Tuesday, June 30, 2009

fun in orlando?!?

so today . . . i am realizing that we are only going to be here for a few more days, and i haven't done anything exciting.

the first few days were spent recovering from our trek across the country--really, we probably could have walked it with less frustration. although, my luggage still might not have made it past san francisco--it was kind of heavy . . .

then, once rollie started attending his meetings, i found myself mostly sleeping in, picking him up for lunch, taking a nap, picking him up for dinner, reading until bedtime, and eating chocolate donuts. yes, i was a slug! in my defense, i knew i was majorly sleep deprived, what with finishing up school, thinking about trimming milo's nails, and "cleaning" house before we left. so i knew i would be doing a lot of sleeping, but i'm in orlando! i should be doing something fun!

we have been to orlando before, so i have been to sea world, disney world, and epcot. i've been to gatorland and kennedy space center. i've seen the beach here, and it isn't worth a trip (at least the part i saw . . . ) and rollie is busy and can't come with me anyway, so i'm left with shopping.

now i love to shop, but in the summer i have to watch my pennies a little more carefully as i don't work--consequently, no paycheck. however there are two big outlet malls within a couple of miles and a really nice mall. so i feel obligated to go check them out . . .

however, i have been to wal-mart. three times! the first time was our first day here. we are not big on getting up in time to go out to eat breakfast. actually i am the one who doesn't want to get up early--rollie is always up early. and i love to eat breakfast food in a restaurant but seem to prefer doing it late at night . . . which never happens, because rollie is in bed by then. so, when we go on vacation, one of our first stops is always a grocery store to get breakfast food. this time it was a little more difficult, as our very expensive hotel room does not have a refrigerator or a microwave (or free internet, but you all know that!) so we got cereal, bananas, juice, chocolate covered donuts (those are for me,) and soda pop.

the soda pop isn't technically for breakfast, just in case you were wondering . . .

this lasted us for a few days, but i couldn't seem to stop eating those blasted chocolate covered donuts. you see, that is one of the foods that i just don't let myself have anymore, but when we were at walmart, they just materialized in our cart and i didn't want them to feel rejected, so . . .

and of course, bananas must be eaten in a timely manner or they get yukky. and the cereal was disappearing too. so it seemed another trip to walmart was necessary.

i turned on the gps and headed down the road. past sea world. i didn't really have anything else i needed to do, so when i got to walmart, i just kind of wandered around the store. i found a cute dress on sale for $9, so i added that to my collection of items and headed to the check out lines. they totalled up my sales, i gave them my money, picked up my bags, and headed home. i found a great parking spot in the parking garage, picked up my bags, and thought, "hmmm. these bags don't feel very heavy or bulky . . . " i looked inside, and there was my dress and the juice but no bananas or cereal.

i was not a happy camper. i cannot say how much i dislike those spinning plastic bag holders they use at walmart. this is not the first time i have left something on that rack. here is the problem--they have all these bags at their disposal in which to put your items, so they just put a couple of things in each bag, requiring you to carry several bags out. and it is just too easy to leave something.

so i called walmart, and after only two tries i got through to customer service. she said to just come back and they would work it out.

come back?!?! i didn't want to come back! it was hot. it was humid. there was traffic. of course i had no choice--i knew that as soon as i realized that all my items hadn't made it back with me. but i still didn't want to go.

so i didn't. i picked up my book, sat in my comfy room, and read. i knew i was going to have to go get that stuff, but i chose to live in denial for a while. time moved on. rollie came back and we decided not to go eat dinner--really, we have already eaten enough for 10 people, it seems. he was tired, and opted for a nap. so off to walmart i went. for the third time. i retrieved the cereal and bananas, and rewarded myself with dinner at chick-fil-a.

this is not exactly the type of shopping i had in mind when i was thinking about fun things to do in orlando.

. . . but tomorrow they are predicting a hurricane--that should be fun!

Monday, June 29, 2009

a vacation? or a nightmare??

so today . . . i am back online! at least temporily.

i am in orlando, florida. we are here because rollie is a delegate to our church's global convention where they will conduct business pertaining to the general church for the next four years. and i am along for the ride. and what a ride it has been!

it started wednesday morning at 6:00 a.m. when we left the house for the airport. i did not sleep much tuesday night--you know, lots of stuff to do before we left. but i was ready to go at the agreed upon time. we arrived at the airport without incident, got in line to get our e-tickets, and that is where the trouble began . . .

rollie put his driver's license in the machine, but it tried to give him tickets for 6:30 p.m. instead of 8:30 a.m. he tried using his credit card--same results. he tried using his confirmation code--again, the wrong tickets. so we were directed to customer service.

customer service had a pretty long line--we should have known . . .

finally it was our turn, and we were told that our flight from seattle (scheduled to leave at 1:30 p.m.) had been cancelled, and we had been reassigned to the red-eye flight leaving at 10:30 p.m. they had also changed our flight from lax, so we wouldn't be trapped in the seattle airport all day. had we known this, we would have just spent the day at home and come later, but somehow we missed this very important notification. diandra had already left and by this time was probaby almost home. so we just decided to take the earlier flight to seattle and spend the day there.

the airport in seattle wasn't crowded, which was nice. and i found a plug in to power my computer. so we read, we used our computers (although not the internet! can you believe an airport without free internet?!?) we ate, and i slept.

yes, i slept. in the airport. i became one of those people who sleep in airports. i've always been one of those people who mock the people who sleep in airports, but now i have become one of them. i was just soooo tired. there is a picture, but it is on rollie's phone, so you are just going to have to imagine it . . .

the airport food was actually pretty good, but expensive. the burger king food was exactly the same as what i get at home, and yet it cost twice as much! AND i couldn't even refill my soda!! although, rollie won a free cheeseburger from some game they had going on. so i redeemed it and figured it was worth more if i used it on an airport burger king burger, since they cost more . . .

it finally became time to board our late night flight. we were both looking forward to sleeping for the next four hours. so we settled into our seats, i got out my inflatable pillow and my polar fleece blanket, and then rollie saw the sign--"seats in this row do not recline." you have got to be kidding me!! the plane was full, so we had no options. i lowered my tray table and slept on that, but poor rollie couldn't get his head onto his tray table, because the guy in front of him was sitting in a seat that DID recline. and he reclined it.

at 7:15 a.m.(orlando time) we staggered off the plane and went to retrieve our luggage. i sat with the carry-ons and tried not to sleep. rollie watched for the bags. his first bag came off. his second bag came off. my bag did not come off. he was soon the only one watching the same few bags going around and around on the luggage rack. and that is when we learned that my bag had gone to san francisco--no one really knows why . . .

so we arrived in orlando late, tired, and without my luggage--which for some reason had decided to visit san francisco--and hot. because even at 8:00 a.m. it was already probably 90 degrees and steamy.

we found our hotel, slept for a few hours, went out and got some food, and slept some more.

and that was the end of day one. well, actually day two, since day one was spent in the seattle airport. since then we have done lots of eating and sleeping. but there have been a few more adventures as well . . .

