remember, don't judge a book . . .

so today . . . an innocent trip to the pharmacy almost went bad.

all i wanted was the really strong sudafed. in case everyone has forgotten, it is an over the counter medicine. and my sinuses are once again trying to keep me from breathing.

i woke up feeling congested and with a voice like a troll. i quickly called in sick and went back to bed. when i woke up later, i still felt awful and couldn't breathe. i needed sudafed. the good stuff! and of course i didn't have any. i had been carrying the empty box around in my car for the last few weeks, because my sinuses hate me and i knew we were going to need it again. but i just hadn't found my way to the pharmacy yet . . .

i threw on clothes, put my hair in a ponytail, filled my pockets with tissues and headed for the pharmacy. and it was quite a trip! when you drive a car with a manual transmission, all you can do is drive, because it takes both hands. so in order to drive AND blow one's nose requires both concentration and dexterity--or two additional hands, none of which i had! but i made it to the pharmacy safely and went in, prepared to wait for at least 45 minutes. our pharmacy is the busiest place on earth!

to my surprise, it was deserted. i have never been in the pharmacy when it wasn't packed with people! i went right up to the counter, put my empty sudafed box on the counter and said, "i need some more of these! can i get them here??" the pharmacist said, "yes, i can get those for you--you'll need to fill out this form." i had to do that the last time too. i guess they are keeping track of anyone who feels the need for sudafed. right now, that is me.

as the pharmacist disappeared into the racks and racks of drugs, i impulsively said, "can i just get two?"

this seemed like a reasonable request. i know i am going to need more. i will get sick, or rollie will get sick, and we will need more. it is inevitable. and i just figured why make another trip? i'm here now, just give me two!

the pharmacist immediately stopped, backed up, and peered at me from behind the rack. "no," she said, "i can only give you one."

i know she was memorizing my face in case she was ever asked to identify me in a police line-up.

(did i mention that sudafed is not a prescription drug?)

i now knew that she considered me to be a possible illegal drug manufacturer. but i'm not! and it was suddenly very important for me to show her how really normal i was, and how i just needed all that sudafed because the devil lives in my sinuses and uses them to torment me. so i started prattling on and on (because that is the only word that adequately describes it,) about how i've been sick since last fall and how my doctor is the one who said i should use the sudafed and how i work with small children so you know, i will get sick again and i just thought for convenience if i could get two . . .

and all the time, she is surreptitiously looking at me and memorizing my face.

finally our transaction was complete. i grabbed my little white bag and headed for the elevators--the elevators that have a mirror finish on the doors. and that's when i saw myself--wearing my faded "just to wear at home" jeans, my black leather boots, and my motorcycle jacket. and my hair?? let's just say it wasn't having a good day. of course i was also without the help of make-up, had a low grade fever, AND I WAS SICK! wild-eyed and unstable doesn't even come close to describing my overall "look."

of course, i immediately felt the need to go back into the pharmacy and explain again that i was sick and had stayed home from work today and that i just wanted to go back to bed but i needed the sudafed in order to breathe, and THAT'S why i looked like a crazed drug addict. really.

i'm not sure she would have believed me. and since there was a security guard by the door, i thought it might be best to just take my drugs and go.

i think the next time i need sudafed, i might try a different pharmacy . . .

or send rollie, the boy scout. maybe they would give him two . . .