so today . . . i was sitting by diandra at church, and we were talking. i was telling her about some of the stuff that had been bothering me. she would make a comment occasionally, but mostly she listened. then she said some very wise things, and ended with, "you know mom, this is out of your control. there is nothing you can do about it. and worrying about it and being mad about it is only hurting you. you just need to let it go. either you trust God with this or you don't. it's your choice."
i have to say that while i now felt a little annoyed with HER, i was also proud. because she was right. i needed to just let it go and let God take care of it. i could choose to continue to rant and rave about it, or i could step back and let God handle it. diandra is probably the only person who could have said that to me without making me feel more irritated. there was a little part of me that thought she would support my anger, or at least think i was right. but she didn't. she listened to me, and then pointed me back in the direction i needed to go. she didn't tell me what i wanted to hear--she told me what i needed to hear.
so that's what i am going to try to do--i'm going to let it go. i'm not totally over the emotions of the situation yet, but i have decided to stop worrying about it. God can handle it--he probably doesn't even need my help! and thanks diandra, for helping me get through today--i needed it! now i know that tomorrow WILL be a better day!