periods? or commas...?

so today . . . rollie was reading yesterday's blog on his phone while we were at dinner. (don't even ask where we were--you already know...)

sometimes i like it when he reads the blog when i am with him, and sometimes i don't. i like to see his reaction, but there is a kind of pressure present when i am actually there. what if he doesn't laugh? what if his reaction is "huh?" what if he doesn't "get" it? usually it isn't an issue. usually the only reason he is reading it in front of me is because i have asked him, "did you read my blog today?" and i only ask that question if i think he is really going to think it is funny. so here is what usually happens--

r: silently reading
me: silently watching him read
r: laughs
me: "what? what was that?"
r: reads out loud what made him laugh
me: smiles
r: reads some more
me: waits some more
r: laughs again
me: "what? was that the part where..."
r: reads out loud again
and so on...

but tonight something happened that has never happened before. tonight he paused after reading for a minute or two, and said, "why all the periods? what happened to the commas?"

huh? could he possibly need new glasses that badly?? or did i really make a mistake?

"where," i said. he showed me, and i said, "no, those are supposed to be periods." he looked at me a little blankly. "it's my style..." i continued. "i don't want you to just pause at those points--i want you to stop! for emphasis!"

he just looked at me and continued reading... sometimes i leave him speechless :)

when i started blogging, i made some conscious decisions about "style." i decided to write all in lower case letters. i wish i could say there was some artistic reason for it (like emulating e. e. cummings,) but the truth is, when i write everything in lower case letters, there are fewer mistakes to correct :)

i also decided to almost totally ignore everything i know about proper writing technique. i know proper writing technique (i had to say that, just in case there is some random person reading my blog who is looking for a writer that they want to hire. i graduated from college. i can write properly. really, i can!) but when you read my blog, i want it to sound like it would if i was telling you the story in person. and i don't always speak with proper grammatical form. i repeat fragments for emphasis. i use lots of conjunctions (conjunction junction, what's your function? ah, schoolhouse rock...) i say things like, "no, really!" and "seriously" and i use "totally" as both an adverb and an adjective. i think. and i don't just pause--i stop. for. emphasis. i do have rules, they just aren't grammatical ones.

i love to blog! i love the frame of mind i have to be in to do it. i can't do it if i am angry or unhappy or feeling really bad. my mind has to be a little bit bouncy or everything i write just sounds flat. and uninteresting. (i would say boring, but i still hear my mother's voice in my head saying, "if you are bored, i'm sure i can find something for you to do." trust me--boring is a bad word! and it can lead to things like picking up the plums in the back yard... or cleaning the bathrooms...)

so, when you read my blog, remember that it isn't meant to be great literature. it is just me, telling you a story, trying to make you laugh. and if you see periods where you think there should be commas, remember to stop. at. each. one.

because i did it on purpose :)