rollie's last sunday, part 1

so today . . . was the wildest sunday we have seen for a while. it was rollie's last sunday as a pastor.

on tuesday, rollie will start his new job as district superintendant of the anaheim district church of the nazarene. this means that he will no longer be responsible for a church--he will be responsible for about 60 churches! it is going to be interesting...

but today was about saying goodbye to the church we have been a part of for the last ten years. i knew it had the potential to be an emotional day, but i was hoping it wouldn't be too bad.

it did not get off to a good start. i was late. normally this isn't a huge deal, because i go an hour and a half early for band rehearsal. but i wasn't leading worship today, so i didn't have to be there until 10:15. and so of course i was late...

i walked in to sit next to diandra, who immediately said to me, "did you get my text?"

(this is never good. anytime anyone greets me that way, i know i am in for trouble. the problem is that when i turn the ringer off on my phone, i often forget to turn it back on. which means i miss phone calls and texts. important texts.)

"no," i said. "what did you need?" "i forgot my camera, and this is dad's last sunday!" she said.

ok, this was going to be a problem. i was going to need pictures of everything that happened today, and we didn't have a camera. after a short discussion, i got back in the car and headed home. (it's a good thing we only live a few miles away!) diandra had told me where her camera and flash were, so i zipped home, grabbed the equipment, and flew back. i made really good time! i went back into the church, sat down next to diandra, and handed her the camera. and they were still singing, so no one probably even noticed my absence. mission accomplished.

and then diandra said, "where is my shootsac?" what? her shootsac?? she didn't tell me to bring her shootsac. "yes i did," she said. well maybe she did. i heard her say shootsac, but she was whispering (we were in church, after all,) and she was whispering into my nearly deaf ear. i thought she said that is where her camera was.

i almost brought the shootsac. i had had a discussion with myself about it when i was home ("there's the shootsac. should i take it? she didn't specifically ask for it. but what if she needs something in it. but if she doesn't need it, then it is just one more thing to keep track of...") at which point i picked it up and thought, "it just has extra lenses in it. she probably isn't going to use any of those lenses." and so i had left it at home.

when will i learn to follow my instincts...

"do you need those lenses?" i asked. "no," she said, "but all my memory cards are in there. i can't shoot without a memory card." now i am thinking, "why don't you keep a memory card in your camera!" but as she later explained to me, she had just shot an everyday session on saturday, and so all of her cards were in the shootsac waiting to be dumped to her computer.

so now we had a camera, but no memory cards. "i guess i can just take pictures with my phone," she said. and off she went to the front of the church. she came back a few minutes later and said, "those are not going to be very good pictures..."

ok, houston, we had a problem. we needed a memory card. because cell phone pictures were just not going to cut it today. another short discussion ensued--the result being another mad dash, made by me, to the target down the street. yes, during church. i careened into the target parking lot, ran in and hurried to the electronics department. my plan was to grab a sales person and ask for help and get out quick. it was a great plan--except there was no one in the electronics department. no one. i went in search of a sales clerk, and when i found one, i dragged him back to the deserted department, snagged a memory card, paid for it, and headed for the exit. on the way out, it occurred to me that i might have some trouble getting the memory card out of it's secure packaging.

i veered off to the changing rooms and asked the attendant if she had scissors. she seemed a bit reluctant to answer me. i pulled the memory card out of the bag and said, "i need to get this out of the package, fast, and i don't have any scissors in the car." "oh-kaaayyy," she said, as she held out a potential weapon to a seemingly crazy woman. "it's ok," i said, "i just bought it. do you want to see the receipt?" "no," she said, but she was looking at me like she was trying to figure out how to call security without alarming me.

sadly, this would not be the first time security had been alerted about me...

i got the memory card out of it's package and zipped back to the church. i slid into the pew next to diandra and handed her the card. she snapped it into her camera and headed to the front of the church to take some photos. i settled back just in time to hear the end of rollie's sermon. yes, the end.

but it's ok. we record all his sermons, so i can go onto the website and watch it later. and it was important to get some pictures today. and i would post some of those pictures, except they are still on that memory card, which i am pretty sure is still in diandra's camera, which is around here somewhere...

but that is not the end of the story. oh no, there is more. church was followed by a farewell dinner. and since they say a picture is worth a thousand words, i am going to wait until tomorrow to blog about that. even though it happened today. because while i am pretty good with words, i am not sure i can adequately describe to you the scene that greeted me when i walked into the gym. you need to see pictures. and the pictures are in diandra's camera. somewhere...

but let's just say, the decor was a little like my own personal nightmare...

yeah, tune in tomorrow. for pictures.