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

no sleep for the already tired . . .

so today . . . i am so tired, my ears are ringing. that is what happens to me when i am about to hit the wall.

the last few weeks have been very busy, and i have been staying up later than i usually do. but the last several days have been especially hectic. and i am getting ready to go out of town, so there is a lot to do . . .

i don't know why, but i always feel like my house has to be cleaned and orderly before i can leave town. it always looks best just before i am ready to leave for a week or two, but this is never accomplished without staying up most of the night before i leave.

here is what happens--about a week before i know i am going to be gone, i make a list of all the things i "need" to do before i leave. it is quite an extensive list, including everything from doing the laundry to cleaning out the garage. when i make this list, some part of my brain knows that there is no way i will be able to complete the whole list. and yet, apparently a part of my brain thinks that i will, because i write it all down . . . and then i think about the list and plan how to complete the list for the next 3 or 4 days. notice that nothing has actually been done yet, but mentally, i am working on it . . .

about four days before we go, i start talking about all the things i have to do. then i start moving things around a bit, looking for the suitcases, maybe even making a small stack of things i want to be sure to remember to take.

and then, the day before we leave, all you-know-what breaks loose. i start the laundry, i go do the errands, i start cleaning, but then decide i should really pack first. so i pull things out of the closet, but don't really know what i will need, so i add some more stuff. i clean a little bit more, maybe go eat something, and then come back to the packing. i try to identify all the power cords that keep my electronics running, because where i go, so go my electronics. and without those power cords, they are all just hunks of black and silver plastic. i decide i probably don't need 12 pairs of shoes for a 1 week trip, so i put one pair back. i scrub the shower. i think about vacuuming, but then decide that since the dogs will just be walking on the floors while we are gone anyway, maybe that task could wait until we get back. i go to target to get m&m's. target is closed by now, so i come home and pack some leftover chocolate eggs i found when cleaning out the kitchen cabinets--which needed to be done before i could leave town--because, you know, they don't really feed you on airplanes anymore . . .

(perhaps i should mention that by this point, rollie is packed and ready to go, and in bed asleep.)

i start putting things in the suitcase, and realize that i have way too much stuff to take. but what to leave, what to take, decisions, decisions. this is when my brain explodes . . . then i just throw it all in the suitcase, pray the zipper doesn't break, throw my list away, and sleep for 2 or 3 hours in the recliner in the living room. (i do this is so that i can sleep in my clothes and makeup--it buys me another half hour of sleep in the morning.)

tonight, i am nearing the point where my brain explodes. rollie is nestled all snug in his bed, while visions of being first in the security line at lax dance in his head. my clothes have been thrown into the suitcase. i have every confidence that it will either weigh too much, or i will have forgotten something vitally important to my well-being.

did i mention we are going to orlando for 10 days? and while i am expecting lovely warm days in which to lay by the pool with my book while rollie attends business meetings, the forecast is actually predicting 90+ degree temperatures and thunder and lightening storms for the next 7 days. so my actual experience has the potential to be very different from what i am picturing . . . and what in the heck do you wear in weather like that? all my shoes are either sandals or suede. if it rains, i will have to wear my new boots. with my dresses. in california that is acceptable attire--in fact, it is "cool," but in the rest of the world . . . ? i am not so sure . . .

(shhh--don't tell diandra i used this picture. she hasn't edited it yet, but i wanted you to see my new boots. and they are already packed, so i can't take a picture. besides, when she blogs the pics of our "photo shoot" this picture will look much cooler--if she uses it.)

it is now well after midnight. i have dishes waiting to be washed, laundry to be folded, and bathroom stuff and electronics left to be packed. and here i am, blogging. that is how much i love you guys . . . i plan to blog while i am gone, if i have internet access. but just in case the lightening storms take out the power, right after i emit the "scream heard 'round the world" i will pick up a pencil and paper and start making notes. because i know that you will be anxiously waiting for my next blog . . .

Monday, June 22, 2009

photo shoot--out of town

so today . . . was my first official day of summer vacation. yay!! and i got to go to santa barbara with diandra for a photo shoot.

i know i have mentioned before how much i enjoy getting to go on photo shoots with her, but it was especially fun today, because we went out of town. we planned to leave at 11:00 this morning, and did actually leave the house about that time. but by the time we finished making necessary stops, we didn't hit the 605 north until almost 11:45. other than the usual traffic issues that are ever present in certain parts of our city, it was smooth sailing.

until diandra uttered those inevitable words--"can we stop at a bathroom?"

i didn't mind stopping, but we were apparently on a section of hwy 101 which did not have any rest areas. so we drove on. again she asked, "do you think we could stop at a rest area?" yes of course we can, if you can find one . . .

finally the decision was made to just take an exit and hope for the best. but when you go off the highway in an unfamiliar area and you come to the stop sign at the end of the exit, you have to decide which way to go. we chose right, but it turned out to be very, very wrong.

the sign pointing right had said "business district" which said "bathrooms" to me. so we stopped at the first 7-11 we saw. diandra hopped out of the car and was back in about 30 seconds. "no bathroom," she said. we continued down the road until she spied a jack-in-the-box. bingo! we thought. but no--they wouldn't let her use their facilities unless she bought something, and there was a line! so back in the car and on down the road. next we stopped at a gas station, which had a bathroom that they were willing to let her use. but after seeing that it was completely without paper products and had probably not been cleaned since 1967, she quickly passed. our fourth stop turned out to be a winner! it was a wendy's, and the bathroom was clean and available for use--even to non-customers. the lesson we learned? don't go off the exit unless you can SEE what you are looking for . . .

thankfully we had my gps, which got us back on the freeway--no easy task from where we ended up. actually, the gps saved us more than once today . . .

we stopped in montecito so diandra could meet with david jay, a photographer she has admired for quite a while. he was gracious enough to give her some of his time when she contacted him to let him know she would be in town today. he had some great advice for her on how to build her business. i am continually amazed at how so many photographers in our area are willing to help those who are just starting out in the business. there is such a wonderful spirit of community rather than competition. i think it speaks to the character of the people involved in a very positive way.

while they talked at starbucks, i relaxed in the car. it was a beautiful sunny day, but not too warm. it was just a perfect day. i ate half a brownie, read a little of my book, and tried to nap--but people kept getting in and out of their cars, which was a little hard to sleep through . . .

after lunch, we still had about three hours before diandra's photography appointment, so she decided we should take pictures of me. now, you guys know i am not all that photogenic. and while diandra thought i looked "cute" today, i was not really dressed as i would have had i known it was going to be picture day. nor did i have on "total make-up." today i had opted for "minimal make-up." but diandra said she could fix me right up, and we did have three hours to kill . . .

here's the thing--if she can take good pictures of me, she should be able to charge whatever she wants for photo sessions! and people should pay it! i am not kidding you!! here is one photo straight out of the camera. she caught this when we were laughing so hard that she could hardly focus her camera.we had some adventures shooting these pictures, but i am waiting to tell about them until i post the rest of the pictures she took . . .

it was finally time to meet the bride and the groom. the photo shoot today was for post-wedding shots. they are going to be awesome!! the light was beautiful, the people were beautiful, the setting was beautiful . . . how could the photos not be great? check diandra's blog in a couple of weeks to see her pics. but as always, here are a few i shot of her doing her job . . .we ended the evening by eating a delicious mexican dinner with emily and sean. and we hit the freeway home about 9:30 p.m.

it was a long day, but it was also a lot of fun. i have to say, my favorite part was being with diandra when she was taking pictures. i think i am going to like working with her . . .

