my 300th post!

so today . . . it rained.

and i was going to write a blog about the rain, but then i realized that this is my 300th post! i think that is kind of amazing! so the rain blog will have to wait for another day . . .

three hundred is a pretty bug number. so it got me to thinking about what other things i have done 300 times . . .

--the laundry. yes, i passed the number 300 long, long ago.
--kissed the dogs. i kiss them multiple times in a day, so i surpass 300 kisses every year!
--hmmm--i guess i should add kissed rollie and diandra too. i kiss them almost every day, sometimes twice ;)
--read books or magazines. i always have something that i am in the middle of reading.
--made a list. oh yeah--i am the master list maker. i make a new list almost every day. of course, i never complete my lists, but this is a topic for another day's blog . . .
--popped the top on a can of diet soda. sigh. i know.
--logged onto the internet. yeah, my facebook friends know this is true!
--said, "in this class we are all friends together," or "are you making a good choice?" or "i see johnny is doing the right thing." yes, some days i could pretty much be replaced by a recording.
--whined. this number is probably upwards of 3000.
--cooked dinner. hah! i know some of you don't believe this, but i used to cook all the time.

and in the interests of fairness and balance, i would also like to add . . .

things i have not done 300 times . . .
--put gas in my car. in oregon, there are guys who come to your car and pump your gas--even in the rain! you still have to get out of your car to pay, usually, but still . . . since we have only lived in california for 8 years, i'm pretty sure i am still under the 300 mark here.
--cut my hair. my hair has been an almost constant source of frustration to me, although in the last few years we have reached a tentative truce. but the truth is, i am just too cheap to have it cut more than four times a year.
--gone to the gym. yes, i have discovered that i am not a gym rat--even though i want to be.
--reorganized my closet. but i am sure i will hit the number 300 here before i die . . .
--told my mom and dad i loved them. i should have told them thousands of times. they are amazing parents!
--gotten a speeding ticket. thank goodness! i've only had two, and i only deserved one of them. that's not to say that i never speed, but where we live, speeding is relative . . .
--watched "it's a wonderful life!" some things should be savored, not gorged on.
--defrosted the freezer. it is cold and wet in there--i prefer sunny and warm.
--asked a friend to go do something fun. i am kind of a solitary person. i have friends, but typically i do things alone. solitude works for me.
--gone to disneyland. i was 42 years old when i went to disneyland the first time, and i still thought it was the most magical place on earth. i think this needs to move to the other list. let's see, if i got a pass and went once a week . . .

and there you have it--my 300th post. be glad i decided not to write "300 things you might not know about me . . . "

never going to happen . . .

so today . . . i am crossing one more thing off of my "things i did that i vowed i would never do" list. this is the companion to the "things i will never, ever do, no matter what" list.

my list of "things i will never ever do, no matter what" is not a written list. i keep it in my head--that way it is easy to adjust it. because i am finding that as my life progresses, more and more things are moving from that list to the list of "things i did that i vowed i would never do."

like saying, "because i'm the mom, that's why!"

honestly, i don't remember my mom ever saying that--maybe she did (although if she did, i am sure it was not addressed to me--i was the perfect child!) but for some reason, i just decided it was something i would never, ever stoop to saying. if my child asked me a question, i would answer her. because of course, i would always have a reason for everything i did . . .

and then diandra started talking.

i don't know if it was because she was an only child or because of genetics or because we read to her all the time, but she had an analytical mind and an amazing vocabulary to go along with it. this resulted in conversations with lots of "but why" questions, which i always tried to answer completely until i would finally run out of answers. at which point i would hear myself saying, "because i'm the mom, that's why!"

or eating broccoli.

i used to be somewhat famous for my aversion to most vegetables. but for some reason i had a special dislike for broccoli. i'm not sure why. i don't remember ever eating it and thinking it tasted awful. it may have had something to do the with dreadful smell when broccoli is cooking, i don't know. but my friends knew that if anything green was passing between my lips, it was sure to be an m&m. and then came the day when we realized we were not getting any younger and should probably start thinking about trying to live longer instead of just assuming we would. so i learned to like broccoli, and now i eat it several times a week. i even order it instead of mashed potatoes when we eat at sizzler.

but today, i did something that i knew for certain i would never, ever do--not for any reason, not for any amount of money--i would die first! and yet, today it crossed over to the "i did it" list.

i rinsed my sinuses.

