a retreat?!?!?!

so today . . . i am not home, i am at murrieta hot springs for women's retreat. i am actually writing this on thursday night and scheduling it to post on friday, because i am pretty sure i will not have internet access all weekend! but my blogging has been somewhat sporadic lately, between battling evil viruses and feeling cranky instead of funny, and i didn't want you to go all weekend without any new posts. however, since i am writing this on thursday night, i don't know what will happen to me over the weekend, so what to write, what to write . . . i thought about making something up, but then i remembered about last year . . .

usually women's retreat is fairly uneventful for me. i work friday morning, eat lunch with rollie, sit in bumper to bumper weekend traffic for three hours (to make a one hour trip,) arrive at the retreat location, stay there all weekend, and come home on sunday afternoon. and then my weekend is gone. because although we call it a retreat, i usually come home more tired than when i left. while most people think of a retreat as being in a quiet, secluded place where lots of resting and relaxing happen, that has not been my experience. it seems like most of the "retreats" i attend are not restful at all. actually, it would be much more restful for me to stay home . . . but i digress . . .

anyway, last year was not restful (as usual,) but it was eventful. and i blogged about it the following tuesday, on october 7, 2008. here's what happened...

so, this weekend was our church's annual women's retreat. while i am not much of a "let's get all the girls together" kind of person, i usually enjoy it once i get there. this year, however, there were a few bumps in the road on my way to a fun weekend.

it started off great! beautiful weather, a chance for a road trip in my convertible, loud music on the stereo, and leaving early enough to avoid most of the traffic (my usual lunch with rollie being sacrificed on the altar of a quick trip.) my plan was to eat after i got past corona and most of the traffic--i had my book and i figured i could spend a while eating, and reading, and refilling my soda cup. then i would head on down the freeway a few miles and spend some more time at the outlet mall before arriving at the retreat center in time for dinner. it was a perfect plan!

and then i missed the exit--the one with all the food places . . .

it is a little hard to exit when you are zooming along in the far left lane, which is where i was.

ok, plan b. i will just eat at the dairy queen at the outlet mall. but then i almost missed that exit too! either i needed to slow down or start driving in the right hand lane where all the exits were! (when you only go someplace once a year, i guess you kind of forget where things are . . . ) thankfully the traffic was light, so i just quickly cut across three lanes of traffic and made it off the exit at the outlet mall.

ok, mission accomplished. i ate at the dairy queen, but without my book, because i didn't want to schlep it around all afternoon. so lunch wasn't quite as relaxing as i had pictured, but the cheeseburger was still good and there was still shopping to be done!

and then it happened. for the first time EVER, i did not find anything to buy at the gap! nothing!! the gap is my go-to store at this outlet mall--i ALWAYS find great stuff there at ridiculously low prices. always. so it was a little disorienting, but i soldiered on and did have some success at old navy and the guess store. still, nothing from the gap--this was not an auspicious beginning . . .

i checked in at the retreat, unloaded my car, had dinner and went to our evening session--all good. but before i went to bed, i decided to go out and get the new jeans i purchased at old navy to wear the next day. and guess what i found? my car battery was dead!!!

now my car is only two years old, so i'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this, but it is the only explanation i can come up with for why the beeper won't unlock the car. so i went back inside to get ready for bed, without my new jeans, and wondering about my car . . .

the next morning my alarm didn't go off, as i had set it for sunday not saturday, so i got a bit of a late start but still managed to make it to breakfast. and then our morning session began. i saw someone without a chair, and since i don't mind sitting on the floor, i picked up my chair to offer it to them. and managed to tip over my diet soda onto the carpet in the process. i rushed to the ladies room to get paper towels to clean up the spill, but the dispenser didn't work. so i knocked on the men's room door, and when i got no response, i bravely entered and retrieved a handful of paper towels. of course by now most of the soda had soaked deep into the carpeting, but i did the best i could (thank goodness for dark carpets!)

i finally settled down on the floor at the back of the room to listen to the speaker. she was very good by the way (but she had these really cool glasses on that kept distracting me!) pretty soon i was not feeling too good--i got really hot and sweaty and thought "i should probably go to the bathroom now" which i did. and i got sick! and it wasn't fun! i finally came out and laid down on the stone wall outside the building we were in and waited for someone to help me back to my room. there was no way i was going to get there under my own power. and the cold stone of the wall felt so cool to my hot head . . . soon someone realized i had gone missing and came and found me nearly asleep on the wall. security was called, and they came and rescued me. in a golf cart.

a few hours later i was feeling better, which was good, because i still had my dead car to deal with. fortunately we have AAA so i called them, and they said a truck would be there within the hour. fifty-five minutes later the truck arrived. he checked the battery. he jump started the battery, and then he checked it again. the car was running, but he informed me that it wasn't charging and if we shut it off, it probably would not restart. i needed a new battery! luckily he had a battery that would work, and he would be glad to install it for me. so i pulled out the plastic and soon my car was running again.

i went back inside and took a nap.

i managed to eat dinner without incident and made it through the whole evening session without getting sick. thank goodness.

then it was time for me to go home--i was leaving early because i have responsibilities on sunday morning. i'd been looking forward to the trip home, as i really enjoy driving my car at night with the top down. but guess what? it had been raining! the ground was wet and the air felt damp. and it was dark and i couldn't tell if there were clouds in the sky or if it would rain some more. so i got in my car, cranked up the heat, stopped for a giant soda and headed home.

i kind of think i've retreated enough for one weekend.

let's hope that this year is less interesting . . .