so today . . . i am in big trouble. today i discovered that one doesn't need ice cream in order to eat the toppings.
you know i try to eat healthy most of the time. you know this, because i go on and on and on about it... but lately i am having a hard time staying on the straight and narrow. lately i just want to live on crunchy cheetos and brownies and ice cream, with an occasional banana thrown in, you know, just so i can pretend that i still have some sort of moral compass.
to aid me in my quest for nutritious food choices, i do not buy unhealthy snack food at the grocery store. or costco. especially costco, because at costco you cannot buy just one small bag of some terrible snack food--you have to buy a huge bag. or two bags forever joined by shrink-wrapped cellophane. in fact, when we finished off our last 12 pack of pepsi one, i decided i would no longer buy it. if i didn't have it in the house, i figured, i wouldn't have any soda to drink, which would force me to drink something more healthful--like water. this seemed like a good idea. it was a good idea. except that i still have car keys and a vehicle with gas in the tank (although it cost me $42 to fill my teeny tiny tank today!) and a 7-11 just about a mile away... i think i have been at 7-11 almost every day since i decided not to buy any more pepsi one.
clearly my plan is not working...
it is really not working, because when i go to 7-11 for a diet lemon cokesi, i almost always buy a brownie. or two. or three. and a bag of crunchy cheetos. or two. it is becoming a problem. friday, when i made my daily run for a soda, i also put a brownie on the counter. "only one today?" said the lady manning the cash register. yeah, that store clerk has my number. i might, in fact, be slightly addicted to soda and brownies.
or maybe it is just the sugar. sometimes i just want something sweet. but since, as i said, i don't really keep sweet snacks in the house, this can be a problem.
i don't have any sugar in my kitchen. we exorcised our kitchen from the evils of sugar a few years ago. but there are days when i still go looking for it. there were no cookies in the cookie jar, no chocolate kisses in the candy dish, no cans of frosting in the cupboard, no chocolate chips in the freezer. and no ice cream.
i knew we didn't have any cookies or candy or frosting or chocolate or ice cream, and yet i went looking anyway. i needed some sugar and i didn't want to have to drive to get it, because i was already wearing my flannel pants (the ones that are about 10 sizes too big for me,) and it was dark outside. i was in for the night!
and then i found some butterscotch ice cream topping...
i knew we didn't have any ice cream. i knew, because i had already checked the freezer for any hidden deliciousness and found that there wasn't any. but that jar of butterscotch topping lured me in. i was standing there thinking about dipping a spoon in it, when i saw the nut container.
now we were getting somewhere...
i put some chopped nuts in a small bowl and drizzled the butterscotch topping over it. (ok, here's the truth. there was no drizzling happening. i added butterscotch topping by the spoonful! and then i added even more. those nuts were almost swimming in a pool of butterscotch!) and then i sort of mixed it all together. and it tasted pretty good! even without the ice cream.
i guess desperation is the mother of invention. i guess it isn't safe to keep butterscotch topping in the refrigerator anymore. i guess maybe i should go to bed earlier, before the munchies attack me.
i guess it isn't enough to expunge the sugar from the kitchen. i guess i am also going to have to exercise a bit of self-control.
sigh. i am doomed.