i've heard about the neti pots. i know there are people who swear by them. but not me. there was no way i was ever going to be running water up one nostril and down the other one. no. way.

but i've been sick. and the pulmonary doctor i saw yesterday thinks that maybe my pneumonia started out as sinusitis, which can be very difficult to get rid of. so she thinks this is a good idea. she thinks it will help. and as she is telling me about what she wants me to do, all i can think is "there is no way on earth that i am going to be able to do that!! even if i wanted to, which, by the way, i don't! water up my nose??? and then filling up my sinuses and coming back out?!?!? uh uh, no way!!!" i don't even like to put my head under the water--i'm pretty sure that is why i can't swim. i didn't even take showers until i went to college--it was baths for me. you don't get water in your nose when you take a bath!

i'm pretty sure if i try this, i will drown. seriously. in fact, rollie and i had a discussion about it when the doctor left the room. i kept saying, "but if i block the back of my throat so the water doesn't get into my mouth, then i can't breathe!" and he kept saying, "of course you can." and i kept saying, "no, i can't! watch." and then i would pinch my nose shut, block my throat with my tongue and try to breathe. which of course i couldn't. he just rolled his eyes, but i knew this was going to kill me.

rollie picked up the kit from the pharmacy, along with the newer, stronger antibiotics. (which btw, are ENORMOUS! i have to cut them in half and they are still hard to swallow!) i read the directions to the sinus rinsing stuff on the way home, and acted like i was going to do it, but i wasn't. when we got home, i put it on the kitchen counter (which is beginning to look like a drug store,) and decided i should wait a while before i tried it--knowing i was not going to do it, but pretending i was . . .

time passed. rollie went to bed. i got tired. i wanted to go to sleep, but i couldn't until i rinsed my sinuses. so i just stayed up. finally i knew i had to do it. but i didn't want to. i knew at the very least i was going to gag and snort and cough and be miserable. and at the very worst, i might drown. but what would i say when the doctor asked me about it? i thought about lying, but she is a doctor. she would know.

so i prepared the solution. i got a box of tissues. i headed to the bathroom sink, hearing a funeral dirge playing in my head. and then i did it.

and it wasn't fun. water went in one side and out the other. it felt like it does when i breathe in when my head is underwater (which never happens anymore, because i have pretty much given up on swimming. but the memories are strong!!) and yet, i didn't gag or choke or drown. so i guess i am going to live.

there's still a lot of stuff on my "things i will never, ever do, no matter what" list. but after this experience, i'm kind of afraid to think about what might move to the "things i did that i vowed i would never do" list next.

i sure hope it isn't bungee jumping . . .

a day of enforced rest

so today . . . i rested.

shortly after waking up, i logged onto facebook to take care of my games. i harvested, plowed, planted, baked, visited, picked up gifts, sent gifts--i have a very busy virtual life.

i spent 40 minutes on subversive activities.

about 1:00 rollie brought me jack in the box for lunch, and we watched a movie on tv.

i sat on the couch and did report cards for my class, so they could go home tomorrow (just in case i am able to go to school next week and do parent conferences.)

i watched some shopping tv, but didn't buy anything--because i am resting.

i went back onto facebook and repeated my morning's activities.

i ate leftovers for dinner, and printed out the report cards, so rollie can drop them off at school tomorrow.

i skulked about the internet.

i drank more tea and read a little bit.

and that is all.

no wait--i also started the dishwasher.

(well, i needed to accomplish something today--which is hard to do if you are supposed to be resting.)

i can hardly wait for tomorrow . . .

at last, an answer. i hope.

so today . . . i am sitting in front of the fire (because there is finally a chill in the air,) playing on my computer, and eating a chocolate cake lollipop from sweet and saucy shop (yes, diandra finally brought me some, and now that i have tasted one they are zooming to the top of my list of "things that i would kill for!" i cannot describe to you how delicious these little cake balls are!!) if only that was the whole story . . .