:-)

it's christmas eve!

so today . . . is my second blog anniversary. it is also christmas eve.

in hindsight, perhaps that was not the best time to actually start a blog. because now, every year on christmas eve, i feel this pressure to produce an amazing anniversary blog. but by the time i sit down to write, my brain is all full of christmasy thoughts instead of bloggy ones.

if i was more organized, i would write some sort of yearly retrospective a week or two before christmas and have it all ready to post on christmas eve. but clearly, i am not that organized.

so this year, i am just going to leave you with a picture of my mom's tree. because i am sitting here in her living room, looking at her beautiful tree, and enjoying this moment.i know this moment isn't going to last. in a few days i will go back home, pick up my real life, and move on. but tonight, i am enjoying the feeling of contentment that sitting in front of my mom's christmas tree always seems to bring.

i hope all of you are able to find some peace and joy during this holiday season.

happy christmas eve!

500!

so today . . . i am posting my 500th blog! FIVE HUNDRED!! just stop for a minute and think about that . . . i am pretty impressed with myself!

i think i spend waaaay more time writing my blog than anyone else does. i say this because i am never happy with my first attempt. i write, rewrite, and edit every blog to within an inch of it's life. and this takes time! but i do it, because i want it to be good--really good. i want to feel proud of the end result, and so i write for as long as it takes . . .

but how long does it take? since i rarely sit down, start a new blog, write it, edit it, and post it all in one sitting without any breaks, it is kind of hard to estimate the time spent. (especially since facebook is usually occupying another tab on my computer, and maybe home shopping network and hotmail too--all clamoring for a little of my attention . . . ) i usually start my blog between 7:00 and 8:00 at night, and don't post it until after 11:00. of course, i am not blogging all of that time--i am also shopping, playing fb games, reading other blogs, and checking my email! but i think a conservative estimate would be an hour of work for each blog post. that is a lot of time--especially if you add it all up!

so here is a top ten list of THINGS I COULD HAVE DONE WITH 500 HOURS--IF I HADN'T BLOGGED.

10. i could have worked four more months. why i would do this, i have no idea. but since i work about 32 hours a week teaching small children, 500 hours translates into 15.5 weeks of work. i think it is safe to say i would choose blogging over more work!
9. i could have watched 333 more movies, if the movies averaged an hour and a half long. this does not include travel time. or standing in line to pay $4.75 for a soda. or walking half a mile to find the car in the long beach town center parking lot--if i drove. (if rollie drove, we got a parking space right by the door, because he has this uncanny ability to get the best parking spaces!)
8. i could have scanned in 6000 strips of old negatives, because it takes me about five minutes per strip. of course, that is just the beginning . . . once i get them scanned in, then i have to delete the bad ones, name and date the rest, sort them, and put them into folders. and then, put them into photoshop and fix them up so they look like new! really, in 500 hours, i'll probably actually only complete the process with two strips. two.
7. i could have taken 1500 power naps, which i will need after dealing with all those negatives. i don't know who decided 20 minutes constituted a nap, but i find that it takes me almost that much time to find the alarm app on my phone, set an alarm, and close my eyes. then i lay there and worry that the alarm won't go off, because sometimes i forget to turn the alarm on once it is set, and the rest of the time i forget to unmute the volume. and then before i know it, my 20 minutes is up.
6. i could have said, "are you making a good choice?" 72,000 times. it only takes me five seconds to say that, but i say it over and over and over again, day after day after day. of course, i work with five year olds . . .
5. i could have attended 143 angels games, if i was in charge of the schedule. this is because i don't feel the need to get to a baseball game two hours before the first pitch is thrown (unlike some people in my family!) rollie would only get to go to 111 games . . .
4. i could have made 29 non-stop drives to portland. we are road warriors! if necessary, we can drive that trip in 17 hours. of course, to do that, we have to employ the three-in-one stop. for those of you who only fly, the three-in-one stop means gas, restrooms, and food (to go) all in one stop, and then we hit the freeway for four more hours. this means that sometimes lunch consists of corn nuts, cherry nibs, and soda, but we make good time :)
3. i could have watched 625 episodes of mythbusters on netflix. however, there are currently only 166 episodes recorded, so i would have to watch each one three times. that's ok though, because does one ever get tired of ballistics gel? or watching things blow up?!?
2. i could have ridden california screamin' 7500 times! this is the. best. rollercoaster. EVER!! there are some pretty good roller coasters at magic mountain, but if i could only ride one roller coaster for the rest of my life, i think this would be the one. it is that good!

and the number one thing i could have done with an extra 500 hours?

1. i could have written a book. although a book would have required a beginning and an end. and while my blog had a beginning, i don't know when it will end. and as for character development? i seem to have plenty of characters in my life . . .

in hindsight, i am glad i have blogged. i started out with the intent just to give you a giggle every day, but i have ended up sharing my life. it has turned out to be totally worth the time i have invested in it.

here's to 500 more!

