Monday, August 3, 2009

the devil (donuts) and rollie . . .

so today . . . i was operating on very little sleep. you see, a charity is coming through our neighborhood tomorrow to pick up donations, and you know what i have been doing for the last couple of weeks! so i have lots of stuff to donate. but if i want it to be tax deductible, i cannot just throw it into bags and estimate it's value--according to our tax preparer, and my sister-in-law (who is pretty smart) each item must be documented. documentation of items i am donating to a charity is proving to be a major pain in the you-know-what!

so i was operating on very little sleep. i stayed up last night until the shopping channel started airing their "good morning" show. although it is based in florida (which is three hours ahead of us) i still decided that perhaps it was time to make my way to my bed. and collapse there. and sleep forever . . .

but i woke up at 9:30--even though rollie had closed the drapes so the sun wouldn't shine on me and closed the door with the dogs on the other side so they wouldn't lick me or walk on me or demand to be let under the covers. all precautions had been taken to ensure that i could sleep until lunch time if necessary, but still i woke up . . .

i tried to go back to sleep. i was sooo tired, but my stupid brain would not shut up!! i tried to think about blank space--my brain made a list on it. i went to my "happy place" (which, btw happens to be cozumel)--my brain started thinking about the heat and how i should really get up and check to see if rollie remembered to close the windows and turn on the air conditioning--which of course he did!! i can't even believe my brain tried to get me with that one, but it almost worked. and then i thought about breakfast--and decided i wasn't going back to sleep, so i might as well get up and eat.

yesterday a couple of my friends brought me a box of chocolate mini donuts. remember last week when i ate a whole box by myself in a day and a half? i thought that would be the end of my chocolate mini donut binge, but apparently that was not going to be the case . . . they brought them to me at church, and when we left i put them in my trunk, because we were going to subway for lunch and the top was down on my car and i didn't want anyone to steal them. but it was pretty hot in the trunk. and yet, when i got home and took the donuts out, they were still covered in chocolate! it was amazing! i don't know what they put in that chocolate coating, but it did not budge from those donuts. i know what happens to hershey kisses, and even crayons, when you leave them in a hot car, but that chocolate was fused to those donuts. they probably add some sort of bonding agent to the coating to make it stick, which will probably kill you if you eat huge amounts of it. which wouldn't be a problem for most people . . . anyway, i took them into the house, put them in the refrigerator, and they were fine. i really didn't plan to eat any of them yesterday, but as i said, i was up really, really late . . .

when i came down for breakfast this morning, i went straight for the donut box. i had left it out on the counter last night so the donuts wouldn't be so cold. i knew it was a risk, because although rollie won't touch those donuts (if he is going to eat a mini donut, he prefers the powdered sugar ones,) diandra might. and she usually goes into the kitchen when she comes home at night--i think just to see if i got any new food and if it is something she likes.

when i opened the box, it looked different. i felt like mama bear. someone had eaten some of my donuts--not all of them, not even half, but i could tell that some were gone. figuring it had to be diandra (because the dogs would have finished them off,) i popped a few in my mouth, swigged some diet soda (sorry mom, but i was up sooo late that i needed the caffeine--and i know that sounds bad too--needed caffeine--but i did . . . ) and went on about my morning. because if diandra wanted some donuts, that was ok with me--as long as she left me some.

fast forward to lunch time. rollie and i were at rubio's. again. you know why. we were sitting at the table waiting for our food, when rollie said, "i ate five chocolate donuts this morning!"

whaaaat?

he continued, "i couldn't help myself. i saw them sitting on the counter, and i ate one. and then i ate another one and another one, and i couldn't stop until i had eaten FIVE!"

my husband is the most disciplined person i know. he makes decisions based on what is right and then that is what he does, even if it is hard. he does NOT eat chocolate mini donuts--carbs AND sugar--are you kidding me?!?! he has decided to eat healthy, and so except for the occasional subway chocolate chip cookie (and o'henry bars at christmas) that is what he does.

i was flabbergasted! i was shocked! then i was delighted!! rollie ate five chocolate mini donuts (insert smiley face!) he said he couldn't help himself (insert a HUGE smiley face!!) he said he couldn't stop at one or two or three (ok, even a huge smiley face isn't going to do the job here--i need one that laughs hysterically . . . ) he said they were devil donuts!

the look on his face as he was telling me all this was priceless--i wish i had video. i know that he knew that i would be amused by his topple off the healthy eating pedestal where he usually resides, but there was also a hint of confusion on his face, like he was thinking, "i don't know how this could have happened to me . . . "

i do. it happens to me all the time. it's those blasted devil donuts--they are evil . . . i think it is something in the chocolate coating . . .

5 comments:

Mom said...

The ingredient you are wondering about is wax. You know it's called parafin. It is what farmer's wives used to pour hot on top of jams and jellies as a perservative. Sets up. Hard to melt. Anyway, enjoy the donuts. Mayabe this could be your only vice.....

Wendy said...

Yeah mom... the ingredient is certainly not chocolate! Imagine what it does to your insides! Good for Rollie! I'm proud of him... Me? I'm headed for the Dove dark chocolate!

Scuotto Graphics Plus Blog said...

Sorry Julie,I guess next time we will make it cream puffs.

BTW- this is Dawn. :)

Jewelielyn said...

mmmm--cream puffs! stop!! i have to stop thinking sugary thoughts . . . !

Rollie said...

Okay, that was funny. I'm sitting here laughing my head off. You really have a great way with words, Babe! Thanks for brightening up my day.

BTW, I'm not really perfect, I just do a good job of fooling you. :)