Sunday, June 21, 2009

happy father's day

so today . . . is father's day. i am fortunate to have two great dads in my life--the one who raised me, and the one who helped raise my precious daughter.

my dad is great! when i was in junior high school, he taught at the same school where i attended. he had the reputation of being a tough teacher, and i guess he was. but to me, he was just my dad. i can remember once when a friend came home from school with me, and i was surprised to learn that she was afraid of him. i couldn't understand how anyone could be afraid of my dad! i thought he was nice! on weekends, we would go to the mountains to go skiing during the winter. dad and i spent lots of hours together standing in line and riding the chair lift together--my brother was always off with his racing team, and my mom wasn't quite as brave as we were (sorry mom, but it's true!) i enjoyed that time of having my dad to myself and of seeing who could spray the most snow on the other one whenever we would stop. and he was always willing to take a break and go inside the lodge for donuts and hot chocolate . . .

my dad was an excellent father. i always knew he loved me and would take care of me. i learned so much from him and feel very fortunate that i got him for a dad!

the other dad in my life is my husband, rollie. he loves being a dad! he never "babysat" diandra--he took care of her because she was his daughter. he played with her, read to her, took her on errands with him. he enjoyed being with her. i have so many pictures of them together, because they like being with each other, but this is one of my favorites . . . they are listening to music--well, actually diandra is listening to music (can you see the enormous headphones she is wearing?) and her daddy is taking a little nap . . . and look at their feet!even today, he spends more time with diandra than i do--because they work together. he is a caring, loving dad who is always has her back. she can depend on him to be there for her, always.

i am so thankful to have these two wonderful men in my life. they have both had an effect on the person i am, and i am grateful that out of all the men He created, God gave me the two of them!

dad and rollie--i love you both! you are the very best dads ever!!!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

a rainy day at the oc swap meet

so today . . . we celebrated diandra's birthday with her. i know, i know, yesterday was her birthday. but there were complications to spending time together then, so we had agreed that we would pretend her birthday was today.

we planned to go to the orange county swap meet. it has rows and rows of stuff that we don't even know we need until we see it. it is a lot of fun!

we left around 8:40 this morning--the plan was 'rears in the rodeo' by 8:30. this is an idea rollie picked up from an episode of "everybody loves raymond," the idea being that if your rear is not in the rodeo (our vehicle of choice today,) you get left. diandra was there! rollie was there!but one of us didn't quite make it. thankfully rollie also learned from that episode, that while you might actually leave your kids or your best friend if they didn't meet the deadline, it was a very unwise idea to leave your wife . . . so they gave me an extra five minutes. and then, after my "rear was in the rodeo," i remembered that we should have sunscreen. after all, even though the sky was overcast at that moment, i was pretty sure it would clear up! so they had to wait while i retrieved the requisite tube from the emergency kit in the back. (yes, we have an emergency kit in the back--we were in rollie's car--remember? boy scout? always prepared? and yes, there is sunscreen in that kit--we live in california!!) so a bit more waiting ensued . . .
we finally hit the road and made the necessary stop at mcdonald's for sausage egg mcmuffins, (a swap meet tradition,) which had to be ordered by number--you know, "i'll have the number 11"--because rollie refuses to say silly food names like "mcmuffins." we got back into the rodeo and hit the 605 south. all was good, until we noticed it was beginning to rain. it was california rain, but it still looked like it might be a little bit damp. we were hoping that it would stop by the time we arrived, but our hopes were flattened when we saw the wet pavement at the fairgrounds. discussion ensued about the merits of waiting in the car for the rain (it was actually more of a light mist, but still, we were all wearing shorts and sandals! ok, rollie didn't have sandals on, but still . . . ) when it appeared as though it was not going to get any better, we got out of the car, leaving the unused sunscreen behind . . .

our first stop was the bathrooms--well, not actually our first stop, because on the way to the bathrooms we did stop at a booth with handbags. but right after that we hit the bathrooms--remember the mcdonald's tradition? that had also included large sodas which had worked their way through our systems . . .

i took this picture of diandra in the bathroom, because the doors were so short that when you stood up, everyone could see your whole head! it was pretty funny to see heads popping up in adjacent stalls. and since no one really noticed those short doors while they were actually using the bathrooms, the reactions when they noticed it was pretty funny. i admit some of the reaction may have been due to my picture taking . . .

the rain kept up and was soon joined by wind. it was cold. it was wet. we were in shorts. rollie thought we should head for the sweatshirt booth, but diandra and i both said no way! we had sweatshirts at home and were not going to spend our limited funds on warm clothes that we were pretty sure we wouldn't need in another hour anyway. so even though we were shivering, we walked on . . .we had to be careful where we walked, because all the booths were covered with tarps, and some were leaking. but the really dangerous ones were the ones that were NOT leaky. the water would surreptitiously build up on those, and then if some innocent, unsuspecting person happened to be walking under one at just the wrong moment . . . that water would suddenly burst out over the top and onto the person. we were spared that fate, but just barely, a couple of times. however, some pretty big drips of water did find their way onto my face under my glasses--such good aim!

one of the things diandra was considering buying today were license plate frames for her new jeep. this booth had lots of choices, and we spent some time reading them and laughing. diandra was pointing one out to rollie that said, "blondes have more fun . . . naturally!" but he noticed the one below it. i'm not going to print what it said, but it was NOT one that she was considering . . .
rollie's goal for the day was to find a bag to pack his suits in for our trip to orlando next week. we are going to attend our church's general convention, and he is a delegate, so suits will probably be the accepted form of dress. since he rarely wears suits anymore, packing was going to be a problem.

rollie is a "hunt it, shoot it, put it in the freezer" kind of shopper. he knows what he wants, he looks until he finds one, he buys it, and then he goes home--he doesn't continue to look to see if he finds something he likes better--he is done. but that process is a little more complicated at the swap meet, because you cannot return something you have purchased. and you can't just stop looking after buying something and go home, because other people may not be finished shopping . . . so after spending much time waiting for us outside of booths with handbags and hair accessories and jewelry and sunglasses and hats, he finally found a suit bag.to his credit, he did not buy the first one he saw, which btw was at the very first booth where diandra and i were looking at handbags. no, he held off until the third booth. i think that shows progress . . .he made another trip back to the car to leave his new bag, and then we had lunch. lunch is rollie's favorite part of the day. he likes the looking and the shopping, but he really enjoys the sitting down and being together and talking about the morning. and yet, it seems that no good deed ever goes unpunished, so while we were deciding what to have, he had to endure diandra and me seat-dancing. this was his reaction . .no, he is not praying for us . . . at least i don't think he is. you would think he would be used to this behavior by now. the head-bobbing, shoulder shimmying always happens whenever good music is playing. and if both diandra and i are there, it is going to be worse . . . one day he won't be able to help himself, and he will join us. but that day was not today . . .

finally he couldn't take it anymore, so he left us and got some lunch, which he said was delicious!and there's the birthday girl, eating a hot dog for lunch--sheesh--you'd think her parents would spring for something a little more special . . .as always, we had a great time--even in the rain. the sun never did come out, but we warmed up a bit as we moved around. and of course, there was a lot more hanging onto each other today. people probably thought we were a very affectionate family--really we were just sucking the body heat out of one another . . .

