so today . . . i was just standing there, minding my own business during church, when my daughter looks me up and down and says, "you're not going to wear THAT tonight, are you?"
there she was, standing there in her pretty white dress with her coral shoes, her hair curled and a flower in her hair, looking all beautiful. i was wearing my skinny jeans, brown t-shirt, and my black & brown checked vans. actually, i kind of looked like a teenage boy.
here's the thing--diandra is the youth pastor. she can wear just about anything, even on sunday mornings, but usually she wears her nice clothes. i am the worship leader. this means that i stand up on the stage playing the keyboard and singing, fighting the glare of the spotlights. i usually wear my jeans--or sometimes in summer, my long shorts . . .
i admit that this morning, i was dressed down even more than usual. it's been a busy weekend, and i've spent most of it in a dress. i haven't been able to schlupp around at all! but when your child looks at you and says, "you're not going to wear THAT tonight, are you?" even when you know you are going to change before your evening event, it's a little unnerving.
i am not ruled by what other people think--at least, not most of the time. many times i am dressed just the opposite of everyone else, but i think it is just a way that my rebellious streak gets out and has a little fun. i do care about what my family thinks--i don't want to embarass them. so generally, diandra is my yardstick. i definitely do NOT want to go out looking like i think i am 16. or 25.
sometimes when we are shopping, we will see something cute, but i will say, "no, i think it is too young for me." diandra doesn't always agree--sometimes she says, "mom! stop saying that!" but then we will be walking down the mall, and see a perfect example of what i fear--a grandma wearing short shorts and high heels. or a bare midriff. or leggings. (shudder!!!)
today i just needed to be comfortable. and it was ok, because our service is designed for teenagers and young adults--it's dark, it's loud, and everyone (except beautiful diandra) wears their jeans. after church we ate lunch at sizzler--me in my jeans and everyone else in their nice clothes (they all attend "grown-up church.") and then i went home and changed into more appropriate attire for our evening event.
because while everyone at our church is used to seeing me in my jeans on sundays, the rest of the world is not.