so today . . . is mother's day. i'm going to take the day off and repost the blog i wrote last year on myspace for this special day. i am doing this for two reasons: 1-i think it would be odd for you to read this on some random wednesday this summer. i mean, it was written for mother's day and should be read on mother's day, and 2-i think it is a great post, and i'm not sure i could improve on it this year. although, i am going to add something new at the end . . .
so here it is. this was originally posted on sunday, may 11, 2008.
mother's day--an interesting "holiday." actually, i'm not sure you can call it a holiday if you don't get a day off work, but maybe i am nitpicking. now don't get me wrong--i think moms should have a day (or a whole week!) when they feel appreciated for all they do for their families (including dads!) and the sacrifices they make to take care of their children. moms are amazing and should be recognized as such. and if we need to designate the second sunday in may as the time to show our moms how great we think they are, then i guess that's what we should to do. so here's how mother's day works--when your children are small, it is up to the dad in the family to be sure that something great happens on mother's day. and as moms, we all recognize that, and we enjoy the lovely gifts that the dads choose and then give to us "from junior." then the children grow big enough to either make mom something "special" or choose their own gift, which could just as easily be gummy worms as godiva chocolates. and we enjoy that, because we know they are learning to give from their little hearts. then they grow into teenagers, and it becomes a 50/50 chance whether the day is made special by dad or the kids, but hopefully someone will remember . . . and then the day arrives--your first mother's day when all the kids are grown and out of the house. what happens then? i mean, you are still technically the mom, but there are no children at home to take care of any more. so should you still celebrate mother's day? i mean, you're not actively mothering anyone, and it seems they don't need you any more. they have hopefully grown into competent, responsible adults (finally) and so dad is probably not going to remind them that "sunday is mother's day." so where does that leave you? this is the year that i felt that way. maybe we wouldn't be doing much celebrating on mother's day. i mean, how much mothering had i really done this last year. my darling daughter HAS grown into a competent, responsible adult. and i am in her head, so she really doesn't need me anymore. and it was also rollie's birthday. (do birthdays trump other holidays like mother's day? we really need the answer to this, since all of our birthdays fall within a day or two of nationally recognized holidays . . .) i am one of the lucky moms who has a daughter that is good at showing how much she loves and appreciates me--all the time. she calls me, she texts me, she writes me notes on myspace. so of course she wasn't going to let this day go by unnoticed. we went to lunch after church (for rollie's birthday) and then she and i went to the mall where she introduced me to a wonderful store where we spent the afternoon shopping--and she bought me an outfit! since i am usually the one buying her an outfit, this was a lovely surprise! we had a great time, as we always do when we are together. my daughter is awesome! when i got home i called MY mom. she is one of those great moms who made the transition from mothering to mentoring to friendship easily--at least it seemed to me like she did it easily. i am sure there were times when she would have made different choices for me than i did, but she supported the choices i made anyway. she has let me live my life my way, but has always been there when i needed her. we live 1000 miles apart now, and so i only get to see her a couple of times a year, and i miss her, especially on my birthday. but thanks to sprint, i can call and talk to her for free on weekends, so i do that every few weeks. and today we talked for an hour and a half. my mom is awesome too! i feel so fortunate to be stuck in the middle of these two incredible women! i should thank God every day for them, and some days i do! they both enhance my existence in such different and wonderful ways. in some ways i am like my mom, and in some ways i am like my daughter. and in some ways i am very different from both of them. they are both smart and beautiful and fun to be around. and i am so glad, that although one calls me mom and one calls me daughter, they both call me friend.
i just wanted to add that in the last year, i have learned something from each of these amazing women. from my daughter, i have learned courage in the face of seemingly devastating circumstances and seen that it is possible to overcome situations that threaten to overtake us. she has had a very tough year, but has emerged from it whole and strong and optimistic about her future.from my mom, i have learned that friendship means being there, regardless of the circumstances, being supportive by listening endlessly, and sometimes letting go of your own plan to be there for your friend. my mom does not give up on a friend easily--she will hang in there with them whether the circumstances are fun or difficult. she is the kind of friend we all wish we had . . .(this would be a much better picture if i knew how to crop!!! and btw, this photo was taken by my 5 year old nephew with diandra's expensive camera--not too bad, considering my mom HATES to have her picture taken and will usually avoid it at all costs . . . )
so happy mother's day to both my mom, and my daughter (who made me into a mom!) i love you both very much!!