randomness

so today . . . has been quite a day...

9:30 a.m.

it started at school when we were doing calendar time. the kids were sitting on the rug, and we were talking about going from april to may. the cutout that said "april" had raindrops on it, and the cutout that said "may" had daisies on it. so i decided it was time to teach my students a joke, a real joke. you know, the kind where the punchline is actually related to the rest of it!

first we talked about the saying "april showers bring may flowers." and then i said, "so, if april showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?" i knew they would probably not guess the correct answer, but their responses were so serious! i guess they thought we were doing science, because their answers ranged from more flowers to sunshine to bees. i finally said, "ok, but this is going to be a joke. so the answer is going to be funny." they were clearly lost. (i was just glad no one said "poop," because they seem to find that hilarious!) so i finally just told them the answer. and they just looked at me blankly. then i explained why it was funny. they still didn't laugh. i said, "it's a joke!" but apparently when you are six, it is not...

however, apparently when you are six, a lot of other stuff is--like "if you mix pink and red you get orange." and then, just in case i didn't "get" it, "that's a joke!" yes, they may not have understood the joke i tried to teach them, but they understood the part where you clarify at the end by saying, "it's a joke!" i'll bet i heard that phrase 85 times today--and it ALWAYS followed some random, nonsensical group of sentences. always.

10:45 a.m.

later in the morning, i had a few free minutes, so i decided to check my email. of course, my computer would not connect to the internet... but never fear! my iphone4 was near!! so i hit the email button, and it promptly informed me that my username or password were incorrect...

... oh yeah... probably because yesterday when i was trying to log in to hotmail on my new computer (which doesn't know any of my passwords yet!) i was desperate to get my email, so i reset my password. which meant now i couldn't access it on either my old netbook or my phone, unless i knew the new password. which, of course, i didn't. because when i was resetting the password, i told the new computer to remember it, not realizing that now my other electronics would be locked out...

ok, no problem. i would just wait until i got home to check my email. i need to get used to using the new computer anyway. (for some reason when i get new electronic equipment, it takes me a while to actually USE it. i get so impatient waiting for it to get here, and then when it finally arrives, i don't want to use it, for fear of messing it up.)

11:45 a.m.

there were birthday cupcakes in the kitchen. i knew this, because it was nicholas's birthday, and his mom told me she had brought two trays of cupcakes (that's 24 for those of you who never buy cupcakes.) we usually have our birthday parties in the afternoon after naptime, but i was thinking about what i was going to have for lunch, and wondering if maybe i should have a salad since birthday cupcakes were on the agenda. but you never know what the birthday cupcakes are going to be like. sometimes parents buy white cupcakes with white frosting, thinking it won't be quite so bad for the kids. i think, at least chocolate cupcakes have cocoa in them. which comes from a bean. which makes it a vegetable. but clearly many people do not share my view...

i decided that while i was on my break, i should check out the cupcake situation. so i went into the kitchen to see if we were going to have delicious chocolate cupcakes or icky white ones, only to find out that we might not have any cupcakes at all...

...because there had been a communication mix up, and the birthday cupcakes had already been mostly eaten by the classmates of nicholas's younger sister! there were only nine cupcakes left, and we have 14-16 children in the afternoon! thankfully the remaining cupcakes were chocolate, but there weren't enough! as we sorted out the incident, it quickly became clear that we needed more cupcakes. so during lunch, ms. amy went to the store... and she brought back RED VELVET CUPCAKES!!

(can i just say, i was pretty sure the kids were going to be eating the chocolate cupcakes, because i was pretty sure i was going to be eating a red velvet one!)

5:45 p.m.

after dinner i went to walmart to "pick up a few things." you know how that goes. mostly i needed toilet paper and small milk bones, but walmart was out of small milk bones. we need small milk bones at our house, because our dogs have trained me that if i am leaving to go anywhere, they get a milk bone...

it started out as sort of comfort food when they were left home alone--whoever was the last one out of the house would give them each a milk bone. but it seemed as though i was almost always the last one out of the house (i'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that i am almost always running late!) so usually i was the one handing out the treat. and now things have evolved... now, rollie and diandra can both be home, but if i head toward the garage door, i will find at least one pup standing there, wagging their tail, looking up at me with big bright eyes, just hoping for a treat.

i cannot resist. i'm sure that is why they do it!

and so, we go through a lot of milk bones. but today i had to settle for liver snaps. the dogs will probably be thrilled!

6:30 p.m.

i got this text: "are you ever coming home?" i got this text from diandra just as i was pulling into the driveway, so i didn't bother to respond. i had told her i wouldn't be coming straight home from work today, but she had forgotten. we talked for a few minutes and then i changed my clothes--into my flannel pajama pants...

my flannel pajama pants are a leftover from a christmas present 5 or 6 years ago. they are navy blue with dogs wearing santa hats all over them. and they are a men's size large. i wear them at home sometimes because they are soooo comfortable, but only my family gets the dubious "pleasure" of seeing them. they are perfect for an evening of sitting on the couch and working on computer stuff. which is what i was doing when diandra said she didn't feel so good, but she thought a soda might help...

well, that's just great, but we didn't have any soda, because i still am trying to drink less of it by not keeping it in the house! she thought maybe we could go to 7-11, but in case you didn't know it, 7-11 does not have drive thru window, and i had just put on my flannel pajama pants! i thought that maybe if i ignored her, she would forget about it. but she didn't.

"so, when are we going," she said.

"i don't want to go," i replied. " i don't want to put on pants." she just looked at me.

"how about this," i said, "you can go in, and i'll drive the getaway car."

"are you suggesting we rob the 7-11," she asked?

"no," i said, "i don't think i drive well enough--we would get caught."

we went to 7-11. i waited in the car while diandra went in. she came out and got back into the car, and i was going to show her how i could drive a getaway car (you know, just in case she ever needed me to,) but i was thwarted by traffic--i couldn't even get out of the parking lot!

i suddenly realized that i didn't feel all that great either. i said, "i have a headache. it's all the pressure of driving the getaway car."

diandra said, "you're going 30 miles an hour!!"

"hey!" i said, "i am not! i'm going 38!" and then my precious darling daughter, the one who i was driving around with $4.29 gas in my tank said, "you're the worst getaway car driver ever."

i thought maybe she was still fixated on my speed. "well," i said, "we could put the top down--then it would feel like we were going faster! and anyway, i can't be the worst getaway car driver ever, because i've never been caught!"

"NO ONE IS CHASING US!!!" she said. technically true, but still...

8:00 p.m.

when we got home, i finally got settled in with my computer. it was time to check my email. i went to hotmail... and it asked me for my password... the password i just changed yesterday... that i can't remember... (yeah, i guess i didn't tell the new computer to remember it either.) so i look at my options, and the first one offers to email me my password.

who writes these things!?!?! how am i going to get an email with my password in it, when i can't check my email, because i don't know my password!!! i am ranting about this to diandra, when she says, "don't you have another email address?"

oh. i didn't think of that...

but it doesn't matter anyway, because my other electronics don't know it, so i need to reset it anyway. i click the "reset password" button, answer the security question (which thankfully i CAN remember the answer to,) and proceed to try to think of yet another password...

and btw, if i can reset the password by answering the security question, why can't they just tell me the password if i answer the security question correctly?? what's the difference?!?!?

11:51 p.m.

my headache is worse. i still don't have a house (oh, you don't even want to know what is happening there--although, as i am sure i will eventually blog it, you will eventually find out...) it is going to be HOT tomorrow. and the next day. and i still have seven weeks of school left. and i still can't get into my email...

but the good news is, if any of you need a getaway car driver, i might be available. i might even put the top down...