Friday, September 4, 2009

out of the blue . . .

so today . . . my blog will be short, because i am processing some terrible news.

one of diandra's childhood friends is gone. just like that.

ethan and diandra were not best friends, probably, but they seemed to end up in the same classroom through most of their elementary school years. they played on the same soccer team--the one year that diandra played--and his mom was the coach. he seemed to have a quiet personality, but he was "off the charts" smart! and he was diandra's friend.

we moved to the coast, diandra started high school, and while she pretty much lost contact with ethan, i would still think of him occasionally. there was just something different about him . . . i always kind of thought he would grow up and be the one to find a cure for cancer or something.

and then the internet worked its magic again, and diandra and ethan reconnected. we learned that he was attending graduate school at stanford, and i'm pretty sure i can't explain to you what he was doing there, because i didn't really understand it. but i'm sure he had to be "off the charts" smart to be doing it.

recently as diandra and ethan talked, he told her he was going to china. i don't know if there was a purpose to this trip, or if it was just an exciting vacation, but his family was not going along.

and then today, she got a phone call with the terrible news that ethan had been killed by a boulder while in china. just yesterday.

we still don't have the full story--he was either rock climbing or hiking, so it was apparently just a horrible accident. but it doesn't really matter what happened--all that matters is that ethan is gone.

and so this has been a very sad day for us. we have been processing this shocking news. the truth is, again, ethan wasn't a part of our everyday existance, so his passing isn't going to affect our normal routines. but still there will be moments when he will come to our minds and we will have to acknowlege that we won't be seeing him again. i will never get to see what kind of person he grew up to be. in my mind he will always be 7 years old and playing soccer.

when diandra was just old enough to go and do things without us, it became very important to her that the last words we said to each other were always, "i love you." just in case. at first it was cute, but then we started teasing her. she would say i love you, and we would say, "me too." but that wasn't good enough for her. so she would say it again, and we would respond with, "i can hardly wait to see you!" or "i'm so glad you do!" or "right back at ya!" and this would go on and on, until we would finally give in and say the words she needed to hear--"i love you too!"

it's important to let people know we care. the last time diandra told ethan goodbye, she didn't know that it really would be the very last goodbye. we never know. so this weekend, when you think about us and the loss of this friend, tell someone in your life how important they are to you, how much you value their friendship, or how glad you are that they are a part of your life. people need to hear those words, and we need to say them. because we never know which words will be our last words to someone.

so diandra, i love you too!

1 comment:

Diandra Ann said...

thanks mom... way to make me cry.