what do i look like? wikipedia??

so today . . . one of my students asked me, "what color is lizard's pee?"

how do they think of these things? do they lie awake at night trying to think of questions i can't answer?? because it is not all that hard to stump me. but lizard pee?!?!?!

there they stood, looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"i don't know," i said. "i don't think i've ever seen a lizard go to the bathroom."

and then i realize how funny that sounds--because "go to the bathroom" is a polite euphemism for, you know, eliminating waste from the body.

i hate the word "pee."

"is it green?" one little dumpling asks.

how the heck do i know? but inquiring minds are waiting . . .

"i don't think it is green," i say. although the truth is, it could be rainbow colored for all the factual information i have in my head about lizard urine. "it is probably pretty clear, just like ours."

"oh," they say with sudden understanding, "then it is yellow."

"or peach," another one volunteers.

peach?!?!?! i don't think i even want to know . . .

"mine is clear," one little girl says. finally i see a way out. "clear is good," i say. "that means you are drinking enough water. our bodies need water to be healthy, so clear is good."

next question-- "what's for snack today?"