Friday, June 19, 2009

surprise!

so today . . . is my baby's birthday.

i guess i should quit calling her that--she is now 24 years old!

when rollie and i were first married, we talked about what we thought our family would look like some day. we always thought we would have two children--a boy and a girl. that is the family structure that both of us grew up in, and so that just seemed normal to us. the discussion usually centered around which should come first, the boy or the girl (like we had any choice about it!) i always voted for girl, which is the way it was in my family, and rollie always voted for boy, because that's the way it was in his family.

and then diandra appeared. she was perfect. she was beautiful. she was the world's best baby. not to mention, she was a girl and she was first (i was right~ i was right~)

she was the light of our lives. she grew. she learned to eat real food--even peas. she loved books. and her cinderella video. she can probably still recite every word of that video if she doesn't think about it too hard. she wore pretty dresses and always had one pair of red shoes.

and then one night, she stopped breathing.

she was 16 months old. i was rocking her to sleep, which i did sometimes, when she suddenly stiffened up and arched her back away from me. the pacifier dropped from her mouth, and when i looked at her, i could see she was not breathing. and she was starting to turn bluish . . .

i tried to heimlich her. it didn't help. i ran outside with her to where rollie was, screaming all the way. there were people at the church (which was right by our house) and someone had the sense to call 911, but since we lived so close to the hospital, rollie grabbed her from me and someone drove them to the emergency room. i say drove, but i am sure they flew. i followed as soon as i could, hysterical as i was. all i could think about was, "how can i call my mom and tell her that diandra is gone?!?!?" my mom would brave ice storms in the columbia river gorge to come see that baby. she would drive 7 hours each way just to spend a weekend with her, and i couldn't imagine how i was going to give her the news that i knew i was going to have to deliver.

i just knew she was gone. i knew how long she had been not breathing. i knew that even though we were only maybe three minutes from the hospital, it was going to take precious seconds to explain the problem and get someone to help her. i knew rollie had taken her from me, because he didn't want me to have to cope with what might happen.

it was a nightmare.

i fully expected to hear the worst when i went racing into the emergency room several minutes later. and then i saw rollie's face, and he said, "it's ok, she is breathing." i can't describe the relief i felt. i got weak in the knees, and i then i just lost it. it is always amazing to me how we can hold it together during a crisis, only to fall apart as soon as the danger is over . . .

she spent the night in the hospital for observation, and although i spent the night with her, i didn't sleep much. i kept checking to make sure she was breathing, which i did for many more nights after that. and she was. and has been ever since.

i did not know that i was going to share that story when i started blogging tonight. sometimes something happens to me during the day, and i think to myself, "there's my blog for today." but some days, i really have no idea what i am going to write until i begin. today i had a plan. it is diandra's birthday, so this was going to be a "diandra is my favorite daughter" blog.

but this is the story that came out.

i think diandra would say that her life was mostly happy and peaceful growing up. but she did experience some things that seemed too difficult for someone her age to handle at the time. and yet, she did. her adult life has taken some twists and turns that we would never have imagined. and yet she perseveres. i watch her deal with the difficulties in her life, and then use what she learns to help someone else. i watch her refuse to let other people rob her of who she is. i watch her become stronger and smarter and more compassionate. while her very difficult circumstances have had an effect on her, they have not destroyed her.

we sing a song at church that says, "i'm pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. i am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure, and His joy's going to be my strength. though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning."

i have found that to be true, over and over again.

i don't know why things happen the way they do, but i am very grateful that on october 31, 1986, diandra started breathing again. as it turns out, not only was she our first child, she is our only child. and while that was not our original "plan," for us, it has been the perfect plan. we have enjoyed her, and loved her every day of her life. i am so proud of her and who she is becoming. it isn't always easy, but she is making her life work! and although she doesn't really eat peas anymore, she is still the light of our life!

i love you diandra! you will always be my favorite daughter!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

not quite done yet . . .

so today . . . . AAAGGGHHHHH!!! tomorrow is my last day of school for the year. which should be cause for celebration, and it is, but i have so much to do and not nearly enough time in which to do it! i am in a pickle!!

first of all, tomorrow is diandra's birthday and she has high expectations for what that means. usually i am up to the challenge, but i had to work an extra week this year, so i have not had adequate time to prepare . . . i am afraid she is going to be somewhat underwhelmed by my plans.

AND tomorrow i am meeting with the teacher who is going to be teaching my new crop of kindergarteners for the summer, while i am on 'vacation.' it would probably be nice if the kindergarten room looked inviting and maybe even a little bit spiffy. but as of 3:30 this afternoon when i left . . . it was neither. i've been moving all my stuff back in from the classroom i shared this year, and somehow it does not all seem to fit back into the space it came out of. contrary to what you are thinking, i did NOT add any new stuff this year. maybe i just don't remember how i had it all put away. all i know is, my cupboards are full and there is still stuff sitting on the tables. and i only work half a day tomorrow. i do not have high hopes of a relaxing last day of school. there probably won't even be any presents, because no one really knows it is my last day. not that it matters . . .

AND farm town is acting weird tonight. my mom had to actually call me on the phone, because it wouldn't let us talk to each other. and then one of my new neighbors came to my farm to harvest, and i couldn't see her. she kept saying she was standing right in front of me, but it looked to me like i was all alone on my big, beautiful, successful farm. (did i mention i am kind of a farm town tycoon?) and then my mom came to harvest my farm, but the crops were still there after she harvested, at least on my computer. no one else could see them, but i haven't been paid for them, and i can still see them. it was not my day on farm town, tycoon or not . . .

AND we finally got a bass player for our band. but she is pretty new at the whole bass playing thing. so she needs some extra practice outside of rehearsal. and since i am going to be out of town for 10 days, and then come home briefly before being gone for another week, i need to get her practice music ready. copying the lead sheets won't be a problem, but making cds is always a challenge for me--i am somewhat skills challenged when it comes to getting digital files onto small silvery discs.

AND although i did report cards yesterday, i still need to make the picture cds for my boys of the pictures i have taken of them throughout the year, and all their artwork that i scanned into the computer. i did a pretty good job of keeping that up to date until about a month ago (hmmm, could that be about the time i started playing farm town?) but i took a lot of pictures at the aquarium on tuesday. so i need to get those sorted into the right folders and label everything and burn cds--hopefully without any glitches. but of course, there are always glitches when i try to burn a cd.

