so today . . . i answered my phone and heard these words--"mom, i had an accident and i'm on the freeway..."
i immediately envsioned mangled metal, broken glass, and ambulances with stretchers.
"are you ok?" i tried very calmly to ask, thinking well at least she is able to dial her phone and speak.
"i think so, but i'm on the freeway and i spun around and i need you to call james and tell him i'll be late."
ok, first of all "i had an accident, and i am on the freeway" are not words any mother wants to hear. ever. but when you live in a metropolitan area as we do, freeways are part of our everyday life. thousands of people drive on them every day, probably too fast, probably too close, and still make it safely to and from their destinations. but sometimes they don't. sometimes somebody cuts you off, forcing you into the lane next to you, where you apparently hit another car which results in your car spinning across four lanes of traffic, and then getting hit by another car before you slam nose first into the center divider. that's what happened to my precious daughter today. and yes, she was calling me from the car, sitting across the freeway, waiting for the police to arrive.
she was not calm. she was not driving her car. she was sitting in a puddle of spilled soda pop, surrounded by dust from the airbags, and unable to hear. she was scared. she started to get out of the car, only to have the driver from the car who hit her angrily come after her. she got back in her car and called me. because they were expecting her at the fireworks stand, and she didn't want everyone to worry when she didn't show up. that's why she called--so i could call james and tell him she might be a little late getting back . . .
thankfully she seems to be ok. and amazingly the car she was driving was not totaled. it should have been. she said, "i could just imagine angels all around the car, with their feet sticking out to take the impact of the car slamming into that divider." it's probably true. i was sitting at home, not driving, so my angels were probably hanging out with her angels today. thank goodness.
i was talking to a friend this morning about a situation with her daughter. and i said to her, "there comes a point where you can't protect her anymore. she has to make her own decisions and live with those consequences. it may be hard for you, but that's part of growing up. don't you trust that God with her?" i'm sure they were hard words to hear--they weren't particularly easy words to say, but they are true and i meant them.
as i was in my car on my way to the fireworks stand to deliver diandra's message, those words came back to me. i'll admit i was worried about my daughter. i was worried if she was going to be ok physically. i was worried if she was going to be ok emotionally. i was worried about the reaction of the car's owner. i was worried about the whole insurance issue. i was worried about how everything was going to get taken care of, when we are on our way out of town in two days. i was worried about how i was going to get everything done i needed to get done now that i was going to be spending the rest of the day at the fireworks stand. i was worried about if she would get a citation (she didn't.) and then i heard these words--"ok, so all that stuff you said this morning doesn't apply to you? you don't trust that God is in control here? you don't think He is looking out for diandra?"
shoot! i hate it when that happens . . .
because i do believe God is in control. i know that he can protect diandra when i cannot. so without any real information about the accident or how diandra was, i had to just let go and realize again that i can't always be with her. i can't always protect her. we live in a world where stuff happens, and it isn't always good. but it is ok, because God is watching out for us. He didn't protect diandra from the accident, but He did protect her. she walked away instead of having to be carried out on a stretcher.
i'm thankful every day for my daughter. i'm thankful there will be many more days ahead for us. i'm thankful for kind police officers who helped her at the accident site, and i am thankful for caring friends who stayed at the fireworks stand way past when they had planned. i'm thankful she was not driving her jeep. i'm thankful she has good insurance. and i'm thankful that we don't have to deal with emergencies alone, because God is always there.
this year july 4th is also thanksgiving :)