i am nice! so why does my body hate me?!?!?!

so today . . . has been a difficult day. actually, it has been a difficult several days. but there's no need for you all to worry, i am just fighting with my body. and losing.

there are times when i hate my physical structure--not for the obvious reasons that might leap into your mind, but because sometimes my body just rebels against me! and for no good reason, i might add! i try to take care of it. i feed it, i clean it, i clothe it.--well, ok, i don't exercise it much, but you would think it would be grateful that i don't tire it out and make it all sore and achy! it seems to me that the least it could do in return is to function properly. but right now it chooses not to. sometimes it tricks me by beginning to act normally. so then i act normally. and then it zaps me!! mean, mean, mean!!!

i keep thinking it will finally get tired of tormenting me and settle down and behave... so i try to just wait it out. i'm a bit stubborn. i think i can win this stare-down! but now i am getting tired of fighting it--especially since i seem to be losing. so, i guess i am going to have to go see a doctor...

i'm not a fan of going to see the doctor. i just want to go in, tell them quickly what is wrong, get some pills to fix me right up, and leave. but that is never what happens! they always ask me a bunch of questions--questions that i have no answers for. they want me to have tests--tests i have no time for. i know it is all a necessary evil, and i am glad that i have wonderful insurance that pays for it all. it is just so inconvenient... and time consuming... and energy sapping...

but i think perhaps i have put it off as long as i can. christmas is coming, and i am going north to visit my family. my mother will be able to tell if i am not well (of course, it would be harder for her to tell if i didn't blog about it! hi mom!) so in a week, when we get back from las vegas, i will make a doctor appointment. and go. and see if my doctor can smack my body back into line...

...because clearly it isn't paying any attention to what i think.