AND, did i mention i am trying to get ready to go out of town for 10 days? but first we need to celebrate diandra's birthday, and there will be laundry to do before we can pack, and milo's nails need to be trimmed again (which is always a job for me and whatever army i can recruit,) and i am going to santa barbara on monday with diandra for a photo shoot, and did i mention that tomorrow she will be turning 24 and would probably like to celebrate a bit?!?!?!

i had great plans tonight of making some progress here--i wanted to at least get those cds made! but rollie wanted real food for dinner--not fast food (no, i didn't cook--but we took the time to eat at a real restaurant instead of one with a drive-thru!) and then my mom called me on the phone to alert me to our farm town issues (because it wouldn't even let us chat,) and then when i went to write my blog, i realized that i hadn't read any of the blogs i follow for the last couple of days . . . so of course, i had to get caught up. and now, even though it is only 10:30, my eyes are sandpapery, and i am fading fast. my inclination is to just stay up late tonight, get everything done, and sleep later. but that is what i have been doing for the last couple of weeks. i am beginning to wonder when 'later' is going to arrive. i'm so tired, my ears are ringing.

so i'm headed for bed. it can all wait until tomorrow.

except for the blog . . .

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

oh, fiddlesticks!

so today . . . i am reposting my favorite myspace blog of all time. that's maybe not saying a lot, since i only blogged a little over a year there, but still . . .

this is the very first blog i ever wrote, before i even knew about internet blogging! but interestingly enough, you will notice how it starts . . .

part of the humor from the story comes from the fact that the punchline was delivered very innocently by a very quiet little boy who has wonderful, calm, loving parents. but that just made it all the more unexpected and hilarious.

this was originally written on friday, may 25, 2007

So today I was reading a story to my class of kindergarteners. It was a funny book about a family of foxes and part of the fun was that most of the words began with the letter "f." But to make this work, there were a lot of words that were somewhat obscure and unfamiliar to the kids. They kept stopping me and asking "What does that word mean?" At one point someone asked what the word "fiddlesticks" meant. I was trying to explain that it was an expression someone might use, for example, if they were frustrated. One little boy frantically waved his hand in the air and said, "You mean like 'oh crap'?"

i couldn't help myself. i laughed. and then i said, "yes, exactly like that."

i find it hard to believe that either of his parents would use that particular expression, but obviously he had heard it somewhere. if parents only knew half of what their little darlings tell their teachers . . .

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

our last big hurrah!

so today . . . was the big day! it was the day of the kindergarten end of the year field trip!

we went to the long beach aquarium, because you know those boys LOVE sharks!! diandra came with us--she usually does--and we took her jeep. that was almost adventure enough for joshua and jonathan! when we got to the aquarium, we bought our tickets and headed straight for the sharks. we spent some time at the touching pool, watching them NOT touch anything. for boys that talk about sharks so much, they were not all that brave about touching anything underwater. but diandra was very patient and finally had some success at getting their fingers in the water. by the time she got done with them, they were wet up to their shoulders and had touched baby sharks and bat rays.then we went into the lorikeet habitat. let me just say that those birds act like they own the place. really. it's like they challenge each other to see how close they can fly to people's heads. i am amazed that we all made it out without having had a close encounter of the painful kind with those colorful little birds. diandra bought nectar, but none of the birds were interested in her at all--unlike the guys guarding the doors . . .

there were a lot of kids there today, with schools and summer camps, and as we were getting out of her jeep one little kid said to his mom, "look, there's a movie star!" and she did kind of look like someone going incognito--you know, white blouse, denim shorts, boots, long blonde hair and enormous sunglasses. and we do see movies stars occasionally here. well, ok, we don't, but some people do. although we did ride a ride at california adventure with tara lipinsky one time . . . i have pictures to prove it. yes, i took pictures--i'm that person.

but back to the lorikeets . . . jonathan was pretty brave about the whole thing, but joshua looked like he thought they were going to attack him at any minute. he was not feeling comfortable at all! so he hid behind me while diandra tried to convince a lorikeet to sit on her hand and drink some nectar. she finally found a cooperative bird . . .
and then, it was lunch time. i don't know why lunch holds such importance when we are on a field trip, but it is all anyone can think about until we sit down, zip open those back packs, and eat the chips and cookies that we normally don't get for lunch. oh yeah, and the sandwiches too . . . diandra had been asking about lunch since 10:30, and we didn't even get to the aquarium until 10:00! we chose a table in the shade and started to sit down, but joshua was looking at it and making a face. i asked him what was wrong, and he said, "this table is too dirty!" so we kept looking until we found one that met his standards.

as we dived into our lunches, we realized that all of us had meat and cheese sandwiches. and chips. although joshua made the observation that the rest of us had orange chips, and his were tan with brown spots. i was thinking "yuck" until i saw that he was talking about his chocolate chip cookies. why he was calling them chips, i do not know.
as we sat munching our matching sandwiches, joshua looks at diandra and says, "so, are you 16?" she said, no, she was older than that. then he guessed 17, and again she said, no, older than that. so he guessed 19, then 20, then 21, and 22, and when she still said older, he skipped all the way to 30! she was somewhat alarmed by this! i was thinking it was pretty funny--he guessed all the way up to almost her age, and then skipped way ahead.

after lunch we went in to look at the indoor exhibits. the coolest thing we saw were divers feeding the fish in the big tank. there was one diver feeding sharks right by the window, so the boys got to see it up close and personal. i was taking pictures of them, and the diver took his mouthpiece out and smiled! it was so funny!it was a fun day at the aquarium. everyone had a great time--diandra was mistakenly identified as a movie star, jonathan and joshua touched sharks, and i got paid to spend the day at the aquarium instead of in the classroom . . . it's too bad every day can't be field trip day!

Monday, June 15, 2009

i've grown accustomed to her "voice"

so today . . . i miss my mom. she is at the beach with my dad, sister-in-law, and nephew for a few days.

she lives 1000 miles away from me, so you wouldn't think it would matter if she is at home or if she is an hour away at the beach. but it does matter, because there is no internet access at the beach . . .

my mom embraces electronics and what they can do to enhance our lives. she was one of the first people i knew to get a palm pda, and she still says that if she could only have one electronic device, that is the one she would keep. her whole life is in that thing! she has a powerful desktop computer and two laptops (one for her and one for my dad.) she has an ipod and a speaker system for it. she has a digital camera and video camera. she has a cell phone, (although we are still working on the whole texting thing . . .) she is working on digitizing her slides and photos. in her defense, in case she needs one, many of her purchases have come after she has seen what we do with our electronics . . . so i take some of the credit. or blame, depending on how you look at it.

one day i was on facebook, and my aunt kaye im'd me. aunt kaye is my mom's sister, and after talking for a few minutes, she said, "i am on the phone with your mom, telling her that we are talking on facebook!" this just cracked me up!! i could just see my aunt, cell phone in one hand, eyes on the computer, talking to both of us. and then she said, "we have to get your mom on facebook!" i did not think this was ever going to happen, but my aunt kaye is very persistent--and cheerful, which is a deadly combination :) it is hard to tell her no, and so it wasn't very long before my mom was on facebook.

