lessons from my lunch

so today . . . i had lunch at chick-fil-a.

when i started working at my current job, the hours were somewhat negotiable. while i didn't get exactly what i wanted, they came pretty close. i chose to take just half an hour for lunch and go home half an hour earlier. most days it works for me--that is enough time for me to eat at school (or dash to 7-11 for brownies,) and i like getting home a bit earlier in the afternoon. but this year it was necessary for the school to make some adjustments which resulted in an hour long lunch for me on mondays and wednesdays. since i have a full hour, i like to go off site, and i seem to have settled on chick-fil-a as my destination of choice. there are other fast food places i could choose that are all within a couple of miles of my school, but i find myself going back to chick-fil-a most of the time.

today as i pointed my car in the direction of chick-fil-a, i started thinking about why i keep going back, monday after wednesday after monday. and as i thought about it, this is what i came up with:

THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY I LIKE TO EAT AT CHICK-FIL-A.

10. it is close. although i have an hour, i don't want to spend any more time than i have to getting there (even though i am getting there in my cool car.) the longer it takes me to go back and forth, the less time i have to eat. and read.
9. they serve chicken. chicken is good for me, right?
8. they have cross-cut fries. ok, i know they are not good for me, but crispy cross-cut fries are hard to resist. and if i get them in a . . .
7. kid's meal, then i only get a few. also, a kid's meal comes with a toy. i can either put the toy in the treasure chest at school, OR . . .
6. trade it in for ice cream. well, actually they call it ice dream, and i am not exactly sure what it is made from--probably plastics--but it is pretty good. especially if i buy a brownie to put under it. yum!
5. they have self-serve ranch dressing (or any other dipping sauce you want!) the ranch dressing is right out there where i can get my own. as much as i want! no more asking for three ranch dressings and having the employee look at me like, "seriously?!?! three??? you are only getting four chicken nuggets, and you are asking for three ranch dressings?? are you stockpiling this stuff or what . . . "
4. their drinks come in styrofoam cups. i know it is bad for the environment, but styrofoam doesn't sweat like paper or plastic cups. and when i take my refilled soda back to my classroom, i find it helpful if it doesn't make a big puddle of water on my desk . . . and i recycle my cans and use reusable shopping bags most of the time, so i figure it all evens out.
3. they have huge windows and good lighting. this is important, because one of the things that makes my monday and wednesday lunch hours so great is the uninterrupted time to read. the only place that has better lighting is del taco on a really nice day, if i eat outside. but del taco does not have nine other great things about it--it only has maybe four.
2. the employees are helpful and cheerful. usually there is one employee roaming around the room cleaning tables or asking if they can go get a soda refill for you or if you want them to bring you anything (like another ranch dressing.) yeah, they do all this stuff and don't even expect a tip!

and the #1 reason i like to eat at chick-fil-a . . .

1. when i say thank you to an employee, any employee, they always respond with the words "my pleasure!" i like that. it is so much nicer than saying "you're welcome." "you're welcome" satisfies the conventions of politeness, but it sort of implies that they have done you a favor. when they respond with "my pleasure," it makes me feel like they were glad to help me--like they aren't just responding to my thank you, but that they loved being able to help me. and even though i know it is company policy, it always makes me feel good. and i think it makes a difference in everybody's attitude.

the other day when i was there, a new guy was working behind the cash register. when i thanked him and he responded with "my pleasure," i smiled and said, "that is my favorite thing about eating here. when i hear you guys say that, it always makes me smile." and so, he smiled and said it again. a little while later, he was the room-roaming employee checking up on people's drink refills and napkin needs. when he came to my table and asked if i needed anything, i said no, but thank you. he smiled and moved on. then he backed up, looked right at me, and said, "my pleasure." it made me laugh, because sometimes it does get a little ridiculous. i could have made him say that 47 times if i had wanted to.

but i do think the words we use can make a difference--not only in how others feel and respond to us, but also in how we feel and respond to others.

