day, sometimes twice ;)
--read books or magazines. i always have something that i am in the middle of reading.
--made a list. oh yeah--i am the master list maker. i make a new list almost every day. of course, i never complete my lists, but this is a topic for another day's blog . . .
--popped the top on a can of diet soda. sigh. i know.
--logged onto the internet. yeah, my facebook friends know this is true!
--said, "in this class we are all friends together," or "are you making a good choice?" or "i see johnny is doing the right thing." yes, some days i could pretty much be replaced by a recording.
--whined. this number is probably upwards of 3000.
--cooked dinner. hah! i know some of you don't believe this, but i used to cook all the time.

and in the interests of fairness and balance, i would also like to add . . .

things i have not done 300 times . . .
--put gas in my car. in oregon, there are guys who come to your car and pump your gas--even in the rain! you still have to get out of your car to pay, usually, but still . . . since we have only lived in california for 8 years, i'm pretty sure i am still under the 300 mark here.
--cut my hair. my hair has been an almost constant source of frustration to me, although in the last few years we have reached a tentative truce. but the truth is, i am just too cheap to have it cut more than four times a year.
--gone to the gym. yes, i have discovered that i am not a gym rat--even though i want to be.
--reorganized my closet. but i am sure i will hit the number 300 here before i die . . .
--told my mom and dad i loved them. i should have told them thousands of times. they are amazing parents!
--gotten a speeding ticket. thank goodness! i've only had two, and i only deserved one of them. that's not to say that i never speed, but where we live, speeding is relative . . .
--watched "it's a wonderful life!" some things should be savored, not gorged on.
--defrosted the freezer. it is cold and wet in there--i prefer sunny and warm.
--asked a friend to go do something fun. i am kind of a solitary person. i have friends, but typically i do things alone. solitude works for me.
--gone to disneyland. i was 42 years old when i went to disneyland the first time, and i still thought it was the most magical place on earth. i think this needs to move to the other list. let's see, if i got a pass and went once a week . . .

and there you have it--my 300th post. be glad i decided not to write "300 things you might not know about me . . . "

never going to happen . . .

so today . . . i am crossing one more thing off of my "things i did that i vowed i would never do" list. this is the companion to the "things i will never, ever do, no matter what" list.

my list of "things i will never ever do, no matter what" is not a written list. i keep it in my head--that way it is easy to adjust it. because i am finding that as my life progresses, more and more things are moving from that list to the list of "things i did that i vowed i would never do."

like saying, "because i'm the mom, that's why!"

honestly, i don't remember my mom ever saying that--maybe she did (although if she did, i am sure it was not addressed to me--i was the perfect child!) but for some reason, i just decided it was something i would never, ever stoop to saying. if my child asked me a question, i would answer her. because of course, i would always have a reason for everything i did . . .

and then diandra started talking.

i don't know if it was because she was an only child or because of genetics or because we read to her all the time, but she had an analytical mind and an amazing vocabulary to go along with it. this resulted in conversations with lots of "but why" questions, which i always tried to answer completely until i would finally run out of answers. at which point i would hear myself saying, "because i'm the mom, that's why!"

or eating broccoli.

i used to be somewhat famous for my aversion to most vegetables. but for some reason i had a special dislike for broccoli. i'm not sure why. i don't remember ever eating it and thinking it tasted awful. it may have had something to do the with dreadful smell when broccoli is cooking, i don't know. but my friends knew that if anything green was passing between my lips, it was sure to be an m&m. and then came the day when we realized we were not getting any younger and should probably start thinking about trying to live longer instead of just assuming we would. so i learned to like broccoli, and now i eat it several times a week. i even order it instead of mashed potatoes when we eat at sizzler.

but today, i did something that i knew for certain i would never, ever do--not for any reason, not for any amount of money--i would die first! and yet, today it crossed over to the "i did it" list.

i rinsed my sinuses.

i've heard about the neti pots. i know there are people who swear by them. but not me. there was no way i was ever going to be running water up one nostril and down the other one. no. way.

but i've been sick. and the pulmonary doctor i saw yesterday thinks that maybe my pneumonia started out as sinusitis, which can be very difficult to get rid of. so she thinks this is a good idea. she thinks it will help. and as she is telling me about what she wants me to do, all i can think is "there is no way on earth that i am going to be able to do that!! even if i wanted to, which, by the way, i don't! water up my nose??? and then filling up my sinuses and coming back out?!?!? uh uh, no way!!!" i don't even like to put my head under the water--i'm pretty sure that is why i can't swim. i didn't even take showers until i went to college--it was baths for me. you don't get water in your nose when you take a bath!

i'm pretty sure if i try this, i will drown. seriously. in fact, rollie and i had a discussion about it when the doctor left the room. i kept saying, "but if i block the back of my throat so the water doesn't get into my mouth, then i can't breathe!" and he kept saying, "of course you can." and i kept saying, "no, i can't! watch." and then i would pinch my nose shut, block my throat with my tongue and try to breathe. which of course i couldn't. he just rolled his eyes, but i knew this was going to kill me.

rollie picked up the kit from the pharmacy, along with the newer, stronger antibiotics. (which btw, are ENORMOUS! i have to cut them in half and they are still hard to swallow!) i read the directions to the sinus rinsing stuff on the way home, and acted like i was going to do it, but i wasn't. when we got home, i put it on the kitchen counter (which is beginning to look like a drug store,) and decided i should wait a while before i tried it--knowing i was not going to do it, but pretending i was . . .

time passed. rollie went to bed. i got tired. i wanted to go to sleep, but i couldn't until i rinsed my sinuses. so i just stayed up. finally i knew i had to do it. but i didn't want to. i knew at the very least i was going to gag and snort and cough and be miserable. and at the very worst, i might drown. but what would i say when the doctor asked me about it? i thought about lying, but she is a doctor. she would know.

so i prepared the solution. i got a box of tissues. i headed to the bathroom sink, hearing a funeral dirge playing in my head. and then i did it.

and it wasn't fun. water went in one side and out the other. it felt like it does when i breathe in when my head is underwater (which never happens anymore, because i have pretty much given up on swimming. but the memories are strong!!) and yet, i didn't gag or choke or drown. so i guess i am going to live.

there's still a lot of stuff on my "things i will never, ever do, no matter what" list. but after this experience, i'm kind of afraid to think about what might move to the "things i did that i vowed i would never do" list next.

i sure hope it isn't bungee jumping . . .