she was a ghost person for a while--you know, no profile picture. i was going to help her with that, but she figured it out all by herself. she added a few friends, and superpoke pets. her pet is a cute little white rabbit named snowflake. as i may have mentioned before, this app is like playing with colorforms--you choose a background, and then decorate it with things that you can "buy" with points that you earn by participating and getting your friends to play as well. it's fun, but it is very low maintenance.

and then, we discovered farm town.

farm town is definitely NOT low maintenance. farm town requires almost daily attention or your crops will die, and you will lose money. well, "money." what has evolved is this little group of farm town friends--my mom, two friends i used to teach with that live in different parts of oregon, and a friend who lives here that i rarely see. we are all on and off facebook all day now, checking on our farms. and we are almost always online in the evenings, harvesting, plowing, planting, and most importantly, talking.

this has been going on for a few weeks, and i have become accustomed to being able to talk to my mom several times a day online. but as i mentioned, she is at the beach now and has no internet access. being the responsible farmer she is, she planted long term crops before she left, so that she wouldn't come home to a dead farm. but that doesn't help me!

it isn't that i really have anything i need to tell her. that's the beauty of chatting online--you don't have to have anything important to say. you just start out with, "hi! what are you up to?" and then go from there. but i've found that i like hearing her "voice" every day, and now i miss it when she isn't there.

i think she is either going to have to stop going places without internet access, or she is going to have to add texting to her cell phone plan . . . i can live with either option :)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

a typical sunday

so today . . . was a typical sunday--church in the morning, lunch at subway, short nap, leadership meeting in the afternoon, dinner at rubio's, come home for computer time and tv, and then bed. usually something will happen for me to write about, or at the very least, i will think about something that i think will be interesting to write about. but not today . . .

i didn't really have any thoughts today. i mean, not the rambling, out in left field kind that make for a good blog. my brain stayed occupied with whatever was happening around me, without wandering about on it's own. that does not make for good blog writing. at least not on a sunday . . .

and then tonight i spent quite a while talking to diandra, who just got home from shooting the wedding of one of her college roommates. she was gone all weekend, and i was curious about how it went. and, of course, we had to look at a small portion of the hundreds of photos that were recorded. she took some beautiful shots, even right out of the camera. i can't wait to see the final results . . . check out her blog later this week--there will be lovely photos, and a pretty funny story about four wheel drive and a rogue gps, i hope.

the bride and groom are honeymooning in fiji. i happen to know where that is now, because last week joshua asked me, "where's fiji?" so we searched our globe until we found it. it is pretty small. i asked how he knew about fiji and he said he saw something about it on tv. then he proceeded to tell me all about it. joshua says that his mom says he can go there. i'm sure she means some day, when he is a grown up and saves enough money. he thinks she is taking him there this summer . . .

summer camp might be a bit of a disappointment, if you are expecting to go to fiji.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

a day at the park

so today . . . i got the pictures out of my camera from the picnic yesterday. i got some very cute images of some of the kids. so this is going to be a photo-intensive blog.

there is not room on this blog to detail all that happened. start by imagining walking about a mile with thirty 4 and 5 year olds--all carrying their own lunches and holding hands with whoever picked them as a partner, even though they wanted to be someone else's partner. imagine trying to get them all across the street, in the crosswalk, before the light changes. imagine how high a child can jump when the dogs in the yard they are going past suddenly bark really really loudly. imagine dropped lunch boxes, floppy shoelaces, and the threat of rain. that's how the day began . . .

when we got to the park, the lunches and coats were quickly abandoned, while every child started yelling and running--to nowhere in particular, but just because they could. they were so glad to be outside!! the church where our school meets is currently undergoing some construction, so we have not been able to play outside since christmas. it sort of had the desperate feel of inmates suddenly escaping . . .

there were five teachers to corral this bunch. it quickly became clear that we needed to spread out. i chose the top of the hill. this park has a big hill with a large flat area at the top, but all the play equipment is at the bottom of the hill. however, the kids love to climb to the top of the hill and then either roll down or run out of control to the bottom. the only problem with that is, if they decide to keep going instead of coming back down, they are quickly out of our sight. so my job was to make sure we didn't lose anyone off the back of the hill.

so i am standing at the top of this big hill surrounded by a large open field. i am all alone, because so far, the kids are doing what they are supposed to be doing and not coming up too far. pretty soon i hear this little voice, "ms. julie! ms. julie!" i look around and see joshua at the bottom of the hill. "what!" i yell back. "be careful up there," he says. i'm thinking, careful of what? there's nobody up here. i am blissfully alone. and then he says, "there's a storm coming! the lightening might get you!" it was kind of a stormy day today. in fact, on the way over i had heard, "it's raining, it's raining!" which it wasn't. but whenever a few drops of moisture fall from the sky, our california kids think it is raining. in their defense, the sky was pretty dark.
so i make a plan for what to do if lightening strikes--or if i think it is going to strike. and then i start thinking about lightening, and why God made it so that the lightening strikes first and then the thunder comes. because as i am standing in that big empty field, i am thinking, "how am i going to know if lightening is about to strike so that i can put my plan into effect?" (maybe i should mention that my plan is pretty much to throw myself onto the ground and be as flat as i can be . . . ) and i think, "i'll bet far less people would get struck by lightening if the thunder came first, as a warning, and THEN the lightening would strike." but you know, hindsight is always 20/20. if only God had had the benefit of my thoughts when He was doing all that creating . . .

as it turns out, there is no lightening, no thunder, no rain--just a bunch of clouds. i am pretty happy up there on that hill, though. for a while. and then i start looking at my watch. and thinking about my sandwich. and wishing it would rain so we could go back . . . ok, well maybe not real, oregon rain, but the kind that will force us to pack up and leave. because i'm getting kind of tired of standing on that hill, all by myself. and then megan runs up to me, yelling, "ms. joolie! ms. joolie!" (she pronounces that "oo" sound like in the word book, not like the "oo" in the word pool--hmmm, book, pool, am i thinking about summer yet?!?) she comes racing up the hill toward me with weed flowers in her hand. she looks ecstatic, and i think, "i wish i had my camera! oh wait--i do have my camera!" so i pull it out, and she stops and poses! not exactly what i was hoping for, but i take the picture anyway.now that i have my camera, i am not watching the clock anymore--although i am still thinking about my sandwich, and before too long i creep down the hill, sneak my sandwich back up the hill and put it in my camera bag--since my camera is now in my hand. this enables me to successfully sneak eating my sandwich before lunch time. hehehe . . .

some of the girls were really into picking weed flowers. it held their attention long after i had lost interest--even with my camera!even one of the boys got into the act . . .then, there were the silly faces . . .and even some cute ones . . .and i want to leave you with a couple of pictures of joshua being silly. what will i do next year without him?!?so the kids had a fun day, the teachers survived, and lightening did not strike. not even once.

what day is it again???

