so today . . . i had to go buy dog food. i hate to buy dog food.
you wouldn't think it was such a big deal--just go to petco, grab the biggest bag of food i can carry, pay, and head home. but it is so much more complicated than that . . .
i think our dogs have intestinal issues. they are both prone to passing gas--extremely aromatic gas. it must be connected with what they eat, but it took me a while to catch on. so it was several months before i found a brand of food they could eat that didn't result in a not-so-lovely smell occasionally invading our space. i was so glad to finally solve the problem--until i went to the store after they had finished the first bag and tried to get another one!
there are more brands of dog food than there are kinds of cola! and the packaging on some is very similar. i walked up and down those aisles trying to remember what the right bag looked like . . . but there were just too many choices. i finally picked one that looked like the right color to me, bought the 35 pound bag (because it is cheaper that way, and we have two dogs,) wrestled the thing into my tiny car, and went home.
it wasn't long before i knew i had purchased the wrong kind of food. how did i know, you ask? let me just say that soon our precious pets were adding their own special scent to the air. and we just had to live with it for a while, because i had bought a 35 pound bag of food!! and i was too cheap to just throw it away. and they liked it . . . but you can be sure that i made a beeline for the trash can in the garage to see what the other dog food bag looked like. and then i pulled out my phone and took a picture. because those dastardly dog food companies sometimes change their packaging, and i don't ever want to come home with the wrong food again!
choosing the right bag of food is only the beginning. i always buy the big bag, and for some reason petco puts the big bags on the bottom shelves and the smaller bags on the higher shelves. this makes no sense to me at all--probably because i am a small person. a little bag is easy to lift and carry--a 35 pound bag is not! i always count my blessings that i've never been caught on video trying to get that bag of food into my cart, because i am sure the youtube crowd would get quite a giggle out of it. first i have to drag the bag far enough off the BOTTOM shelf that i can get my arms around it. then i have to fling it into the air toward my shopping cart and hope it lands on the edge so that i can tip in on over into the cart. and THEN after i pay for it and wheel it outside to my car, i have to throw the top half of my body down into the cart, grabbing the bag around the middle before i fall backwards pulling the bag out with me, again aiming it to land near the trunk of my car. if i get anywhere close, i can then push, shove, and roll the bag into the trunk. if i don't get anywhere close . . . ? i don't even want to think about that!
and now you know why i hate to buy dog food.
today after i had successfully trapped the bag of dog food in my cart and was standing there catching my breath, something caught my eye. i just stood there staring at this gruesome dog toy that had been packaged in such a way as to make it look like fun for your dog. i mean, it is a cute pink pig, right? no, it is a cardboard cutout of a cute pink pig with two fur-covered squeaky rubber legs attached. so when you get this item home, you remove the furry legs and let your pet pretend that all that's left of the pig is it's legs--and now they are his to play with. and if that weren't disgusting enough, let's just try another version . . .seriously!!! do you really want furry chicken legs with rubber feet laying around your house?!?! do you want to have to throw that and then listen to it squeak when your dog grabs it in his sharp little teeth?? do you want to have to explain to the children where the rest of the chicken is?!?! who thought this was a good idea?!?!?!?!?!? oh yeah, there were also cute little white bunny legs too . . .
and then, when i turned away, this is what i saw.
thirteen dollars and 49 cents (plus tax) for little blue baggies to pick up doggie poop? i know all about picking up doggie poop, but really, if you pick it up with a tissue and deposit in a regular baggie, you can get the job done practically for free! although, then you don't have a cute little blue bag to swing around to let all the neighbors know that yes, you did clean up after your delightful doggie. i can just imagine telling milo, "no milo, we can't go for a walk today. i am all out of cute little blue bags for your poop. so you will just have to wait until i can get more." sheesh!
i admit i took several more pictures of silly things people buy for their dogs on my way out of the store, but i need to wrap this up, so let me leave you with this.
yes, doggie raincoats. in southern california. i have no words . . .