maybe i should leave my brain to science.

so today . . . my m&m's are gone. i am bereft.

i eat a ridiculous amount of dark chocolate m&ms. i am afraid to look at my receipts and add up how much i spend every month on them. i buy the big bags, several at a time. then i hide them around the house. i have to.

i used to hide them all in a drawer in the china cabinet. but then one day i temporarily lost my mind, and went to get a new bag out while diandra was in the room. so now she knows where i keep them. which would be fine if i was good at sharing, but i'm not. i will share, but only if i have to. and if she doesn't know if i have any, then i don't have to share.

so . . . i have to have several different hiding places. of course, now she know that, since she reads my blog . . .

but the main advantage of multiple hiding places is that i always have hope that i am not completely out of dark chocolate m&ms, because i have a system.

i keep the current bag in my desk. this is a good place, as i don't really use my desk--i just keep stuff in it. it is a lovely desk, and i would probably be more productive when working on paperwork if i did it there instead of in front of the tv. but then i couldn't keep my m&ms in it. i also keep a small supply of 3 oz. dixie cups there as well--my container of choice. if i scarf down 3 oz. of dark chocolate m&ms, it is usually enough to satisfy me--at least for a while. sometimes it takes a second cup to get the job done, but 6 oz. is almost always enough. for a while.

when i finish off a bag, i go get the next bag, which is usually in the china cabinet, and i move it to the desk where it is convenient for snacking. (it is at this point that i should get in my car and go to target for more m&ms. but many times i don't.)

the problem begins when i finish off the second bag. if i have not made the trip to target for more m&m's (which takes all of 20 minutes from the time i leave until the time i am back on the couch, so i really have no excuse,) then i have to start thinking about where i hid the other bags. sometimes i find them quickly, sometimes i don't. and sometimes, by the time i find them, i don't really want them all that much anymore--so i put the bag in the desk, ready for the next time, and try to remember to go to target.

but sometimes i don't go looking for more, especially if i kind of think there aren't any more. and here is where the twisted logical reasoning comes in . . .

if i kept all the extra m&ms in one place (like the china cabinet) i would always know exactly how many i had. and when i ate the last m&m out of the last bag, i would know that they were gone. and if i wasn't sure that they were gone, i would just go and look in the china cabinet. then i would know. they are all gone. and i would be sad.

BUT, if i hide them multiple places around the house, then there is always hope that there are more m&ms somewhere, even if i can't find them. so when i finish my "last" bag, i go and look in all the places i usually keep the extras, and even if i don't find any, i still have hope. because maybe, just maybe, i hid a bag in a new place and i just can't remember where. which means that there are still m&ms somewhere in the house. and someday i will find them. and i will be so happy!

maybe not as happy as if i had found the bag and was busily scarfing down m&ms. but happier than knowing my house was m&mless . . .

so maybe i am not bereft. i did buy several bags on sale after christmas. i thought i had eaten all of those, but maybe not. maybe there is a bag of dark chocolate m&ms lurking somewhere just waiting for me to find them. if only they could call out "you are getting warmer (or colder)" i might have a chance. then again, if i don't look, i won't know for certain that i am out. is it worth the risk? do i want to know?

maybe i will just go to target.

if only it wasn't raining . . .