so today . . . i got new shoes!
i don't remember a lot about my childhood (maybe because it was so long ago,) but one vivid memory i have is brand new white patent leather shoes in my easter basket. (this picture is not from the year i remember--it is a couple of years earlier. but notice the white patent leather shoes?) i don't know that brand new white patent leather shoes showed up in my easter basket every year, but i specifically remember one year when they did. i think i was in kindergarten. i don't remember the easter dress, even though i am sure there was one, but those white patent leather shoes sitting in my easter basket on the kitchen table pop into my head every year in late february when the cadbury eggs show up at walmart.
today i bought new shoes, and i love them. but i am afraid to wear them.
there, i've said it. i am always afraid to wear new shoes. this fear comes from knowing that once i wear them out of the house, they are non-returnable.
you know i am indecisive. you know if i see something i like, i tend to buy two. you know i don't like to spend more than $20 for anything. so for me, shopping is an extreme sport, because i might like something now, but what if i see something i like better tomorrow? or what if i get it home, and it doesn't look good with anything else i have? or what if i change my mind? it could happen. it has happened. and so i need the security of knowing i can return an item if i want to--for any reason.
but shoes are not like any other type of clothing. they need to fit perfectly in order to be comfortable, and sometimes you cannot tell that by putting them on your feet and walking around the store for a few minutes. they may feel perfectly fine in the store, but then at 10:00 a.m. at school they might be killing my feet! and yet, there is no way to know if that is what will happen until i wear them to school--at which point i cannot return them because i have worn them.
a terrible catch-22.
i have had to donate several pairs of barely worn shoes to charity. shoes that were so cute that either i talked myself into thinking they were comfortable, or they really were--until i wore them for more than 15 minutes. sometimes i hang onto them with a hope that one day, i will put them on and they will magically feel great. but this never happens . . .
which brings us to today. i saw these shoes a few days ago online, but they were $30--too expensive for school. then yesterday we went to the skechers outlet, and they had them for $20 AND buy one pair, get the second pair half off--which works great for me, since i like to buy two of everything. but i couldn't make a decision, and rollie was with me and had already looked around the store and said, "i'll meet you at the car." so i came home without them.
but i thought about them, and this morning i went back. i was there for an hour! and i already knew what i wanted!! these are not regular tennis shoes. they don't tie--they are slip-ons, and so they felt different on my feet. i texted my friend jessica, who has a similar style shoe (although, without the lovely sparkly toes,) and asked her about how they should fit. taking her advice, i bought the smaller pair.
but now i am sitting here at home, looking at my cute new shoes, and wondering if they are the right size. because they are kind of tight, and i'm worried they will hurt my feet if i wear them for a long time. but jessica said they will loosen up. she said i just need to wear them. but i can't wiggle my toes--and my feet tend to be claustrophobic if i can't wiggle my toes. but then, i look at the sparkly toes and think i don't care how they feel! i'm keeping them!! they are too beautiful! my feet can just deal with it! but if they are too uncomfortable, i won't wear them, and that will be $10 down the drain! and then i think, JULIE! IT IS JUST $10! WEAR THE SHOES!!! but in these difficult economic times, i think $10 is a lot--especially since it is almost summer.
(aren't you glad you don't live in my head.)
so i guess i will put them on and wear them around the house this weekend, and see what happens. i could always go back and get the larger size . . .
but not if i wear them to church tomorrow :)