Monday, May 17, 2010

too bad i am a reeboks fan . . .

so today . . . it's time to confess. i am famous, apparently. and nike wants me.

about a month ago, i received this comment from new jordans: "Your high quality articles are so great, and can we buy some ads from you? If you agree, just email me the ad type and fee per month. If you own some other high quality related blogs, selling ads would be welcomed."

now i am thinking, "wait a minute! what is this?" so i clicked on the link (which i have not included here, because they haven't paid me a penny. yet.) and i see ads for the new air jordan shoes. and i realize that if i post their comment, my millions of readers might just click on their link (which is why i haven't included it here, because, again, they haven't paid me anything. yet.) and why would they pay me, if all of my millions of readers have already viewed their page and purchased ridiculously expensive athletic shoes.

yes, i am not an air jordans fan. i'm not saying that i couldn't be bought, but the price would be very, very high. the shoes are, after all, named after my arch enemy, michael jordan. i'm sure michael jordan is a perfectly nice man, and in another place and time, i might think he was wonderful. but he had the terrible misfortune to play basketball for the chicago bulls while my beloved clyde drexler was leading my basketball team, the portland trailblazers. sadly, he was not leading them to an nba championship, because michael jordan had all the referees in his pocket, so they would make crucial calls in his favor in a certain game 7 of a certain playoff series . . .

and no, i can't let it go!!!!! we were robbed!!!!!


so really, nike is wasting their time on me. i will not subject my loyal readers to their air jordan propaganda. you are all much too important to me! in that spirit, this is what i posted on facebook: Nike wants to buy ads on my blog for their new shoes because "my high quality articles are so great!" I'm not sure they can afford me...

i thought it would be obvious that it was too ridiculous to be true, but i got a message from my dad wanting to know when the checks would start arriving in the mailbox. i guess my dad believes my blog is worthy of nike advertising. i like that. it's totally impossible, but i think it is nice that my dad thinks it could happen.


diandra just told me she thinks she might audition for survivor. i all but laughed in her face. i said to her, "diandra, think about the bugs. you hate bugs!!" i just cannot see my daughter in a remote location with bugs, no bathroom, and did i mention bugs?!?!? but she looked at me with that look she gets when i know she is thinking "i'll show her!" and said, "i think i could do it." and at that point i realized i should not be pointing out the obstacles--she will find those herself, soon enough. i should be encouraging her. because even at her advanced age (she will be a quarter of a century old in a month, you know,) i still want her to know that i think she can do anything. the impossible should still be an option for her. she should be dreaming big dreams, and then working to make them happen. and i should be cheering her on, louder than anyone else!

so you go for it, diandra. and if you make it, i will even be your "loved one" who comes to help you win a challenge, because i am sure you would pick me!

and dad, thanks for thinking that nike would be interested in advertising on my blog. because even though i know that my days of dreaming big dreams are pretty much gone, it is nice to know that you think it is totally possible.

2 comments:

Diandra Ann said...

awwwwww....

I decided today that maybe the spiders would creep me out. And I hadn't even THOUGHT about no bathrooms...

mom said...

We all think your blogs are worthy of a public printing. Put them in book form. I have several books that have that kind of format about lots of different things. AS for survivor, I think they should rename that program "If You Survive."