as a pre-school and kindergarten teacher, i have been asked to tie a tiny tot's shoelaces probably hundreds of times. or sharpen a pencil. or zip a jacket. and i used to just kind of do it on auto pilot--i didn't really mind helping them, but i also didn't give it much thought or attention. but now, after going to chick-fil-a and seeing how the words "my pleasure" can affect how i feel, i've decided to use different words when helping my students. now, when a child asks me for help, i try to respond with the words "i'd be delighted to . . . !" and i find that many times i am. it changes the attitude of the situation from "ok, let's get this done and move on to other things," to "here, let's spend a few minutes together doing this."

it seems like a small thing, but as i have said before, words are important and they make a difference. so feel free to use the words "my pleasure" or "i'd be delighted to" as often as you can, and see how it affects your world. i know it is making a difference in mine!

finally--the funny comes out!

so today . . . i laughed out loud at my school kids for the first time this year.

it has been a rough start to a new school year. our school is going through some transitions that have been difficult to deal with at times, so the mood among the staff is somewhat less than relaxed. and in the pre-k/kindergarten classrooms we have our hands full with behavior issues as well. it tends to make our days somewhat stressful, which probably doesn't help the atmosphere, but we are working on it.

i am just trying to keep my head above water. i have a pre-k/kindergarten combo class, and integrating their curriculums while trying to address different weekly themes than i am used to just puts my brain into overload some days. and i was having one of those days today. so this afternoon i was transitioning my kindergarteners from a short playtime into an art activity, and they were asking if we were going to paint (their favorite thing!) i said yes, we were going to use paint, but in a specific way. and one little girl said, "oh i know! we are going to paint ocean pictures." huh? and she continued, "well, you said we were going to paint in a pacific way!" i started to chuckle and then another little girl said, "no, she didn't say pacific, she said spafissick." i laughed and said, "what did you say?" and she said it again, "spafissick!" we tried it over and over again, but she just could not say it. she could say each syllable if i said it slowly enough, but she could not get the whole word out.

so then i asked them, "do you know what specific means?" and the first little girl raised her hand and said, "i already told you--it's the ocean!"

out of the blue . . .

so today . . . my blog will be short, because i am processing some terrible news.

one of diandra's childhood friends is gone. just like that.

ethan and diandra were not best friends, probably, but they seemed to end up in the same classroom through most of their elementary school years. they played on the same soccer team--the one year that diandra played--and his mom was the coach. he seemed to have a quiet personality, but he was "off the charts" smart! and he was diandra's friend.

we moved to the coast, diandra started high school, and while she pretty much lost contact with ethan, i would still think of him occasionally. there was just something different about him . . . i always kind of thought he would grow up and be the one to find a cure for cancer or something.

and then the internet worked its magic again, and diandra and ethan reconnected. we learned that he was attending graduate school at stanford, and i'm pretty sure i can't explain to you what he was doing there, because i didn't really understand it. but i'm sure he had to be "off the charts" smart to be doing it.

recently as diandra and ethan talked, he told her he was going to china. i don't know if there was a purpose to this trip, or if it was just an exciting vacation, but his family was not going along.

and then today, she got a phone call with the terrible news that ethan had been killed by a boulder while in china. just yesterday.

we still don't have the full story--he was either rock climbing or hiking, so it was apparently just a horrible accident. but it doesn't really matter what happened--all that matters is that ethan is gone.

and so this has been a very sad day for us. we have been processing this shocking news. the truth is, again, ethan wasn't a part of our everyday existance, so his passing isn't going to affect our normal routines. but still there will be moments when he will come to our minds and we will have to acknowlege that we won't be seeing him again. i will never get to see what kind of person he grew up to be. in my mind he will always be 7 years old and playing soccer.

when diandra was just old enough to go and do things without us, it became very important to her that the last words we said to each other were always, "i love you." just in case. at first it was cute, but then we started teasing her. she would say i love you, and we would say, "me too." but that wasn't good enough for her. so she would say it again, and we would respond with, "i can hardly wait to see you!" or "i'm so glad you do!" or "right back at ya!" and this would go on and on, until we would finally give in and say the words she needed to hear--"i love you too!"

it's important to let people know we care. the last time diandra told ethan goodbye, she didn't know that it really would be the very last goodbye. we never know. so this weekend, when you think about us and the loss of this friend, tell someone in your life how important they are to you, how much you value their friendship, or how glad you are that they are a part of your life. people need to hear those words, and we need to say them. because we never know which words will be our last words to someone.

so diandra, i love you too!