caution!! venting ahead!

so today . . . it was HOT!!! it was too hot to drive with the top down on my car, but i did it anyway--i just prayed for green lights . . .

today i am wondering about my people skills. i tend to think i am pretty good with people, even cranky or mean ones. i'm perpetually nice (except on facebook--i can be a little sassy on there.) i don't steal parking spaces or cut the line or complain about bad service. i respect the rights of others, usually even if it interferes with mine. i give other people the benefit of the doubt. i don't mock kooky ideas--well, at least not out loud. i try to get along. but sometimes it costs me.

. . . maybe if i wasn't in charge of anything--if i just sat back, did my little part and let everyone else do theirs. that would make my life soooo much easier.

unfortunately that is not a choice i can make right now. i've agreed to be a part of something that puts me in a position of leadership. most of the time i am ok with that, but today i just wanted to be part of the wallpaper--one of the people taking directions, not the one giving them.

today it was like i was on a different planet or out in left field all by myself. i could not communicate effectively. i tried explanations, i tried stories, i tried sharing something personal to illustrate my point. and it was all for nothing. they just didn't get it. i was very frustrated! and yet i couldn't ACT frustrated, because i was dealing with people i spend time with and care about. so throwing a temper tantrum, or walking out, or saying, "i don't care what you think, we are going to do it MY way because it is the RIGHT way!!!" really were not options.

i am a smart person--smart enough to realize that i may not always be right, or that my way may not be the only way. but not being able to get people to at least understand what i am trying to say makes me want to scream! you don't have to agree with me (although i like it better if you do!) but at least acknowledge that you get what i am trying to say--or that you are TRYING to get what i am trying to say--before i fly across the room and throttle you . . ! AAGGGHHHH!!!!!!

ok, i got that out of my system.

. . . maybe it's the heat . . .