if only i had some self-control...

so today . . . i am forced to write a quick blog. you know how that goes. i say something like, "it is late. i don't have time to blog. i have to go to bed now." and then i blog for an hour...

but not tonight, no siree, not tonight.

i had big plans for my evening. big plans. we went to dinner, and then i sat down with my computer, ready for an evening of blogging, facebook, and lesson planning. (yes, i am a party girl!!) i sat down on the couch, and rollie came into the family room with his new ipad. "i think i will just sit in here with you and work on my ipad while you watch tv," he said.

you may be saying, "awwww, how sweet," but that is not what i am saying. i am saying, "oh no! now i won't get anything done!!" because there is just something about sharing the same air with my husband that keeps me from doing anything! i can't explain it, but that is just the way it is. "it's ok," i told myself. "i sit here and surf the web all the time while we are watching tv. i can do this. i can blog while he is in the room with me. really, i can!"

and maybe i could have, if he and his evil ipad hadn't come over to where i was sitting to show me something. "look," he said. and then he proceeded to show me this very cool site that showed houses for sale in our area.

we have to buy a house. since rollie is beginning a new job next month, we can't stay in our current house. it belongs to our church, and they are going to need it for their new pastor. thankfully, they won't need it for a few months, so we have a little bit of time, but WE HAVE TO BUY A HOUSE!!

really, this is a wonderful thing. it is. and i am so thankful that we have this great opportunity. at least, i am thankful with the rational part of my brain. but the other part of my brain is screaming at me, "how will you ever find a house you can afford that you want to live in?!?! and what if you make the wrong decision?!?! what if there are hidden problems?!?!? what if the neighbors are drug-dealers in disguise?!?! what if they aren't in disguise?!?!? what if they don't like our dogs barking?!?!? how will i ever get packed and moved and unpacked while still working?!?!?" what if the taxes are more than we budgeted for?!?!? what if the utility bills are more than we budgeted for?!?!? what if i hate every house we look at?!?!? what if we choose a house, but a cat lived there and no one tells us and rollie's allergies threaten to kill him after we have already signed that mountain of papers?!?!?"

it's too bad the rational part of my brain is not the part that is the boss of me...

rollie and his evil ipad proceeded to show me houses that were for sale, in our area, in our price range. and i started looking... we looked together for a while, but he was soooo slow! he had to read every word in the description. he had to look at how the asking price compared with other homes in it's neighborhood. he studied each picture that was posted.

all i wanted to do was zip through the pictures. if i didn't like how the outside looked, i skipped it. if there were no pictures, i was not interested. if the backyard was concrete, or the carpeting was green, or the garage was detached, i was ready to move on. (why would anyone choose bright green carpeting anyway?!?!? maybe they should have put it in the back yard instead of all that concrete--it sure looked like grass!!) i admit i was somewhat impatient with rollie's methodical perusal of the facts. after about 40 minutes, he left the evil ipad with me (i know, i was shocked too!) and went to bed. "wake me up when you are done," he said, "so i can plug the ipad in and charge it." "oh, i won't have to wake you up," i said. "i won't be that long."

uh huh. famous last words.

it was addicting. it was worse than playing bejeweled! i looked at those house listings for two more hours! i looked at every house that was even remotely interesting. i compared square footage and lot size. i counted bathrooms and looked for wood floors. i checked out laundry rooms and counter tops. and i marked some as "favorites," even though i am pretty sure none of them are the house for us.

really, i don't know why i am even looking. the last time we bought a house, rollie moved months before i did, so he picked a house and was able to rent it. he could have just bought it, but i wasn't sure. i needed to look at every house that was for sale before we made a decision. thankfully it was a small town! and so we looked at every house that was for sale, and then decided to buy the house we were already renting--the one rollie had chosen without me--because then i knew that it was the best!

he could probably do it again. but he won't. because he knows that i have to shop and compare and shop some more and check everything out, before i can make a decision. he knows if i am going to be happy in whatever house we finally decide on, i have to know that i have exhausted all the possibilities--i have to know that there isn't a better house out there that we missed.

can you say ocd? it is going to be a nightmare to go house hunting with me!

so tonight, i spent my evening virtually shopping for a house. i didn't virtually buy one, but at least by looking online i am figuring out what i am looking for. hopefully this will make the actual house hunting a bit easier...

and now, i really have no time to blog, because it is late, and i am tired! house hunting is exhausting--even when it is done from the comfort of my couch!