*as i go to post this blog, i realize that it is blog #501! i do not know how this has happened!! now my ocd is kicking into overdrive, and i am trying to figure out how i can rearrange the last couple of blogs so that this one will actually BE my 500th blog. i guess i could change the date on the kindle blog that i wrote a few days ago. really, it isn't particularly specific to the day i wrote it. and since i haven't actually read a book on my kindle yet, i could sort of pretend i wrote it after this one . . . don't you think? but if i do that, then this whole paragraph won't make any sense when future blog readers come across it.

sheesh!

400 and counting . . .

so today . . . here i am, writing my 400th blog.

i've kind of put off writing this blog--you may have noticed it has been a few days since i last posted--because it is a milestone, and i wanted it to be extra great. so i kept waiting and watching for something awesome to happen that could be featured as "my 400th blog!"

but nothing awesome happened.

why is it that anytime a number ends in a zero or a five, it suddenly takes on an added significance. and if it is double zeros? major added significance! i didn't toil over blog #389 or blog #214--well, anymore than i usually do--but for some reason i feel that blog #400 should be extra wonderful. so all week i have been on alert for an extra wonderful story to tell.

but nothing extra wonderful has happened.

i slogged through my days at work, blowing my nose every 15 minutes, and asking my kids, "are you making good choices?"every two minutes--at least, it seemed like it was every two minutes. i came home and took naps, woke up to eat dinner and maintain my fb games (because even in sickness, crops and pets must be tended to,) and then went to bed--only to do it all again the next day. and the next day. and the day after that.

i didn't see diandra, so there were no contributions there. my school kids probably said some funny stuff, but i can't remember any of it. rollie fed me and listened to me whine, but was smart enough not to add anything to the mix.

so here i am, ready to write blog #400, and my brain is empty of awesomeness . . .

. . . and yet, i have written 400 blogs. i think that is quite an accomplishment! i've written on good days and bad days. i've written from home and from out of town. i've written during the heat of summer and the cold of winter (ok, i know it is california so we are only talking about a difference of 10 or 15 degrees, but still . . . ) i've thrown everyone in my family under the bus for the sake of a laugh--even the dogs. i've stayed up later than i should on school nights and occasionally ignored the vacuuming (yes, sometimes sacrifices had to be made.) some days i have looked at my blank computer screen eagerly, and some days i have looked at it blankly, but the result has been 399 blogs. most of them have been funny, a few have been a little more contemplative, but i think some of them have been awesome!

unfortunately, the awesome ones just didn't happen to be blog #400 . . . :)

a whole year of blogging!

so today . . . is the first anniversary of my blog.

last christmas eve when i wrote my first blog, i had no idea how blogging was going to affect my life. i started with the intent of just documenting the funny or strange things that happened to me, but along the way i found that i was also recalling childhood memories, learning things about myself, and writing not just to document, but also to entertain. i tried to write every single day, and i did for a while. but i found that there is a reason that newspaper columnists only publish two or three columns a week--it is hard to be creative and funny on a deadline.

i wanted my first anniversary blog to be amazing--knock your socks off amazing! i was going to have it redesigned with new colors and pictures. i was going to write a retrospective of the year that would have you laughing until it hurt. and then i was going to end it with a bang!

and then i got sick and my brain turned into cottage cheese . . .

so instead, i am going to offer you a first anniversary top ten list.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED SINCE I STARTED BLOGGING

10. i go to bed later. i tend to be a night owl anyway, but now that i blog, it is getting ridiculous. many nights i do not even start writing until 10:00, which is when i should be heading toward bed. it has been suggested that i start writing earlier, but oddly enough, i am not as funny earlier in the day.

9. mini chocolate donuts. actually, the mini chocolate donuts haven't changed, but their role in our family has. we now refer to them as "devil donuts." so do a few of our friends. but to diandra, they represent her mother wrongly accusing her of theft. and she can't seem to let it go. if you ask her about my blog, THAT is what comes to her mind--not all the wonderful, brilliant things i've said about her, but how i thought she ate the devil donuts (hey-it was a reasonable assumption given the information that i had . . . )

8. "you should blog that." i hear these words from my family quite frequently now. when we are out together and something unusual happens, one of them will say, "you should blog that." i am glad that they enjoy my blogging and appreciate their willingness to participate--whether it's by giving me ideas or just allowing me to tell stories about them.

7. my mind is learning to think kinder, gentler thoughts. i try to avoid offending or hurting anyone when i blog. this means that sometimes i can't just write straight out of my head--i need to edit my thoughts before i write them down. and as i have done that over the last year, i find that my thoughts don't need to be edited nearly as much as they used to. my initial reaction to my world is more forgiving and more tolerant, and i think that makes me a more contented person.