so today . . . it is really tomorrow.

i spent the whole afternoon and evening playing on my virtual farm. i really love the way it is turning out, but i had to move things repeatedly to get it to where i liked it.

i'm a perfectionist, and tonight it cost me. if only everything didn't have to be perfect, i would have been done much earlier. but i moved fences and pathways and trees several times in order to get them just where i wanted them. so now it is actually 12:50 a.m. saturday morning, although it is going to post at 11:54 p.m. on friday night.

here is my dark little secret--i can manipulate the time my blogs post. really, i can. so, mom, those nights when my blog posts at 11:54ish . . . it was really well past midnight before i got done. but again, perfectionist that i am, i want to post one blog every day--not skip one day, post in the early morning hours, and then post again that night. that would just be wrong. i am not going to post two blogs on one day. nonononononono! not happening.

i had a good blog rolling around in my head today, too. we took the school kids on a walking field trip to the park, and i was going to write about it. i have pictures and everything. so i am thinking that i will write about it tomorrow, even though it happened today.

that will make tomorrow's blog so yesterday . . . instead of so today . . . even though today's blog was, in reality, so tomorrow . . .

don't even try to figure it out. your head might explode! i know mine is threatening to do just that if i don't lay it on a pillow within the next ten minutes . . .

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"it's a surprise!"

so today . . . i'm going to repost a funny story from the end of last year, because yesterday i ended up writing a new post. and this is an "end of the school year" story . . .

so, as i said yesterday, the end of the year is a time when parents tend to show their appreciation for their child's teacher by sending a gift. teacher gifts are an unpredictable entity. you cannot predict who will bring a gift or what it will be. i have been surprised more than once on the last day of school. my gifts in the past have ranged from a box of tea bags to a beautiful shiny red "guess" tote bag, but the majority tend toward lotion or gift cards. which i love--you can never have enough lotion, and gift cards let me shop in the summer when i am without a paycheck!

the kids are usually just as excited as i am to see what is inside when the wrapping paper is ripped off! i find that generally they have no idea what will be revealed. mom shopped, purchased, and wrapped without their knowledge. then, right before they walk into the classroom on the last day of school, mom puts the package in their little hands and says, "take this in, and give it to your teacher." it has to be kind of disappointing for a 6 year old to have a lovely gift handed to them, only to have to give it up two minutes later. but since they love me (yes they do!) and once they see what is inside, they are happy to take the credit for the thoughtfulness of the gift and wonder why their teacher is so happy to get a candle . . .

this blog was originally posted on monday, june 9, 2008. i had 16 students last year, and it seemed like there was so much paperwork that had to be completed before we could close the school year. graduation was coming up on wednesday night, which meant a good portion of the next few days would be spent practicing for that. and then our class field trip would take all day thursday, with friday being my last day of school. so i had a lot to do and very little time in which to do it. i was somewhat distracted by that . . .

so today i am sitting at my desk, swamped with end of the year stuff, trying to sort it all out before friday. and i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and hopeless. then one of my little dumplings comes to my desk and says, "i got you a gift." now i like presents, so she's got my attention, and yet kindergarteners sometimes live in their own little imaginary worlds where "i got you a gift" really means "i would get you one if i could, and i thought about it, but i can't drive so how would i get to the mall, even if i had any money?!?!?!?" and i don't want her to feel bad if that is the case. so i say, "oh how nice." i think that is noncommittal enough that if it turns out the gift was all in her head, she won't feel like "aagghhhh, my teacher expects me to bring her something!!" then she says, "you know, like a present." so i say "how thoughtful of you." meanwhile i continue shuffling the papers on my desk, because if the gift does exist, my guess is that she is not supposed to be telling me about it today. but she persists--"it's a necklace." "oh" i say, "i like necklaces." and now i'm thinking that this is getting pretty specific, so maybe this gift really does exist, and i'm pretty sure she shouldn't be telling me about it--but now my curiosity is piqued. she says, "do you want me to tell you what color it is?"

ok, i admit it--she's got me! so i stop moving the papers around on my desk and look at her and say, "sure!"

to which she replies, "i can't tell you! it's a surprise!!"

unexpected treasure . . .

so today . . . i got a gift from one of my students. this is not an unusual occurrence at the end of the year. many times parents take this opportunity to show their appreciation for all the hard work a teacher has invested in their child over the last year. and invest, we do . . .

both of my parents are teachers. i don't really remember either of them bringing home "end of the year" teacher gifts. my dad taught jr. high earth science, and by the time kids are in jr. high their parents have kind of left the teacher gift idea behind. i guess if your child has 6 or 7 teachers instead of just one, gifts for everyone can be quite an expense. although, if you think about it, no one deserves an appreciation gift more than a jr. high teacher!!

my mom mostly taught second grade--she should have received gifts, but i don't remember very many . . . what i do remember is going to school with her on the last teacher workday of the year.

i always loved being at school with my mom. usually i would be the only non-adult in the school on that last workday. i would help take down bulletin boards, put stuff away, clean tables, whatever a 10 or 12 year old could do to help "batten down the hatches" for the summer. i loved the books and the papers and the smell of the room--it was kind of a mixture of chalk dust, text books, and crayons. when we got done, her room would be like a blank slate, just waiting for her to start all over again in the fall.

but my absolute favorite part of the day was that magic moment when i would open the top desk drawer in her big teacher desk . . . that is where she kept the confiscated toys that had accumulated over the past year. toys from home were not allowed at school, and if you brought one into my mom's classroom and she saw you playing with it, it no longer belonged to you--it belonged to her! there were ways of getting the toy back, but most required a parent's intervention, and who wants to tell their mom or dad that they broke the rules and now the teacher has their toy and they can't have it back unless you come and get it?!?

so by the end of the year, there could be quite an assortment of contraband in that desk drawer . . .

i remember most of the toys as being "boy" stuff--matchbox cars, marbles, small balls, army men. i guess boys were more inclined to try to bring something in their pockets than the girls were. of course, the boys had pockets--little girl clothing didn't really include that feature very often, which made it tricky to hide something from your mom or dad and get it to school undetected (especially since backpacks hadn't been invented yet. :) ) then again, maybe the little girls were just more devious when it came to hiding their treasures from the teacher . . .

i didn't care that it was mostly boy stuff. to me it was as good as a gift--opening that drawer was like ripping the wrapping paper off a box, and i knew i wanted whatever was in there before i even knew what it was. i usually got to claim those treasures as my own, although sometimes sharing with my little brother was a necessary evil. it didn't matter that these were not things i would choose for myself as toys. it didn't matter that they had belonged to someone else for a while. it didn't even matter that i would probably never play with them. the important thing was, they were an unexpected bonus--a surprise that i got to enjoy simply because my mom was the teacher.

i still remember that flutter of excitement, that promise of possibilities that i experienced on the day after the last day of school when i opened that top drawer in my mom's big desk. it's the same feeling i got today when jonathan handed me that little green gift bag . . .

as i said, i love presents. and i have a funny blog i wrote last year about an end of the year gift, which i was going to re-post today. but then i started writing the introduction for it, and look what happened . . .

so, i will re-post that blog tomorrow. right now, i have to go open the box that came for me in the mail today. it isn't a gift--it is something i ordered. but it still needs to be opened. and i've never seen it in person before, so it will kind of be a surprise. and who knows? maybe it will be even better than i expect it to be. it's all about the promise of possibilities . . .