. . . i am sitting here in front of the fire, playing on my computer, eating a cake lollipop because i have pneumonia. that cough that i have been whining about for the last two and a half months? yeah, it is now pneumonia.

i was pretty sick over the weekend, so sunday i emailed my doctor and said, "what should i do?" i hadn't actually seen MY doctor since the middle of october--i'd just been going to urgent care. but i thought maybe now i needed to see someone who knew me and could look at all the information from the last couple of months and figure out why i was still coughing.

and then i got up monday morning and went to work.

it was an economic decision. i do not have any benefits at my job, because i do not work 40 hours a week--i work "only" 32 hours. that means no paid vacation days or sick days, and holidays are only paid if you work the day before AND the day after. i had dragged myself in last week, and i was not ready to lose 3 days of pay just because i didn't feel good on monday.

i got to work without incident, and everything was ok. for a while. but then things started going downhill. by 10:00 i was trying to figure out how i was going to get my head off my desk long enough to take my little darlings across the hall to the bathroom. i was afraid i was not going to be able to drive the one mile it would take me to get home, let alone navigate multiple lanes of freeway traffic. i called rollie and said, "can you take me to urgent care after lunch?" he said, "you don't sound good. maybe we should go right now!" but i said, "no, we could be there a while--you had better eat first." which turned out to be prophetic, because we were there all afternoon . . .

we got to urgent care about 1:30, and while the waiting room wasn't packed, there were a couple of wheelchairs challenging my path to door which protected the medical staff from the sickly hoards. the guy who checked me in said the wait was probably going to be about 2 hours. i figured those wheelchairs were going to beat me in. but i didn't even care--i was just relieved to be in close proximity to medical assistance.

they called my name 10 minutes later! (it's a good thing i hadn't decided to go across the street to jack in the box, because the thought did cross my mind.) i learned that the magic words when going to urgent care are "chest pain." the triage nurse took my vital signs, and looked at her machine like it was broken when she saw how high my pulse was. and then she took it again. and then again. apparently it was pretty high. i thought it was good that my heart was strong enough to pump so fast--she did not! they hustled me into a room where they took my blood pressure laying down, sitting up, and standing. and they used the kid cuff! if i had felt better, i would have been mortified! i was already wearing a hospital gown--you would think that would be enough humiliation . . . and then came the ekg--i guess "chest pain" and a high pulse are cause for concern to urgent care personnel. the ekg was normal, so the nurse said, "wait here."

are you kidding me?? i was in the inner sanctum. and it had only taken me 10 minutes to get in! i wasn't going anywhere until i had some answers. i sat on the soft, cushy "bed" for a while, and then finally gave it up and laid down to nap . . .

and then, my phone rang. it was my doctor's office. "we think you should see a pulmonary specialist. can you go thursday afternoon?" there i was, laying on a bed in urgent care, wearing two hospital gowns (yes, there is a story there,) waiting for permission to stroll down the hall to have a chest xray. in my two hospital gowns. "sure," i said. "what time?" i figured it might be a good idea to keep my options open. because if they somehow managed to get past rollie and send me home with a bag of cough medicine, i could always go see the specialist . . .

the ekg was normal, so once they were convinced i was not going to have a heart attack and die right there in urgent care, they sent me down the hall for a chest xray. in my two hospital gowns. and let me tell you, my insurance dollars are NOT being used to pay for heat in that building! it was COLD!!

after the xray, i had to wait again for my turn to get a room. i was so tired, i fell asleep. in a chair. in the waiting room. in my two hospital gowns. when they called my name, i went cautiously through the doors, wondering what was next . . .

it turned out to be a warmed blanket! i was in the middle of thinking, "it has all been worth it! i have a warmed blanket!!" when the nurse wheeled in the iv stuff. "uh oh. this can't be good . . . " apparently i was dehydrated, which meant they were going to sloosh saline solution into my body through an iv--and fyi, room temperature liquid feels cold when going into a body temperature body! now i understood the need for the warmed blanket . . . then, when the iv was empty, they repeated the whole 3 position blood pressure dance again.

the doctor came in, looked at the xrays and declared "pneumonia!" she talked to me about it for a while, ordered some medication and a breathing treatment, (yes rollie took a picture--the poor man had been sitting with me for hours with nothing to do, so i humored him . . . for some reason, he thought this was hilarious!)and said i should stay home from work for a week or two. WHAT?!?!?! oh nonononono! clearly she didn't understand the whole "i don't get sick days" thing. she obviously didn't know that my little dumplings had to be ready to perform in the christmas program in two weeks. or that parent conferences are scheduled for next week. or that CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!! she must have read the horror on my face, because she finally said i had to stay home at least this week, and then we could see how i was feeling.

i can tell you right now how i will be feeling on monday--well enough to go back to work!

but before i can do that, i have to rest. all week. at home. and drink lots of water. and see the pulmonary specialist. and get past rollie . . .

i think i need a nap.