timing is everything . . .

so today . . . i am horrified!

yesterday, just as i was about to start leading worship--i mean really ready to start, we were on the stage, the boys were ready to play and i had just opened my mouth to begin--when diandra came running up to tell me something. she was trying to be discreet and was helped by the fact that it was dark except for the stage lighting. but the problem was, she was talking quietly. and you know my hearing. i said "what?" twice, before i heard her say, "the alarm is going off at the house and i have to go check it out."

ok.

of all the times for our security alarm to go off, sunday morning is the absolute worst time. all three of us are busy at church, which makes it hard for the alarm company to contact us, because we have our phones on silent, if they are even within reach. and it isn't like we can just drop what we are doing and leave! but it is also the very best time for someone to burgle our house, because if they have been "casing the joint," they know that there is no one in the house from about 8:45 a.m. until we get home from lunch at about 1:00 every single sunday.

before we moved in several years ago, this house was robbed two or three times. we live in a really nice neighborhood in probably the safest part of the los angeles metropolitan area. we don't have gangs. we don't have graffiti. we don't have homeless people. we DO have lots and lots of police officers. so it really isn't the smartest place for a burglar to strike. (maybe they think in such a nice part of town, there will be lots of good stuff to take . . . ) however, since we have moved in, no one has tried to break in--at least that we know of. i think it is the presence of our two vicious dogs--they are pretty loud, and mia can look like she will eat you if you cross her.

anyway, the alarm company finally reached someone on the church staff who came and got diandra--because she was the only one of us not on stage at that particular moment (rollie was playing his bass with the band in the sanctuary.) that is when she came and told me she was leaving, so that i could cover for her. she had the sense to take ernie (the guy who got the message) with her, and off they went.

when they got here, they were met by several police officers. diandra came in and turned off the alarm, and they discovered that one of the sensors had fallen off one of the doors . . .

yeah.

we had been dealing with that dumb sensor all weekend. rollie had tried hot glue--that didn't hold. i tried tacky--it still fell off. so saturday, rollie stuck it on with that double-sided foam tape. we thought for sure that would stay put. i mean, have you ever tried to get that off of a surface?!? it is impossible! and really, if i had thought about it, i would not have set the alarm that morning until we were sure that it would hold. but i didn't think about it, so i had set the alarm and gone off to church . . .

and that is all i knew. until today.

today it was hot again, so when rollie got home from work this afternoon, we just sort of collapsed in front of the fan (because the only guy who can work the magic that is needed on our a/c is out of town!) we were just hanging out, and the dogs were fighting over us, and rollie started talking to milo who was trying to lick rollie's nose off his face. "yes," he said, "you are so vicious." ( i soon found out that this was sarcasm.) "when those police officers came in the house, you just went right over and sat on their feet."

wait a minute. what? the police officers came into the house? WHAT????

so rollie said, well, yes they had to come in first and clear the house. WHAT?!?!?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT POLICE OFFICERS CAME INTO THE HOUSE? AND WENT INTO EVERY ROOM?? AND CHECKED THE CLOSETS AND THE SHOWER??????

now i am horrified.

remember when your mom used to tell you to wear clean underwear in case you were ever in an accident and had to go to the hospital? maybe she should have saved her breath and instead said don't go to church while you are in the process of cleaning out the scary room.

yes, remember what i am doing?

the only room in the house that currently looks neat and clean is--you guessed it--the man room. every other room in the house is somehow involved in the scary room project. so now the whole house is scary. this is a temporary state--there is a charity coming to pick stuff up next tuesday--but still, those police officers didn't know that.

they looked around and asked diandra if she could tell if anything was missing. and she (my darling precious daughter) looked around and said, no, she couldn't tell.

just kill me now.

my mom talks about how she hates it when my dad is working in the garage, because he leaves the garage door up and all the neighbors can see inside (remember i get my pack-ratiness from my dad--his garage is full of stuff.) she says she thinks they might think the whole house looks like that. i always say to her, "oh no. everybody's garage has stuff in it. it is not a reflection of the rest of your house. don't worry about it." but now i know how she feels. my house does not always look like this, but those police officers don't know that. every time they drive by (and they drive by often enough) they are going to see the inside of my house as it was yesterday.

i'm thinking of staging another alarm malfunction in a couple of weeks when everything is cleaned up. maybe even on a sunday morning. what are the odds that those same police officers would respond . . . ?