6. people know things about me that i don't know they know. sometimes i forget who reads my blog, and when people come up to me and reference something from my past or something that happened at school, it is always surprising to me. and i look at them and think, "how did you know that?" it sort of makes me feel like a celebrity for a few minutes. and then i remember--loyal blog readers.

5. the first thing i check when i go online is my email. why, you ask? because i am always hopeful that someone has commented on my blog. i love to blog, but i love your comments even more. i can see how many people are reading by looking at the stat counter, but your comments show me your reactions to what i have written. the possibility of reading your comments is what keeps me blogging on those days when i think i just can't do it.

4. i think in blogspeak. i will be going about my day, minding my own business, when an idea will come to me for a blog, and suddenly i am not thinking like i normally do. suddenly my thoughts will have a certain rhythm and cadence. i will discard a particular word in favor of a more descriptive one. and i will know that in my mind i have switched from real world thinking to blogspeak.

3. anything can be a blog--not necessarily a good blog, but if i think about something for a little bit, i can usually relate it to something that has happened to me, or something i have been thinking about, or food (a favorite blog topic!) in fact, this has just given me a great idea for a blog . . .

2. my family is the best! ok, so this isn't something that has changed--i've always known this. but blogging has shown me why. my family is funny, and they are not afraid to show it. we like to make each other laugh, even if the joke is on us. and we love each other and get along and enjoy being together. yes, i am a lucky duck!

and the #1 thing that has changed since i started blogging--
i don't type in caps anymore. i started doing that because it was just easier and faster, and i decided it would be part of my "style." but now that I have been doing it for a year, it is affecting other areas of my writing. i sent an email to my doctor the other day and thought i should use capitals. so i did. for the first sentence. while i was thinking about it. yes, now i have to think about hitting the shift key. it is no longer an automatic response.

and there it is--the first anniversary blog. i just want to say how much i appreciate each one of you who give up five minutes of your day to read my blog. as much as i enjoy writing it, i probably would not put in the time that it takes if no one was reading it. so thank you! you give me incentive and purpose to continue . . .

happy first anniversary!

my 300th post!

so today . . . it rained.

and i was going to write a blog about the rain, but then i realized that this is my 300th post! i think that is kind of amazing! so the rain blog will have to wait for another day . . .

three hundred is a pretty bug number. so it got me to thinking about what other things i have done 300 times . . .

--the laundry. yes, i passed the number 300 long, long ago.
--kissed the dogs. i kiss them multiple times in a day, so i surpass 300 kisses every year!
--hmmm--i guess i should add kissed rollie and diandra too. i kiss them almost every day, sometimes twice ;)
--read books or magazines. i always have something that i am in the middle of reading.
--made a list. oh yeah--i am the master list maker. i make a new list almost every day. of course, i never complete my lists, but this is a topic for another day's blog . . .
--popped the top on a can of diet soda. sigh. i know.
--logged onto the internet. yeah, my facebook friends know this is true!
--said, "in this class we are all friends together," or "are you making a good choice?" or "i see johnny is doing the right thing." yes, some days i could pretty much be replaced by a recording.
--whined. this number is probably upwards of 3000.
--cooked dinner. hah! i know some of you don't believe this, but i used to cook all the time.

and in the interests of fairness and balance, i would also like to add . . .

things i have not done 300 times . . .
--put gas in my car. in oregon, there are guys who come to your car and pump your gas--even in the rain! you still have to get out of your car to pay, usually, but still . . . since we have only lived in california for 8 years, i'm pretty sure i am still under the 300 mark here.
--cut my hair. my hair has been an almost constant source of frustration to me, although in the last few years we have reached a tentative truce. but the truth is, i am just too cheap to have it cut more than four times a year.
--gone to the gym. yes, i have discovered that i am not a gym rat--even though i want to be.
--reorganized my closet. but i am sure i will hit the number 300 here before i die . . .
--told my mom and dad i loved them. i should have told them thousands of times. they are amazing parents!
--gotten a speeding ticket. thank goodness! i've only had two, and i only deserved one of them. that's not to say that i never speed, but where we live, speeding is relative . . .
--watched "it's a wonderful life!" some things should be savored, not gorged on.
--defrosted the freezer. it is cold and wet in there--i prefer sunny and warm.
--asked a friend to go do something fun. i am kind of a solitary person. i have friends, but typically i do things alone. solitude works for me.
--gone to disneyland. i was 42 years old when i went to disneyland the first time, and i still thought it was the most magical place on earth. i think this needs to move to the other list. let's see, if i got a pass and went once a week . . .

and there you have it--my 300th post. be glad i decided not to write "300 things you might not know about me . . . "