squishing--good or bad . . . ?

so today . . . while i was walking milo, i started thinking about things that go "squish" and why sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is not.

as i have mentioned before, in our neighborhood, the city has planted a different variety of tree on each street. one street has some kind of fir or pine tree and one street has trees with really fragrant flowers. other than that, i cannot identify the trees. but one street has these trees that drop a sort of round berry-like thing. the "berries" are dark red, and when you step on them, they go "splot!" and kind of disintegrate. they make a terrible mess on the sidewalk, but you can't avoid stepping on them if you walk on the sidewalk under the tree, because it drops so many of them that they are unavoidable. for which i am glad, because it is very satisfying to step on them and feel them go "splot!" and if it only dropped a few, i would feel like i should walk around them, because somebody (probably the gardener) has to clean them up.

the difference between a "splot" and a "squish" is that a squish is really wet, and a splot is much drier (and therefore easier to sweep up!) sadly, you have no say over the kind of tree that is planted by the road in front of your house, because the city decides. i guess if you knew the house you were considering buying had the messy berries on it, you could look for a house on another street, but what if you are looking when the tree doesn't have any berries? you would get a terrible surprise in the spring--unless you like stepping on them, in which case it would be a wonderful surprise!

anyway, as i was stepping on berries today and enjoying the satisfying feel of the "splot!' i also noticed a few snails on the sidewalk. i don't see snails too often when i am walking in our neighborhood, but there are a lot of them at the church. snails kind of creep me out--i'm not sure why--but the idea of stepping on a snail and feeling that slippery "squish" is NOT appealing to me at all! don't misunderstand me--i am not a fan of snails, but they have a very thin shell and a lot of squishy snail inside! so i very carefully step around the snails. i don't think i have ever actually squished a snail before, but i can just imagine what it would be like. in fact, i think if i ever accidentally step on one, like in the dark or when i am carrying too many things and can't see where my feet are going, i might have to throw away the shoes (unless i am wearing a pair of my skechers, which i love too much) because i would think about how horrible that squish felt every time i wore the murderous footwear . . .

then there are blueberries . . . the squishiest fruit ever! i am not a fan of blueberries. i know they are good for you with all those antioxidants they have, but i am just going to have to take my chances with broccoli. i don't even know what blueberries taste like, because when i bite one, i am overwhelmed by the suspense of when the pressure of my teeth on the skin will result in the disgusting burst of blueberry, that i can't even think about the taste! they might be delicious, but i will never know--because they squish. i have learned to eat grapes, even though they share some characteristics with the blueberry, but only because their squish factor is much lower--they don't actually EXPLODE in your mouth.

in contrast, consider cream puffs--you know, the ones you can buy frozen at costco in a huge tub?!? even though they are firm on the outside and soft on the inside, they don't "squish"--they "ooze!" well, that is, if you can wait for them to thaw before you eat them (they are pretty good frozen, says the girl with no patience or self-control . . . ) the inside of a cream puff is just smooth and creamy and sweet, and it sort of rolls around the inside of your mouth while you savor the deliciousness of it.

and junior mints. everyone knows (i hope) that you don't BITE into a junior mint. you pop it in and sort of moosh it into the roof of your mouth with your tongue. this cracks the chocolate "shell" on the outside and lets the soft, sweet mint sort of ooze out. again, firm outer shell with soft creamy inside, but no squishing happening.

so i guess, actually, squishing is not a good thing. splots are fine and oozing is good, but squishing is generally disgusting and should probably be avoided.

unless you like blueberries . . .