is this what rock bottom feels like??

so today . . . i bought meat. from shopping tv.

yes, i have apparently turned into one of THOSE people...

shopping tv is a slippery slope. i started watching it several years ago. i was turning 40 and decided that i was now a grown up and would no longer wear fashion jewelry. i was going for the real stuff or nothing at all. i blame my birthday. and rollie. and our friend ron, who is a jeweler...

i've always loved jewelry. my great-grandpa was a rock hound, and that love for turning an ugly old rock into something beautiful was also a part of my dad's genetic material. he taught earth science to 8th graders, and the kids in his classes were the luckiest ones at highland park junior high school, because if you were in my dad's science class, you got to cut and polish rocks! it was awesome!!

then after we were married for a few years, rollie started buying me nice jewelry for special occasions like my birthday. this was made possible, because we had a friend in our church who was a jeweler--not the kind who owned a jewelry store, but the kind who made and repaired the jewelry for the jewelry stores--he had connections!! and so i got kind of spoiled, because when ron and rollie would put their heads together, the result was always something amazing!

but then we moved. and while ron was still accessible, he was also far away, which complicated the logistics of adding to my collection. and we had moved to a small town, which meant very limited options for jewelry buying.

that's when i discovered shopping tv.

i started out by just watching, you know, just because i enjoy looking at beautiful things. eventually i made a small purchase, and then occasionally after that i would buy something else. it was great! everything looked so sparkly and shiny, and the choices seemed endless!

and then we moved to california where ron was even further away, and i didn't have cable tv. but guess what? i could still get one shopping channel! and since there weren't a lot of other choices, i started watching more shopping tv, just because i like to look at beautiful things!

and then one day, when i was sitting in the family room with my computer, looking for something to watch, i tuned into a show that was selling skin care products. it seemed kind of interesting, and so i watched it. this increased my options, because now i could watch jewelry shows and skin care shows. and it worked out pretty good. i found some skin care products that were reasonably priced, and i bought a pair of earrings or two along the way...

and then i started watching electronics shows, because really, there was quite a lot of good information about electronics in those shows. and you know, sometimes we need electronics, so i figured that the more i learned, the better. and i took that information and used it when it was time to buy a computer or a camera or a tv.

until the day when i actually bought a tv from them...

and then one day, they had a show on with clothes made out of some kind of fabric that they promised wouldn't wrinkle OR attract dog hair! does this sound like some sort of miracle to you?!?! well, it did to me, and so i continued to watch... i didn't buy anything, but i continued to watch, just in case... which led to shoe shows... and handbag shows...

i told you it was a slippery slope...

by now it may be hard for you to believe, but there were some shows that i refused to watch. they just held no interest for me at all! like the cooking shows. what a waste of time, i thought, to sit there and watch people cook when i couldn't eat or even smell the food, AND when i didn't like to cook anyway? and why would you buy cookware from shopping tv when you could get perfectly good pans at target?!? or tj maxx???

and then the inventor who invented the hangers that now fill my closets (oh yes, i guess i forgot to mention when i started watching the closet organizing shows...) invented this new non-stick cookware that is guaranteed up to 850 degrees! and i figured even when i burn something, it probably doesn't exceed 850 degrees! and we were moving into our new house, with our new kitchen, and it just screamed for new pans, and these pans had RED, SPARKLY, non-stick exteriors. and so we bought them...

but still i had standards! although, as you can see, my standards were gradually falling...

i still refused to watch cleaning shows (oh wait, maybe not totally, because i did buy a spin mop...) and christmas in july shows, and coin collecting shows (ok, i did occasionally watch coin collecting shows--especially when they were talking about the state quarters, but i've never purchased any coins!) and toy shows, and underwear shows (yes, they actually sell underwear on tv!) and food shows.

food shows are the worst. first of all, i find most of the food to be ridiculously priced. if i want chocolate chip cookies, i will just go to del taco and get a dozen for $5! i don't need to spend $39.95 and get a cookie jar too! and buffalo burgers?!?! i don't care how healthy they are, i am not buying them from shopping tv and having them shipped to my house! meat in the mail??? that is just wrong!

or so i thought. because last night i was watching shopping tv while cleaning the kitchen (this is a bonus of having the kitchen and family room open to each other,) and they started selling steaks? why didn't i just turn it off? well, my hands were in the soapy water in the sink, and i was almost done anyway, so i just let it run...

they started talking about how these were the only steaks that had been approved with the "heart healthy" label... and then they talked about how lean they were... and then they talked about how many ways you could prepare them... and THEN they gave the price! and you are not going to believe this, but one of those steaks cost less than the sourdough jack cheeseburger i had eaten for lunch! they are petite steaks, but it was still a pretty good price. especially since i NEVER buy steak at the grocery store. if i am going to eat a steak, i am going to eat it in a restaurant where it has been prepared by someone who knows what they are doing! at home we mostly eat hamburger and chicken. so, i thought, this would be a good way to add some variety to my sad and pathetic repertoire of dinners that i can cook...

so i bought the steaks. it took a chunk of my grocery money, but i did the math, and we can eat two of those steaks with some broccoli and salad and have a pretty nice meal for less than it costs us to eat at rubio's! (i know! it's hard to believe!!) we won't be eating them every day, but it will be a nice change of pace from meatballs and chicken quesadillas. i hope...

...because, you see, i do tend to leave things in my freezer, just for the security of knowing that i have food in there. and i am going to have to remember to take them out of the freezer in time so that they can thaw before i need to cook them. and i'm not really sure how to cook them.

but we have meat coming. in the mail.

i think maybe i had better clean out the freezer, and tell rollie that we might need a barbecue after all...