Thursday, February 4, 2010

caution! girly, shoe shopping blog ahead!!

so today . . . i was once again ambushed by sparkly things.

i can't seem to help myself. this evening i went to burlington coat factory, a nice practical store. i went all by myself, because my usual shopping compadre (diandra) is a bad influence on me when i am shoe shopping--or really any shopping at all, and i had a mission: buy black or gray boots--flat ones.

without going into all the reasons why i need them (you can thank me later,) i was hopeful i would find something at burlington coat factory. usually when i go there, i find my arms full of wonderful things that i must then narrow down to what i really "need." but tonight my mission was not to be completed.

i was saboutaged. by sparkly things.

here's the problem--i need the flat boots, but i want fancy dress-up ones with impossibly high heels. and when i go to look for the practical, comfortable boots i need, i have to go into the section of the store that they share with the fancy, girly, high-heeled boots. this is further complicated by the fact that i cannot find the type of boots i am looking for, so i am forced, forced i say, to try on the "yeah, i am just that cool" boots.

burlington coat factory was not the first store i tried. last week i went to ross. i looked through the terribly messy shoe section for flat boots, but had no luck. well, depending on how you define luck. i did find a pair of shoes, and a pair of those fancy, girly, high-heeled boots i mentioned before--neither of which i needed. but they were so cute! and they were so affordable! and the boots even have this little metal detail on the bottom!! i was in love . . .

i confess. i bought them.
i put the boots on as soon as i got home, and suddenly realized there was a tiny little problem. while they were surprisingly comfortable, i couldn't really walk in them. well, i could, but it was with that awkward gait that i mock in all the prom girls. the heels were so high that it was hard to pick my feet up enough to set them down smoothly, so i walked with these little mincing, flat-footed steps. i took them off and decided they had to go back. but i kept thinking about how cute they were . . . and about the silver bow on the sole of the boot (which, btw, is an actual silver metal bow that is attached to the sole--not just stamped on!). . . and thought, maybe i could learn to walk in them . . .

but i still needed flat gray or black boots--and so, the trip to burlington coat factory.

as soon as i walked in the door, i knew i was in t.r.o.u.b.l.e. there was a display of shiny, sparkly, beaded evening bags right inside the door. there were the usual black, silver, and gold bags, but mixed in were a red one and a brown one and a steel blue one and several white ones--and they all sparkled!!

i don't need a sparkly evening bag. or perhaps i should say, i don't need another sparkly evening bag. the truth is, i have several. i even have one my mom gave me that is completely constructed out of sparkles!! and yet those bags called to me . . . i stood there for 20 minutes admiring them, holding them, opening them, and comparing them as if i was going to buy one. but i wasn't--at least i didn't think i was going to . . .

flat boots. flat boots. flat boots. put down the sparkly bags and go the the shoe department.

to get to the shoe department, i had to walk past the handbags and the racks and racks of women's clothes. i guess i could have gone the long way around, through the men's department, but i didn't. by then the mantra was strong in my head--flat boots. flat boots. flat boots.

i got to the shoe department only to discover that the boots were all gone, replaced by lovely spring shoes :) ooooohh, yippee!!

NOOOO!!! flat boots. flat boots. flat boots.

i went to the clearance rack, thinking that must be where all the boot remants from "winter" had gone. once again i was disappointed. the only flat boots i found were a lovely shade of purple--which i loved, but that was not why i was there!! flat black boots. flat gray boots. and then i saw these . . .again, not why i was there. "but look how cute they are! and they are black AND brown--ok, gold-- which means i can wear them with anything. and they open and close with a zipper, so no buckles or ties to deal with. and i could wear them with dresses or pants or skinny jeans . . . " and so it goes, in my head. i decided to try them on. "they're not really my size, so they probably won't fit," i thought. but they did. and they were comfortable.

and had those really high heels and a not so affordable price.

you will be pleased to know that i showed some self control and left the store empty handed. although not without playing with the sparkly evening bags one more time. the brown one almost wrestled me to the floor and demanded to come home with me. after all, i don't have a brown evening bag . . .

but really, where would i even use an evening bag? it isn't like i am getting an invitation to walk the red carpet. i'm not even standing in line outside the studio to get into a dr. phil taping! i have absolutely no use for a sparkly evening bag! and if the occasion does arise, i already own four!

but i dream of dressing up in sparkly shoes and a sparkly dress and carrying a sparkling evening bag and going . . . i have no idea where.

this is my problem. i teach kindergarten during the week. on the weekends i do laundry and go to the movies and clean out my closet. on sundays i go to church in our alternative service where jeans are the clothing of choice. i would never spend the kind of money for dinner that one would have to spend to wear party clothes, and would be horrified if rollie did it (don't do it rollie--i'm serious!! i would be totally uncomfortable!) and yet i confess that i do own a few party dresses, and more than one pair of sparkly shoes, and those evening bags.

maybe rollie should run for president. i could be the first lady and wear pearls all the time and go to fancy dress-up balls. i could blind heads of state all over the world with my sparkly attire. my agenda could be "make everything shine!"

i think i might need that brown evening bag after all!


Diandra Ann said...

I can't believe you went without me!!! you would have left with something for sure if i had been there!

mom said...

You could have your own party. Dress up, set the table, light the candles and call the pizza place...

Al said...

where's the "zzzzz" reaction button?

hows that for snarky?

Wendy said...

I think someone ought to start pearlizing sequencing, and diamondizing your casket! It will take years to do and nothing else will be good enough for the queen of sparkle!

Jewelielyn said...

diandra--yes, i know. that is why i went without you. i wasn't really shopping, i was on a mission.
mom--pizza? yes, you know me so well :)
al--deal with it dude! i must occasionally blog about shoes and shopping.
wendy--no casket for me. i am going to be creamated and made into a diamond. really. they can do that.