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

the class of 2009? really?!?!?

so today . . . was our preschool and kindergarten graduation.

there is soooo much i could write about this. it is both a circus and a nightmare. i am sure the parents love it--they must, because they swarm to it every year. but as a teacher, i dread the day and thank God when it is over . . .

let's just say i had the beginnings of a migraine within the first five minutes. and it was all downhill from there.

i don't want to sound too negative (i know, it is already too late for that,) but i am somewhat jaded by the whole graduation thing. i mean, really, graduation from preschool? from kindergarten?? does anyone NOT graduate from preschool or kindergarten? i don't think so. so why do it? it just adds stress to everyone's lives, and do we really need more stress in our lives?

we practice for this performance for weeks. we purchase or make costumes. we remind the parents to be there early if they want photos of their child in graduation garb. we put the pressure of making a speech on a five year old. we walk down the aisle to pomp and circumstance. we expect 4 and 5 year old children to sit still while wearing hot robes and mortarboards that won't stay on their tiny little heads, while an adult makes a speech that no one is listening to. really. i am not making this up.

and then, in the space of half an hour, it is all over. and nothing has really changed. when they come to school tomorrow, they will sit in the same classroom with the same teacher and do the same things they have been doing for the last nine months. then in the fall they will move onto the next grade, as they would have even without the ceremony.

this ceremony is all for the adults--not the children. the children have no idea why they are wearing these "dresses," and why the tassel has to hang off the front of the hat where it can tickle their face, and why they are handed a blank piece of paper, rolled up and tied with a ribbon, while their real "diploma" has already been handed to their mom or dad so as not to get crumpled. they don't know when to sit and when to stand. they don't know why that guy is up there talking, and why they have to be there to hear it. and most of all, they don't understand why they can't just go sit with their parents--they are back there, the kids can see them if they turn around in their seats, which the teacher has repeatedly told them not to do, but mom and dad and grandma and grandpa and all the aunts and uncles and cousins are sitting back there, so why can't they go too?!?!

the other day rollie said to me, "you need to stop thinking of this as a performance, and start thinking of it as a photo opportunity for the parents." that was helpful to me. i know that as a parent, you want to remember every milestone your child faces. but i guess my question is, can't we enjoy the passing from one "grade" to the next without having to have a graduation ceremony? can't we just say "good job," eat some ice cream, and move on?

it has been a rough year for me. and tonight i am tired, and i have a headache. i have no more patience for parents pushing their kids. let them be kids! let them squish jello between their fingers. let them pretend to be a dinosaur--even if you are in the grocery store and people are looking at them like they aren't normal. let them get an answer wrong without ridiculing them--maybe they just don't know the right answer yet . . . childhood lasts such a short time, and they have to be grown-ups for so long. remember that they are not 10 years old, or 14 years old, and stop expecting them to act like they are!!

as the children left the sanctuary in their graduation gowns, they were announced as "the class of 2009!" and i am thinking, really? because i am pretty sure none of these children are heading off to the university in the fall. this was mostly the class of 2022 tonight. instead of applauding their "accomplishment" of completing preschool or kindertarten, let's think about how soon that high school graduation will be here, and what kind of people we are training them to be. let's quit worrying about if they can read when they are 4 and start worrying about if we are raising them to be a generation of competent, compassionate adults. because from my observations, there seems to be a shortage of those around here . . .

whew! ok, then . . . i guess i had some stuff to get off my chest. but i want to leave you with a smile, so here is something funny joshua said to me today. jonathan went home early, so when it was time to go use the bathroom, it was just joshua and me. when we started to wash our hands, i looked in the mirror and said, "uh oh--look at my hair. i guess i will have to fix it before graduation tonight." joshua said, "why?" i said, "well, i don't think it looks very good--i just dried it after i washed it this morning, and it is kind of sticking out everywhere." he looked at me for a minute, and then said, "you don't look so bad to me."

maybe instead of teaching them to tell time, i should have taught them about giving compliments. after all, they can always use a digital clock . . .

Monday, June 8, 2009

a new job?

so today . . . the word is out! it looks like diandra and i are going into business together.

last tuesday, i got a text message from her at about 2:00. "hi," it said. i texted back, "hi." her next message said, "how's your day going?" i'm sure she was sorry she asked . . .

i was not having a good day--not a good day at all! i was ready to throw in my teaching towel and give telemarketing a try. it was that bad! after i got done ranting and raving to her, she texted, "maybe we should go into business together." and that got us to talking.

there are days when i love my job, and there are days when i would rather lick a tire than go to work. lately, having a job that would put me in a cubicle with a computer has started to have some appeal. ideally i think i would like to be able to work from home, but i don't want to stuff envelopes or assemble beaded bracelets or trick other people into sending me money by promising "they too can work from home . . . " so when diandra voiced those words, i thought, yes maybe we should. she said she was serious, so when i got home we started talking about it . . .

diandra already has a developing photography business, but she is quickly finding that owning a business isn't all about taking beautiful photographs. there is a lot of record keeping, bookkeeping, mailing, and just general computer and office-type work that also has to be done. and it is time consuming. as we talked, we realized that our skills mesh perfectly. we each bring different strengths to the table, we enjoy different parts of the process, and together, i think we will make a good team.so we got out paper and pen (because we LOVE office supplies) and started making lists--all the tasks that need to be done, all the supplies we will need, who will do which tasks, and where our office will be (the scary room will finally have a purpose, and i will have motivation to clean it out!) we discussed colored file folders and post it notes with our names on them and filing systems and how to keep track of everything. when discussing the bookkeeping, we realized that she was soon going to need to be able to accept debit and credit cards for payment. suddenly we looked at each other and said, "there's an app for that!" with visions of new iphones dancing in our heads. (does apple have the most amazing advertising people or what?!?)

for those of you who follow diandra's blog, don't worry! my responsibilities will NOT include taking photographs (even though i love to!) she will still be the one capturing those beautiful images we have come to expect--except for those times i can lurk in the background and take pictures of her taking pictures.i am really excited! i think the day is coming when lifestyle photography will be a full time business for her, and i am thrilled to get to be a part of it. i can't quit my day job just yet, but working out of our new office (previously referred to as "the sewing room"--because the sewing machine is in there, or "the scrapbooking room"--same reason, or "the scary room"--because it is also where we put everything we don't know what to do with, so it gets a little scary in there,) is a much better alternative than the cubicle i was thinking of . . .

and just to show why SHE is the photographer, and i am not, here is a photo she took of herself. is that the coolest picture of a girl behind a camera ever?!?!
you can see why i am anxious to be her support person. clearly she is talented, but sometimes it takes more than talent to be successful. and as you all know, behind every successful person is a mom :)